2017 August FROM MY
PERSPECTIVE
Brenduhh came over for some cold tea; it was a beastly hot
day. She wore as little as possible which would pass as legal. She
was hanging pictures in her house and kept missing the wooden boards behind the
plaster leaving holes in it. She didn't know what to do and asked me my
suggestion. I told her, "Go to the hardware store and ask for a stud
finder. This tool will help you a lot." She thanked me and
went on her merry way. Later she returned with some perplexity.
"Trudy, I went into the hardware store and asked the 2 male assistants
where I could locate some stud finders. I don't know why they took so
long answering me, smirked, sputtered in their reply, and tripped over
themselves trying to walk down the aisle." I asked her, "Did
you go wearing what you have on now?" She said she had. I
asked her if she got the stud finder tool. She said she had, but one of
the fellas asked her if she wanted him to come over to help her since she'd
located a stud finder; she couldn't understand why he had asked
that. She, also, told me she’d
told them, “I have a screw loose, too.”
I just rolled my eyes.
I had an opportunity to verbally annihilate someone who
would have deserved every syllable I would have said to them, had I returned
the verbal volley. Instead, I chose to
be totally silent with my response. I
quickly thought of how they could misquote me and accuse me of saying something
threatening. An opponent really can’t
misquote a response of silence. It
really is a formidable weapon. I shared
this happening with a friend. She
jokingly said, “They did say something more offensive than that they hate to
eat bacon, didn’t they?” I told her, “Oh
yes. Bacon wasn’t even mentioned. I did think of them in the original package,
though.”
My Beloved was having difficulty getting up from his easy
chair. He had a few choice words as he
struggled. I said something he didn’t
like and the “intense fellowship” was on.
When the mood cooled, I suggested we go shopping for one which is called
“A Lifting Chair.” He liked that idea
and went with me. We looked at many and
finally found one which fit his 6’5”, 350 pound size. He was very pleased. The sales person mentioned it was
electrical. “Oh, so it’s an electric
chair,” I commented and shot Beloved a look.
For some reason Beloved growled, “Wipe that smirk off your face,
Tootsie.” I couldn’t stop laughing.
A single strand of spaghetti is called spaghetto. I didn't know this, but then, again, who eats
a single strand of spaghetti? “Not I,”
said the spaghetti slucker.
Shadow owes its birth to light. -John Gay, poet and
dramatist (30 Jun 1685-1732)
Thanks to my dear friend, Melodie, for this morsel of
fact…..”A “Buttload” is an actual measurement of volume - Equal to 126
gallons.” I have seen examples of larger
and smaller volumes of this. I won’t say
which category I fall into, though.
Have you ever missed someone so much you feel the missing
envelops you, squeezes you so tightly that your eyes “run”? That’s one of the dues one pays for caring
and loving another. “If you miss them,
it means you were lucky; lucky enough to have had someone special in your life,
someone worth missing.”
LITTLE TIDBITS:
Hypnagogia is the state in between being awake and asleep. Many blood sucking insects with governmental
affiliation are called “poly-tics”.
“Who you are is not as important as what you
are.”
You know it is time to get back to the gym when...
1. You try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts refuse to
leave the floor. 2. Your children look through your wedding album and
want to know who mom's first husband was. 3. You get winded just saying
the words "10 kilometer run". 4. You analyze your body honestly
and decide what you should develop first is your sense of humor. 5. You
step on a talking scale and it says, "Come back when you are
alone". 6. Your doctor doesn’t find it funny when he
tells you you’re out of shape and you tell him, “Round is a shape. I am round.”
6. The staff at Ben and Jerry’s
has named an ice cream after you. 7. You go to Dairy Queen and they know your
order before you give it.
Have you ever just waved at someone you didn’t know just to
wave at them? I have because I know
they’re going to spend the rest of the day trying to think how they know
me. ‘Makes me laugh every time.
I was looking in the phone book for a list of
“podiatrists.” The next specialty entry
was “proctologists.” How interesting the
correlation of the placement of the two.
I saw a sign the other day.
It showed the sun shining brightly, a dog in a car and the windows were
rolled up. The sign said, “FRIENDS DON’T
MAKE FRIENDS WAIT IN HOT CARS.” I wish
I’d had this sign a few summers ago when I saw a little dog locked in a car
with the windows down only a crack. It
was parked in front of the library I was going to enter. I asked the desk attendant if she knew who had
a car with the license of IMSTUPD. She did not.
Around the stack of shelves came a woman who claimed the vehicle. I told her it was very hot outside and her
dog was clawing at the windows to get out.
She told me she’d only been in here a minute and I needed to mind my own
business. I told her our conversation
had lasted more than a minute, and she was being cruel to her dog. I let her know how quickly the interior of a
vehicle can heat up in the hotter-than-Hades weather we were having. She got all nasty with me, fool that she
was. Little did she know I had a friend
on the police force who was on duty and parked 5 cars from mine. I went out, went to them and told them about
the cruelty to the animal. When she came
out, my friend was beside her car writing a ticket. I asked my friend how much the ticket was for
on that misdemeanor. “Here in Illinois
it can be from $75 to $2500 and a month to 1 year incarcerated. The clincher is the judge she will have to
talk with. He is an animal lover, on the
local board of directors of the animal shelter, and VERY opposed to leaving
animals in cars on hot days. The $75
will be the least of her worries.” I
smiled.
Brenduhh came over a bit irritated. I asked her what the problem was. “Well, Elma told me she didn’t think I was
very smart.” “Why would she say that to
you?” I enquired. “She asked me if I
could spell Mississippi. I asked her
which one was she wanting----the river or the state.” Sometimes biting your tongue is a good
thing.
Another day she came over to play SCATTERGORIES, a game I
just love to play. I have a weekly “game
day” with my friends, Dianna, Marva, and Kathy.
Kathy wasn’t able to be with us, so we invited Brenduhh. We explained the game to her and she said she
understood how to play it. One of the
categories for the 3rd. game was “About the Bible”; the word(s) for
the category had to start with “E”. We
said our answers; Marva….”Ecclesiastes”; Dianna…..”Exodus”; me……”Ephesians”;
and Brenduhh……”Ruthie”. Eyes rolled and
Brenduhh was questioned, “Why did you put ‘Ruthie’ when the word or words had
to begin with ‘E’?” Brenduhh thought
then said, “Well, Ruthie has an ‘E’ in it; so, why not?” We tried to explain, but it was futile. We moved on to game #4 with another 12
categories.
When you sweat, your brain shrinks. When you drink your
brain grows. So, if you’re called “a
fathead”, there is an element of truth and this explains a lot.
I took a class on-line about how to read maps backwards; it
was nothing but spam.
I have found a new word to love. Here it is and broken down for you: Zenzizenzizenzizenzike or
zenzi * zenzi * zenzi *zenzik *e. It means:
Square of Squares Squaredly Squared
If a concern is too small to be turned into a prayer, it is
too small to be a burden.
“When your day’s not been a bed of roses, remember who wore
the thorns.” Profound, very profound.
Smiles and blessings to you for another month. Trudy J
