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I was walking one afternoon and passed an elementary school
yard. I watched the kids playing on all the equipment provided.
But, there was one piece which stood alone and empty. It was a
metal merry-go-round with inverted u-shaped bars and spaces between those bars
to enter and sit down on the spinning fun machine. One of the children,
who knew me, saw me and came over to the fence. I asked him why the
merry-go-round was empty and not being used. "Oh, we don't go near
it because it spins too fast, we get sick to our stomach and so dizzy, and
sometimes it throws us off onto the grass." I replied with,
"Oh, interesting." As I walked away, I remembered the times I
rode on that thing, got thrown off, got dizzy, jumped up and waited to ride it
again. I believe that is one of the reasons my generation is tougher than
the ones now.
Every now and then I have a former student contact me with a question. It usually leads to a discussion with enlightenment on both parts. Here is one I had with Bill about common sense.
BILL: What
happened to common sense conversation? In the past we were allowed to disagree
with people. Now, you can't disagree about anything political or not. How do I
deal with people that are against conversation? And, I typically avoid politics
if possible. You've always had common sense, so I thought I would ask you. ME: Well, as you are finding out, COMMON
SENSE just isn't so common. In today's society, so many want to be
"politically correct", have become so sensitive that a regular
conversation which we'd had in the past is basically obsolete. Everyone has an opinion, which is fine, but
too many have become zealots and try to ram theirs down another's throat. BILL: But, is that expected to be our new “normal”? ME: It’s a defensive age and the “new normal” is
looming. BILL: A lot of people are willing to die on a hill
to become a damn martyr. ME: “NORMAL” is an ambiguous word, to me. I have two children who, years ago, would be
considered “not normal”. Well, with all
my knowledge and experience, they are smarter than some who are considered
normal. If you think about it, Bill,
what IS normal? Everyone has an area of
challenge; some just have a bit more. Yes,
some people are determined to have 10 seconds of fame hoping it will
expand. I just call them “FOOLS”. BILL: I think everyone has something to offer to
others whether they are “challenged” or “normal”. But, there is a lot of attacking on the part
of the enemy, and some of this crap makes me want to get mean. ME: I understand.
There was a teacher at EPCHS when I was there, who made a statement
about the very challenged special needs kids who were leaving their classroom
as we stood in the hall. He said, “They shouldn’t be at EPCHS; they should be in
an institution with the other abnormal people.”
I about went ballistic on him. I
told him, “There, but for the grace of God, goes one of your children or
grandchildren. I have adopted two
children who are challenged; they are my grandchildren. They are smarter than YOU because they are
accepting of people who are not as challenged as they. YOU ARE A FOOL, in my opinion!!” And, with that I walked away. You do not have to get mean to defend an
opinion. You will be the fool if you
do. FIRM is accepted and not degrading
to you, but being mean is. As I said,
the intolerance of a person toward another and their challenge is worse than
the challenge of that target or targeted one.
In essence, the criticizer is the one with the problem and a big
handicap, not the criticized, challenged one. BILL: I knew there was a reason I asked you!
I was texting to my daughter about making ground chicken and
ground turkey blend of meat patties for supper.
I called it “turken”. When I
looked at what was printed that I’d sent, the “turken” had been changed to
“turkey”. I hate it when my made-up word
gets misspelled.
Brenduhh had a question/statement for me. “What rhymes with ORANGE?” Me: “No, it doesn’t.” Brenduhh: “What does!”
Me: “No, it doesn’t.” Frustrated she asks, “What word rhymes with ORANGE, smarty
pants?!” Me: “Actually, there is no
word which rhymes with ORANGE or SILVER, for that matter. Did I ever tell you about the dialogue
between Abbott and Costello called, ‘Who’s on First’?” Brenduhh: “Arrrggghh! You know too much!” Me: “Hmmm.”
People treat you exactly how they feel about you. It may not initially appear, but it is
revealed as time goes on in your relationship.
Does it feel to be a duty or a want to be with you? Is the smile forced or comes automatically
when you are seen? There are other
clues; you just have to look for them.
As I approached Aint Daisy’s house in the late morning, I
noticed the porch floor had been refreshed with new paint and all sizes of
footprints painted all over it. Each
footprint had a name on it. “Good
morning, Aint Daisy. How are you this
fine day? I see the porch floor has been
enhanced with footprints painted on it.
That’s a unique presentation. Who
are all the names, though?” I asked
her. She smiled and had a twinkle in her
eye. “I’m a-doin’ jess fine, chile.
About those footprints with names on ‘em, whall each footprint reminds
me o’ someone who done brought a smile t’ me.
I believe ya need t’ leave footprints o’ love and kindness wherevah ye
go. So’s, there’s some o’ those who’s
a-done jess that.” There’s more wisdom
from the Lady of the Holler.
“Creativity is intelligence having fun.” Albert Einstein”
Be humble and never think you are better than anyone else…
‘for dust you are, and unto dust you shall return.’ That’s why I have a strong
hesitancy to vacuum-up dust bunnies.
Gods!! It may be someone I know!
As I’ve lived and discovered, there IS a difference between
being kind and trying to please people.
Some of you have probably discovered, there are some people who just can
not be pleased, no matter what you try to do. I saw some examples of not really
being kind, just trying to please people.
Here are some: *Repeatedly forgiving people who refuse to
change; *Not expressing your feelings when you’re upset; *Taking on more than
you can handle even when you’re very tired; *Not standing up for yourself when
people are disrespectful to you; *Being a crutch for others when you’re burned
out; *Being everyone’s support system but your own; *Saying “yes” to things and
regretting it later; *Going along with things you are not happy about or which
go against your standards just to avoid creating friction.
As a teacher, I’ve dealt with a lot of different
personalities of kids. There have been
really smart kids all the way through not-so-smart. Some have been very unique; and some have
been common, ordinary, down-to-earth. I
was listening to some teachers talk about some of my students whom they, also,
had. The remarks were not very
kind---they were ridiculing of the uniqueness and not-so-smart traits and the
shy ones. I’d had all I could listen to
and decided I’d mention something they all had which is more important and
trumps the idiosyncrasies of them, in my opinion and experience. I said, “Y’all have talked about some of the
same students I have. You have ridiculed
their uniqueness and individuality. What
they all have in common which is the most important is, not a single one of them
is mean---they are all kind. THAT is what is important!!” With that all said, I left the group shaking
my head in disgust. So, if you have
children or know children who are unique, smart, not-so-smart, creative, shy,
quiet, weird, clownish, theatrical, a chatter box, or adventurous appreciate
the trait(s) they have, but most of all, appreciate that they aren’t mean.
There are many famous lines from movies I’ve seen which
stick in my mind and I use, when the time is right. Here are a few: “If I am to be insulted, I must first value
your opinion.” –Doc Holliday, Tombstone.
“Bah da bing, bah da boom.” --Godfather 1972. “I am under no obligation to make sense to
you.”—Alice in Wonderland 2010. “I’m
your huckleberry.” ---Doc Holliday, Tombstone.
“Leave the gun, take the cannoli.” ---Godfather 1972. “A very merry unbirthday to you!”---Alice in
Wonderland 1951. I’m sure you have some which are your favorites. Enjoy the memories.
May the sunset of the evening remind you of the blessings of the day and hopes for tomorrow.
Always, Trudy J
