2019
June FROM MY PERSPECTIVE
I’ve had another person ask me for my help. I helped them, but noticed the request was
for the same thing very often. I, also,
noticed, there were cigarettes, beer, visits to a local bar to play games and
other things which were not contributing to helping themselves
financially. At the next request, I
stated, “It is when you carry your own water that you appreciate and value of
every drop.” I didn’t explain it…..just
let them think about it. The requests
for my help dwindled. I guess their
bucket got filled.
Sometimes I have former English students write to me and try
to trip me up on sentence structure. One
particular student who always tried so hard and made me laugh more than one
time, sent me this: “"Well to be
perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who
thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter
in a different perspective and without being condemning of one's valid opinion,
I honestly believed that I completely forgot what I was going to say.” My reply to them was, “Gods!!! How about you diagram that run-on,
multi-compound-complex, prepositionally phrased sentence?” They put an emoji of a face laughing very
hard with this message, “I always loved you, Mz. R. You made English fun and still do.” “Wow,” I humbly thought.
I have a friend whose last name
is Plannt. Her name is Flower. Her brother’s name is Tree. They have a sibling those two call
“Dandelion”. I asked about why that
name. I was told, “Well, he seems to be
just about everywhere, and you can’t make him go away because he’s always
coming back. He’s such a pest like a
weed.”
KIDS!!! They can rant and rave at you not leaving
time or space for you to interject a word.
The kid decided I was too controlling of her and started in on me spewing forth in run-on sentences, at auctioneer speed and volume.
My English educator mind zoned out as I stood there wondering what was coming
next.
My friend, Cathy, has a 6 year old
granddaughter named Sophia. Cathy’s son
was teasing his daughter and told her, “You know Granny loves me more.” Sophia squinted her eyes and loudly disagreed
saying, “No she doesn’t. I am her first
‘Sunshine’. She tells me all the time
and sings YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE to me.”
I’ve tried exercising only to feel bound
and gagged by clothing. So, when no one
was here with me, I took off all my clothes and exercised naked. Well, that went well until the music stopped,
but not all my body parts stopped at the same time!!
CONNOR-ISM
time: Conner was wanting some
Doritos, but could not reach them. He
went to his mother and said, “Mom, Dad put the Doritos on the top of the tippy
top shelf, and I can’t reach them.”
Conner is 7 years old. His older
brother Alex, age 17, went into the bathroom after two other brothers had been
in there. He quickly left saying to his
mother, “I don’t know what those two last ate, but the bathroom smells like
burned McDonald’s.” Conner’s mother
asked if anyone was going to say grace before they ate. Conner volunteered, put his hands together,
bowed his head, and reverently said, “Grace.”
I saw this sign the other day: “In life it is important to know when to stop
arguing with people, and simply let them be wrong.” It reminded me of when my youngest son and my
Beloved were out and about and a man in another vehicle cut them off, then had
to stop in front of them within 8 seconds after passing. Stephen said to his dad, “What are you going
to do about that?” Guy thought for a
moment and said, “Nothing.” Stephen
said, “Oh, you’re just going to let them stay stupid, huh?” Guy’s reply, “Yep, because (Stephen chimed in
with him, saying in unison) you can’t fix stupid.” They laughed.
I went to the store to get a few things. When I checked out, I saw I had 3 bags
full. Gods, I felt like a nursery rhyme.The power to command frequently causes failure to think. -Barbara Tuchman, author and historian 1912-1989)
My doctor put me on a different blood pressure medication. It seems the one I had been taking made my heart beat more slowly than he wanted it; it was between 55-60 beats a minute. I think I was auditioning for THE WALKING DEAD at that rate. Well, I was at the pharmacy to pick up another medication and asked, “I’m taking a blood pressure medication which starts with the letter “C”, but can’t remember the name of it.” The pharmacist knew me, looked up my list and said the name. I agreed that was the one. He asked me if it was working better. I told him, “Yes it seems to be. I’m not making up new dance steps as I walk or when I get up from sitting.” He looked at me trying to register or visualize (you pick) what I was really saying. I saw his look and told him, “I get a little embarrassed saying it made me somewhat dizzy because some people think I’m a nut anyway.” From the back of the counter I heard uncontrollable laughing and then, “That’s for sure.” Carol, the pharm technician, peeked around the corner. The pharmacist then felt he could laugh. I told him, “I’m trying to get my blood pressure down by losing weight. Wouldn’t you know that causes the wrinkles to show in my face. Staying plump keeps them hidden. Now, I’ll be a wrinkley corpse when I die.” Carol absolutely lost it at that one and said, “Gods, Trudy, only you would say that!”
I’m not always available to answer my house
phone. So, on my answering machine it
says, "If you need to talk with her majesty, call her cell phone." I
don't put my cell number on there because I figure if you know me well-enough
to call my cell, you'll know the number. There are too many nut cases out
there, and I don't want to deal with them. It's bad enough I get those stupid
calls from numbers I don't know. Sometimes I want a bit entertainment, so I
answer with one of the following: "FBI fraud division", "county
morgue, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em", "sheriff's department", or a
very loud, "WHAT!!?? I'm digging the hole now. Is the body ready?" It's a circus out there, and I try to send in
the monkeys.
“Not much will stop a determined heart.”
Tjr
I was invited to a wedding of a very
well-liked person. I think every
relative she had was there. The
reception was a very emotional affair; even the wedding cake was in tiers.
My friend told me, “I’m keeping my bathroom
scales in the corner because that’s where that little liar belongs until she
apologizes.” I told her, “Oh, I know. My mind says, ‘I'm just a branch on a tree size’; my
scale says, ‘Yep, one you could hang extra heavy mining equipment tires from.’”
I saw where there are actually 11
seasons. They are: Winter, fool’s Spring, second Winter, Spring
of deception, third Winter, mud season, actual Spring, Summer, false Fall, second
Summer (usually when school starts!), and actual Fall.
My daughter, Della, makes beautiful jewelry
and sells it at craft shows. She is now
not only continuing to make the jewelry, but has ventured into making picture
using old jewelry. On her first show of
the year, I sent her a message about taking a picture of the pictures along
with the price of each for future reference.
She sent me a message telling me she’d already thought of that the night
before. We have to cross a large river
to visit each other. I replied, “Well,
since it’s 7:30 a.m., that’s how long the thought took to cross the river to
get to my brain.”
My friend, Melodie, sent me an example of
how difficult the English language is to some.
It read, “English is difficult.
It can be understood though through tough thorough thought.” I replied, “That is true; however, after the ‘though’, there needs to
be a comma because there is a break leading to the next rough troughs of
thought.”
She told me to have a good day. I told her, “I’ve told myself that 20 times
and parts of my body just laugh. They
say, ‘Here, hold my beer.’”
It takes 720 peanuts to make a pound of peanut butter. I figure with all the PBJ sandwiches I’ve
made, I’ve invested in a plantation.
Smiles and blessings for another
month. Trudy :)
