2021 June FROM MY PERSPECTIVE
“Youth lasts much longer than young people think.” I came across this statement and thought,
“What a good double entendre.” If you
deal with youth, you know how immediate the thinking is---immediate
gratification, immediate results, immediate time, and so on. There is little thought to the future. In fact, I see it with young adults anymore. I know someone who has a daughter. She is always telling her mother to live for
now because the future isn’t promised.
Well, she lived for now, spent as much money as she earned on what she
wanted and enjoyed the immediate gratification.
Suddenly, her high-paying job was gone and she had to accept one which
was much less in salary. Sounds like the
grasshopper and the ant fable.
Years ago, I went to substitute one day leaving Guy, my
beloved, home alone where it was very quiet.
He said he went to cardiac rehab, got some groceries, and read. I noticed he hadn’t done the dishes or tidied
up the house as I’d asked. “How’d you do
at rehab, today?” I inquired. “Pretty
good; 70%,” he said proudly. “Did you
get a nap?” I asked. “Yes, a 20 minute
one,” he responded. “Oh, that’s
nice. How many times?” I slyly asked. “I lost count!” he scowled. He knew he’d not fooled me.
Have you ever noticed when someone says, “Just a minute” they aren’t standing at the
closed bathroom door needing to get in?
Have you ever wondered if someone could really “be there in a jiffy”? It
is an actual measurement of time; 1/100th of a second is all it
takes. Have you ever hated hearing “Oh
no!” after your dentist has drilled for a short time? Strikes fear into the heart of the boldest,
doesn’t it? Have you ever thought, “I
could do that better” as you watched someone do something you have a minuscule
bit of knowledge about, and then be asked to take over? Some things are best left unthought-of.
One of mine was dawdling getting dressed for school. Breakfast still had to be eaten, teeth
brushed, and school gear gathered before the bus came. I mentioned all this to the dawdler. Silence.
I mentioned it again. Silence and
a sniff. “Answer me, please! Are you about ready?” I firmly questioned. Then came the wail, “My socks are being a
problem!!” I went in to see the problem. “How can your identical socks be a
problem?” “They are on the wrong feet,”
wailed the dawdler. I had to hang onto
the door knob.
Some things a bout with shingles have taught me: I can gain weight faster than they heal;
there really is a thing called “phantom itching”----hello scratching air!; the
left side of my head is numb----am I considered a numb skull?; a wild hair day
is more than one day and I now consider it a fashion statement; my vocal,
unfiltered daughter told me I look like Freddy Kreuger------her name is in
pencil in my will, now; I have involuntary naps throughout the day…I like to
choose my nap times; my doctor told me, “It may take over three weeks to
heal”….he needs a new calendar and time reference, and forget about the word “may”;
I do not like my patience tested anymore.
My friend, Shelli, told me, “A very nice police officer just stopped to say, ‘Hello’.” I asked her why. She told me, “88 in a 65 zone.” I told her, “Well, ‘Hello’ ticket master!”
It seems there are some telephone scammers calling people
trying to get their bank account numbers and social security numbers. If
this happens to you, you can either hang up or have some fun at their
expense. Here is what fun I usually have: I tell them I can not understand their
accent, so they are to spell every word they say to me and if they misspell a
word they have to start over. They usually hang up and I roar with laughter.
Or, I'll tell them I have a sophisticated GPS system on my phone and I know
exactly where they are and am sending a few of my people to have a chat with
them...they may be delivering food or be service utility people. Or, I talk to
them about diarrhea and incontinence or throwing up complete with sound
effects. Oh, I have a lot of fun.
She who laughs-----------lasts. Scientifically proven. Laughing encourages the body to relax; boosts
the immune system; triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural
feel-good chemicals; protects the heart; burns calories, and lightens anger’s
heavy load. Going for the snort is even
better!!
The South has some endearing terms. I use them from time to time. “Bless
your heart”—I really mean it. But,
there are times I say it so I won’t say what I really think of the person. “Quit chyer
bein’ ugly”---it’s about behavior, not physical appearance. It seems rightly so because when a person
acts ugly, they ARE ugly in appearance. People
from the South tell of “carrying a
person somewhere”---I like this one because, to me, when you carry someone
somewhere you, also, are offering to help carry their burden(s) momentarily; it
gives a peaceful feeling to me. “Cain’t never could”----a positive
thinking in southern style. You won’t
accomplish much if you always say or think you can’t do something. Be positive and give it a try and you might
find out you could do it after all.
“Can’t never could do nothing!” “Make your mama proud” ---well that
speaks for itself, in my opinion.
My friend, Mary, took a driver’s ed class
with two nuns one summer. She’s not the
most accomplished driver, yet. She was
telling me about her experience driving in heavy traffic with the two nuns in
the back seat. “They kept saying ‘Oh
Hail Mary’ over and over; I guess they were saying their rosaries. I wasn’t doing that badly and got out of the
way of 3 semis in time.” I’ve ridden
with her as she would practiced her driving skills. So, I know how she drives. “Honey, I don’t think they were saying their
Hail Marys. I think it was more, “Oh
HELL, Mary”; I’ve ridden with you a few times,” I chuckled.
I found this
old time remedy for removing
freckles from your face. It says, “Rub a
live frog over your face.” Hmm, in some
cases that could be considered cruelty to animals.
Aint Daisy was rocking in her favorite rocking chair on the porch. She had a glass of sweet tea beside her and a slice of her delicious cherry pie. “Hi, Aint Daisy. It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?” She smiled and invited me to “set a spell” and chat. “Chile, you look a bit troubled. What’s going on with you?” she asked. “I’m angry at me because I should have known better about something I said to another. I apologized, but I don’t feel it was enough,” I lamented. “Honey, we all have a misspoken word fall out of our mouth. It’s good you apologized. It will not go unnoticed. About being angry with yourself…..well, that’s the worst person in the world to be angry with. You can NOT get away from you at all, now can ya.” Another wise statement from the lady of the holler.
