2016 AUGUST “From My Perspective”
I
enjoy watching speed and agility racing with dogs. There is little competition with greyhounds
on speed (fastest dogs on the planet!), but on the agility there are many
contenders. Little and medium sized dogs
seem to prevail in the agility bracket; however, one entry, in the agility of
dogs show I was watching, was an English mastiff. The owner was so enthusiastic and encouraging
to him as he lumbered along at the break neck speed of
“I-don’t-give-a-damn”. When it was all
over, he lay down beside her and took a nap.
‘Made me laugh for a long time.
A synchronous
diaphragmatic flutter is the fancy official name for hiccoughs.
I
saw a t-shirt the other day. It was on a
person I know is a casual stroller lumbering at an impressive speed of super
slow and has obsessive-compulsive issues about constant fishing. It said, “I’m a fitish (kind of fit, but
likes the idea of being fit, but equally likes food), fetish fisher.” I tried to say it 3 times fast.
While
eating lunch with Brenduhh at a local restaurant, a couple with 4 children sat
close to us. The adults (term used very
loosely here) paid no attention to their brood, thus the brood disturbed
everyone around them. Brenduhh called
out to the adults, “I won’t be sorry to call animal control on those kids, if
you don’t tame them right now!!”
Sometimes that girl has a good idea.
I
often tell my children, “I love you to Pluto and back”, because “to the moon
and back” is not far enough. I’ve often
wondered what is farther. Well, I found
it and will be using it, because I love them farther and more than they can
imagine. “Farther
than Pluto. Sedna,
or 2003 VB12, as it was originally designated, is the most distant object yet
found orbiting our Sun. It is three times farther away than Pluto
(average distance to the Sun is 5.9 billion km or 3.6 billion miles).”
This
is a true happening. "I have a wing chair which needs repaired," said
my father to the clerk. "We don't fix chairs with wings because chairs
don't fly," sincerely stated the clerk. My father asked if she could chew
gum and walk simultaneously. She replied, "I'm not allowed to chew gum at
work, and I walk just fine." My father went away shaking his head. I remembered this story when I read, “I’d
like a small strawberry shake, please.”
The order taker replied, “We only have large strawberries, not small
ones. What size do you want for a shake?”
Save
us!!!
I’ve
been watching the genealogy program, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE of famous
people. They haven’t revealed Vincent
van Gogh, but I have a few suggestions.
He has an aunt who is rather dizzy----Ver T. Gogh; a very polite,
unsociable uncle---Please Gogh; and a cousin who ate a lot of prunes---Haveta
Gogh.
While
talking to a friend of mine, he stated, “Ya know, Trudy, having a good heart
can put you in some difficult situations.”
I agreed with him, but gave him this to consider, “Those without a good
heart are in that situation more often and on a continued basis. They can never
feel as good as those with a good heart, hear a sincere ‘Thank you so much’,
see a tear of gratitude, feel a hug of appreciation, or walk a little taller
knowing they have helped someone live better or smile. So, keep that good old
heart YOU have and keep on doing for
others.”
I
found this encouraging message: “Give it
to God….your bills, your health, your career, and your family. Every night go to bed empty so you can wake
up full….full of hope, peace, and favor.”
I gave my bills to God; however, AMEREN ILLINOIS was not impressed and they promised
to turn off my electricity. They said, "Remember, God said, 'Let there be
light' and it will happen if you pay your electricity bill."
I
have reached an age where my mind says, “I can do that”…but my body says, “Try
and die, fat girl.” This was me when I
tried to get up on a chair to kill a spider on the ceiling. My efforts were
rejected by my body, and I was introduced to the floor for further thought
about that silliness. Have you ever
heard a spider laugh?
Don’t
trust everything you see. Even salt
looks like sugar; vodka looks like water; heat waves look like water; and pizza
has 5 of the food groups and can be a full-meal deal.
A
friend of mine has a 7th grade boy.
He had shared with her how his teacher, who is pregnant with her first
child, incorporated math into her pregnant condition. The students got to vote on gender and each
week they predicted how much the baby weighed and how long using standard and
metric measurements. When she asked him if they got to predict and vote on how
much weight the teacher gained each week, he laughed and replied, “Really, Mom?
I want to actually pass 7th grade.”
Be
decisive! Right or wrong, make a
decision. The road of life is paved with
flat squirrels which couldn’t make a
decision.
Brenduhh
came over upset. “Trute, I think I’m
just gonna die from all this I have to deal with. I can’t take much more.” I told her, “I understand. Just remember, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes
you stronger.’” She thought for a
moment, and then made a profound statement, “I’m thinking about bears…bears
will kill you.” Eyes rolled and my lips
were clamped shut.
I
saw a sign the other day. “Free bungee
jumps for Congress. No strings
attached.” YEP!!
It’s
thought that the USA
is the fattest country. HA!!! Mexico has an obesity rate
of 32.8 percent. The good ole US of A is a close second with 31.8 percent of
the population considered obese.
Wow!! One whole point.
Ciao/chow and “vaya con Dios” to you this month! As always, Trudy
