2019 September
FROM MY PERSPECTIVE
I have a friend
who both she and her husband are teachers.
They are both very intelligent and complement each other’s
personalities. Here are some quips
between them:
Sean and I pull back the sheets to get into bed at midnight.Sean: okay Kaylie, PLEASE don’t ask me a deep life-altering question right now. I have football in the morning.
... how did he know?
Me: Honey, I think we’re pretty perfect for each other.
Sean: I agree. Why do you say that?
Me: well, you’re laid back, I’m laid back...
*silence*
Me: I am, right?
*still silence*
Driving to the park and there is a tight spot against the curb.
Sean: OH NO!
Me: What?!?! What’s wrong??
Sean: YOU parallel parking!!!
Me: WHAT?!? I can totally do this.
Sean: Here we go... longest, most painful 5 minutes of my life...
I was talking to my daughter, Della, about foods and what to do with them. I heard her say, “I’ve been training spaghetti.” I said, “What???? You’ve been training spaghetti?! How do you do that??” She laughed and told me, “I said, ‘I’ve been craving spaghetti.’” Some times I hear statement completely different than what’s been said. I know some of you can identify.
I get stupid calls from numbers I don't recognize. Today I decided I'd answer the 4 calls from the same number. Each time I said, "I'm digging the hole as fast as I can. When are you going to be here? This body stinks!!" On the fourth call I asked who the person was. He said, "I'm the claims adjuster for your insurance company calling to give you info that the check for towing your vehicle is in the mail." I said, "Thank you. Are you still going to be coming over to help me with this smelly body?" He screamed with laughter and said, "I have NEVER had such a fun time with a client about a claims check as I've had with you. You've made my day." I'm so glad my sense of humor is that insane.
Years ago when one of my children was young, they overheard me talking about money and how difficult it was at that time to pay for some things. I was checking out from a store and was distracted by that child. I handed the cashier the amount of money I was told. She kindly said, “M’am, I will accept the $5 legal tender of money you gave me, but the $20 in MONOPOLY money can’t be accepted.” I handed her a legal $20 bill. When we got to the car, I asked the child how the MONOPOLY money got into my wallet. Innocently they said, “I was trying to help you pay for the things we wanted.” I told them I appreciated their desire to help, but it would be a good idea not to put MONOPOLY money in my wallet anymore. I’m sure the transaction will be memorable to that cashier.
I was watching a movie at home. It had a quasi-interesting plot, but the frequent nudity overrode the story line. I watched the credits because the music was nice. It got to “costume designer”. I immediately wondered, “Where is the validation of THAT job on this movie?”
Did you know the word SWIMS is the same upside down and backwards? I know you’ve turned your head to check it. Which letter is silent in the word “SCENT”…the S or the C? Do babies who are of multiple birth ever realize that only one of them was planned? How can you clean something without making something else dirty? Ducks can swim in water, fly in air, and walk on land. They have access to all terrains. They are the ultimate animal. I guess that’s where the saying, “Lucky duck” comes from. Your belly button is your former mouth (think about it). When you carry your own water, you appreciate the effort more. Knowledge is knowing you can carry all the groceries at once; wisdom is making multiple trips because you know you’ll have to put one armful/handful of them down to open the door. Your voice in your head is always the same volume, nor does it need to take a breath. Did you know that we can take a solid into our body, turn it into a liquid, which can turn into a gas and can wipe out an entire elevator in one motion?
I was talking with someone recently. The subject wasn’t really deep or involved. In fact, it was just a surface, superficial topic. Well, this person took it to another level which was totally irrelevant to anything remotely associated with the topic. I walked away shaking my head and knowing for sure they had the intelligence of a crayon and not a real bright one, either……perhaps dull grey.
From the mouth of Ner: Ner’s mother to Connor/Ner: your hair is so soft. Ner states so proudly: yep! I put air conditioner in it!!
A friend of mine posted: "Can I order a replacement body please? This one is constantly malfunctioning." She has made me laugh when I didn't feel like it, given me support when I felt weak, and just was there with nothing but her glowing presence and energy when all seemed dark. I responded to her post with: "Well, there is a nano-amount of humor in it, but gods of Friday, why would you want your brain replaced which is where your fabulous, wonderful sense of humor runs around? Come to think of it, if your body was replaced, you wouldn't be you, and I really like you and probably wouldn't like the you you'd be if you could replace all the yous in you." Her response was a laughing face. Figures, since she's about the only one who totally got what I was saying.
Brenduhh came over all upset. She told me she couldn’t get into her car because it was locked and the keys were in it. I went out to see how I could help her. I reached in and unlocked the door. The top was down on her convertible and the windows weren’t rolled up. She was amazed at my skills; I shook my head.
