🌹🌹 June 2022
FROM MY PERSPECTIVE
Brenduh came over all excited. She'd been to a town in
the deep South to visit some relatives. She started to talk, but it
wasn't her regular way of talking. I asked, "Brenduh, you sound like
you had a great time; however, your way of talking is different. Did you
pick up the Southern drawl and accent while you were visiting your
relatives?" "I guess I did, Trudy, and I can't seem to go back
to the way I used to talk. Do you have any suggestions?" I
thought for a moment and said, "Well, keep listening to others around here
and it will return. Try real hard because you have so much twang in your
words you sound like a banjo." The scene from DELIVERANCE of the
guitar and banjo challenge came to mind. Some things just trigger a visual and auditory
memory.
I have a friend who does not enjoy cooking. She has
three sons who enjoy eating. She told this: "Mom, I smelled
this really good smell outside, and knew it wasn't coming from our house...but
it was! Are you cooking something that doesn't smell bad?" My kids are
jerks.” Talk about a backhand compliment. She was making
Mississippi pot roast in the slow cooker.
I got a bit irritated at a gal the other day. I was
taught to always try to be a lady when you want to tell someone off. So,
I turned Southern on her with my words. In my nicest Southern accent I
said, "Oh bless your heart. It seems someone shortened your chain
and didn't fill your bowl." Then, I walked away giving her something
to think about. She came at me saying, "You called me a
bit**!" I told her in my continuing Southern accent, "No,
sugah, I wouldn't say that. I just said it seemed your chain had been
shortened and your food bowl was empty. The interpretation is in your
thoughts."
Aint Daisy invited me for lunch with her and to bring my
own. As I approached the porch, I saw
she had some lemonade all ready and had cut some pieces of cherry pie (my
favorite). “Well, hello to you,
Chile. Come set a spell and have lunch
with me. I sat down in the usual white
wicker chair with the fat, floral cushion; she was sitting in her rocker. “I brought my lunch as you mentioned, Aint
Daisy. This is nice to have lunch
together.” She nodded and picked up half
of her sandwich. I noticed another plate
sitting next to hers. It had a half
sandwich on it, and a bite taken out. Of
course my curiosity was raised, and I asked her about it. "Clifford
and I were married almost 51 years, and I made his lunch every working day since
day 1. On occasion I would join him on the job site and have lunch with him. He
made the comment once that lunch tasted better when you share it with someone
you love. Soon after that, while fixing
his sandwich one night, I took a bite out of it before putting it away in his
lunch box. When he got home, he commented that someone took a bite out of his
sandwich. I told him that since I couldn't join him for lunch, I took a bite so
he knew I was joining him. I continued to do this frequently (unless it was
tuna). He always said after that, ‘Saw you joined me for lunch today, and it
sure was good.’ So, since he’s been gone to Heaven, I always make an extra half
a sandwich and take a bite out of it. I
share my lunch with someone I love. It’s
important.” ‘More wisdom from The Lady
of the Holler.
Here are some interesting, but questionable, messages on product boxes:
Pizza box: open box before eating pizza Curling iron box: use appliance only on hair and no other part of the body Soap pods in a box: Keep away from children, teenagers, and college fraternity members Child's shirt: to launder, remove shirt from child. Put shirt to washer in cool water and soap Dish washing liquid soap: bottle may contain slippery, bubbly liquid compound Package of b-b pellets: Do NOT eat!! Non-edible. Do not swallow or taste. Label on a shirt: Wash this when dirty Pet shampoo label: Remember to close all escape routes well in advance before pet is wet and soapy. They suddenly get smarter and faster than you. Label on towels: Can be washed by both men and women On a fold-away bed: Before folding bed to put away, make sure no one is on the bed. On super glue stick: Do NOT use as a lip balm. Shaving cream in a tube: This is NOT toothpaste. I repeat---THIS IS NOT TOOTHPASTE Label on a Southern pecan pie: Instructions are printed in English. If you can’t read English, don’t read the instructions. Actual label on a pill bottle: EVERY NIGHT BEFORE FOOD ONCE DAILY TO BE TAKEN FOUR TIMES A DAY THREE TIMES A DAY EVERY THREE TIMES DAILY TAKE ONE TAKE TWO TAKE THREE ONE OR TWO. Warning: follow the printed instructions you have been given with this medicine.
Now,
here comes the touching part to this label:
My wonderful daughter had worked in the pharmacy of a facility. I sent her a message note stating: “Since you worked in pharmaceuticals” with me
thinking she’d see the humor in it. I
got a message in return of, “You need to call your pharmacy and ask for
those directions again. VERY CONFUSING!!
I’m thinking it’s---take 1 tab 4 times a day for 1 day...three times a
day for 1 day... like that, but call the pharmacy asap!!!!!!!” Then, she calls me and with great concern
says, “Mom, are you all right? Where did
you get this medicine and, oh gods, you haven’t taken any, yet, have you?” I told her I was writing in my June column
and the topic was ‘Actual product labels’, and this was one of them. I’m so sorry I gave you so much concern.” Talk about being blessed by a child, she
truly does bless me.
An angel was showing a new angel around the farming sector
of Heaven. There was a barn, a pond, and an outhouse. He told the
new angel, as he pointed to the barn, "We keep the holy cow in here."
Then, he pointed to the pond and said, "We keep the holy mackerel in
there." Then, he pointed to the outhouse and said, "I don't
suppose I need to tell you what we keep in there."
I’ve reached an age where my mind says, “Oh, I can do
that.” Then, my body says, “Really? Try it and you’ll be sorry, and I won’t hold
your beer, either.”
While you’re reading this, did you realize this is the
oldest you’ve been and the youngest you’ll ever be again? And did you know that every day you think
about history? Such as: “I remember when I was a teen and……”, “Just
yesterday I was thinking about making a pie.”
“The weather was so unpredictable in March.” See, each thought about a time before right
now is considered HISTORY. You’re
welcome.
Children
do not always believe our warnings as parents, especially when shopping.
I have always told my children, “Stay with me, do not stray, tell me if you
want to go look at something because I will keep on walking and perhaps leave
without you.” Sure enough, someone didn’t believe me. As I was
exiting the doors, over the loud speaker came, “If Trudy R. is still in the
store, please come to the service desk and get your charming child who has
eaten ½ a chocolate cake and is very messy. Please hurry.” I
strolled to the service desk. My look was ominous, so was the customer
service representative’s.
PAREIDOLIA: Seeing images in objects, such as clouds, cut
wood, random tile, etc. It is a
sign of a very imaginative and creative mind.
There are books with pictures of this.
Peace, comfort, and hugs. Trudy J
