🏊 2024 August FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

 

As life goes on, we all find there are trials and tribulations.  We question why? and question if we are going to get through them.  Oh my, I’ve had my share, and sometimes think I’m being included in another’s.  Then I remember a Bible verse which is so true----Ephesians 3:20----“There will always be trials and tribulations in life, but God will carry you through every storm in your life.  He will give you strength to make it.” 

I saw this post and believed it was intended for me, too:  “Today I learned that ostriches often walk around and then forget where they are going.  Today, I, also learned that my spirit animal may be an ostrich!”  My mother told me one day, “Any more, I have to say all the way down the steps what I’m going down to the basement to get a can of something for.”  I thought, at the time, it was kind of silly.  Of course, I was in my 30s at that time.  Now, I’m 79 and find her statement rings so true every time I go down stairs to the larder to get something from the food shelves or little refrigerator.  I don’t tell my kids about it, though.  I don’t want them to think I’m silly- minded.

Unconditional love is NOT unconditional tolerance.  Boy, that is for sure.  I’ve had one of mine tell me they didn’t think I had unconditional love for them.  I told them I did, but I wouldn’t tolerate their sassiness which borders on disrespect.  That gave them something to think about.

Aint Daisy was busy in her kitchen when I knocked on the screen door.  “Come on in, chile.  I see ye there.  I’ve made some pies and am takin’ ‘em outta the oven.  I think there’s a cherry one, too, fer ye to take home,” she said with a little grin.  She knows cherry pie is my favorite.  “Jess set yerself down on that chair and chat a while with me.  I’ll fix some tea, and there’s a few cinnamon rolls over yonder.  So, get ‘em an’ two plates and forks.  We’ll have a snack.”  I did as she suggested, sat down, and drooled at the thought of her deliciousness about to come to my soul.  “So, what brings ye here t’day, chile?” she asked with a smile on her face.  “Oh, I’ve been mentally wrestling with something which just doesn’t seem to get solved.  Dang Aint Daisy, it just keeps coming back stressing me each time.  So, I thought I’d talk the issue over with someone I know will understand.”  I told her of the reoccurring issue.  She listened intently, as she always does.  “Ye know, chile, this issue jess seems to be a-wantin’ to teach you something.  There is always another way t’ solve a problem, even when it keeps a-comin’ back,” she wisely said.  “Oh shoot, looky there, it’s rainin’ again.  Well, I’ll jess sit and wait for somethin’ to be lovely about the rain.”  I wondered what she was meaning, so I asked her.  “Whall, I’ve learnt that it takes the rain to have an’ see a rainbow.  Don’tcha think that’s sorta what’s a-happenin’ with yer repeating issue?  Look for the rainbow, sweet thang, always look for the rainbow.”  I couldn’t help the moisture which ran from my eyes; she is always so on point with her wisdom.  ‘More of it, from my Lady of the Holler, was given to me.

Brenduhh came over all in a huff.  "I want to talk to you about what the principal at Mac's school said to me!"  she blustered.  "Alright.  Tell me.  It seems you're pretty upset about it," I encouraged.  "Well!!!!  I got a phone call from Mr. Peeps just a bit ago.  He told me, 'Mac is causing a problem at school.  He talks too much, and is contrary about doing what he's asked.'  I listened then told him my thoughts," she said.  "O.K., what thoughts did you tell Mr. Peeps?" I asked.  "I told him, 'He does the same thing here at home.  Do I call you about it?' What do you think, Trute?"  I replied, "Hmmm, you do have a valid point, but I don't think that was the answer he was hoping to get.  How about some tea and a muffin?"  Thank goodness she didn't notice my eyes rolling.

I've been wondering, if there is a highway to hell, are there speed bumps, yield signs, road blocks, speed limits, and/or traffic jams?

There are days I feel I'm riding through life full-steam ahead----well, as much steam as I can muster.  The mind is quick and the body just laughs at my thoughts of running, jogging, or sometimes even moving a lot.  My mind is a sadist.

I’ve mentioned phobias in another column.  Some are rational and some are not.  This one made me chuckle.

ANATIDAEPHOBIA (a-na-t-die-phobia) is the fear of a duck watching you.  It’s not quackery, either.

Here is some strong advice:  If you’re buying a watch on Amazon and it says, “You can swim with it on”, make sure you have known how to swim before you ever wore it.  This sounds like something Brenduhh would do.

Dogs and young children are pretty good assessors of a human’s intent and/or aura.  Don’t worry if other humans don’t like you; be concerned if a dog or young child doesn’t like you.  Children will cry or retreat; dogs have teeth they will use in a flash.  Hmm, come to think of it, I’ve seen a child bite an adult for no apparent reason.  Soooo, be cautious around both.

Toxic people “play games” and usually not fairly.  To win dealing with these “creatures”, just don’t play their game.  Silence and a strong stare are such strong opponents and can give a message to the most determined.

The color blue is relatively uncommon in fruits and vegetables because there are few natural pigments that produce a blue hue in plant tissues.  There are blue carrots and potatoes (but they didn’t come naturally), though, and of course, blueberries.  Red cabbage can turn blue when it is mixed with an acid or a base. The pigment turns red in acidic environments with a pH less than 7 and the pigment turns bluish-green in alkaline (basic), environments with a pH greater than 7.

I was having “words” with one of our cats.  She always thinks running in front of me will get her what she wants.  She has beautiful dark fur which is difficult to see her sometimes.  Recently she ran in front of me, again for the quadruple-illonth time.  I almost tripped over her.  I snarled, “O.K., Miss Flulffy Butt!!!  Do you really want to take me on?  I’m so much bigger than you and would flatten you with one fall.  She looked at me, did a back flip, raised her back hair, showed me her fangs, spread and waved her “murder mittens with daggars”.  I growled back, “Hmmm, you DO have a cautious idea.  Soooo, I’m calling a truce.”  She licked her paw and strolled away as if to say, “One for the fluffy butt, zip for the human……again.”

I was talking with my dear friend, Melodie, in FL.  We were comparing the weather between IL and FL.  She said, “I’m thinking about going to the ranch today, but it depends on the heat.  The humidity here is just awful.”  I said, “I remember when I visited you in July years ago.  I could hardly breathe outside.”  She told me it was even worse now.  I said, “Gods, I remember when climate change was summer, fall, winter, and spring.  Now it seems like there are half season, but, of course, FL has HOT, HOTTER, and OH HELL.  Then there is HOT, WET BLANKET ON YOUR FACE season.”  She laughed and mentioned “boob sweat” which I replied, “That’s called ‘humiditties’.”   She laughed again and told me her coffee was all over her desk.

When my husband let his nefarious sister put her stuff, which we questioned where it all came from, in our garage as their mother looked on, I said, "Load all that back in the truck. It's not going to be stored here." Their mother said, "NO!! Half this house is my son’s!"  I told her, "You're correct-----the floors are mine and the ceilings are his. Get the stuff off MY HALF!!!" Truck got loaded.

My friend was having a rough day and told me she thought she'd lose her mind.  I told her, "Remember, Moses was once a basket case."  She laughed, which broke her tension.  Then, while she was chuckling, I told her, "If God can light a bug's butt, imagine what He can do for you."  She had to hold on to the table so she'd not fall over.  I'm so glad there were a few moments of levity for her.

What do you call the wife of a hippie?  Mississ Hippie.

Brenduhh asked me if I thought she was smart.  I told her, “Wisdom has always been chasing you, BUT you were faster, girl.”

Peace and smiles for another month.  Trudy 👀

🎆 2024 July FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

Triskaidekaphobia (tris-ky-dek-uh-FO-be-uh) noun Fear of the number 13.  [from Greek treiskaideka (thirteen), from treis (three) +kai (and) + deka (ten) + phobia (fear).]   I’ve always liked the sound of this word and the way it feels on my tongue as I say it.  It’s something about the flowing of the Tr, Sk, and K sounds that makes me feel like my fore-tongue and back-tongue are skipping in my mouth.  Hmm, that reason almost sounds like something Calvin would say to Hobbes.  I love that cartoon panel, and the philosophy of both of them.  I found another word and tongue-stumbled over it a few times before I got it correctly said.  It takes a bit of thinking and planning when you start to pronounce it.  Do not be discouraged, it will trip off your tongue like peanut butter!  Perspicaciousness (puhr-spi-KAY-shuhs-nes) noun.  Keeness of perception and discernment.  [From Latin perspicere (to see through), from per- (through) + -spicere, combining form of specere (to look).  Ultimately from the Indo-European root spek- (to observe), which is also the ancestor of such words as:  suspect, spectrum, bishop (literally an overseer), espionage, despise, telescope, spectator, speculum, and spectacles.

A young engineer was leaving the office at 5:45 p.m.  He found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.  “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary is not here.  Can you make this thing work?”  “Certainly, “said the young engineer.  He turned on the machine, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.  “Excellent, excellent!!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.  “I just need one copy, thank you,” he said. The lesson here is:  Never, never, ever assume that your boss knows what they’re doing.

"The reason the plural of GOOSE is GEESE, but the plural of moose is not meese is because goose derives from an ancient Germanic word undergoing strong declension (the changing in the form of the word), in the patter of foot/feet and tooth/teeth, where in oo is mutated to ee.  However, 'moose' is a Native American word added to the English lexicon only some 400 years ago, and lacks the etymological reason to be pluralized in that way."  Alrighty then!!  So, is the plural of PAPOOSE, papeese or papooses?  And, if the plural of HOUSE is HOUSES, why isn't the plural of MOUSE mouses?  I wonder about these things, y'all.

Life can be a bit unfair at times.  I recently was talking to a professional trying to sort out some issues and move on.  The professional told me, "When times seem too tough to deal with, take a step back and look at the situation."  I told them I'd done that, but still felt a bit defeated.  Then, they said, "Well, when you feel defeated, but want to conquer that, take a step forward."  I thought for a moment and said, "So, to sum up your advice:  when feeling defeated take a step back; when wanting to conquer it, take a step forward.  Alrighty then!!!  Seems I'm doing the cha-cha and when in doubt just DANCE!!"  The person told me they thought I was going to be all right.

I was reading an article about things some bosses do which make their employees want to quit.  BANG!!! An illuminated light bulb when off in my memory.  I had one job which I enjoyed, but my boss was a troll.  At my evaluation meeting with the manager of the company, his written evaluation of me was presented.  She read it and asked me to explain why he reported his observations.  I told her, "He says I'm often late.  He is the one often late because I always arrive 30-45 minutes early.  He says I dress too professionally.  I'm in a professional position so I believe I should appear the part, and besides, my appearance looks better than the dirty sweats he wears.  He says I'm too observant and it makes some uncomfortable including him.  They are uncomfortable because they know they're doing something wrong and have been seen doing it.  He says I knew too much about other clients who aren't mine.  In the initial job interview, he told me I am expected to know about ALL the clients and their challenges in this place, as well as mine."  There was a bit of silence, my boss was red-faced and uneasy.  The manager of the company told him he may leave because she wanted to talk to me.  He left muttering.  I was asked if all I said was true and why would I say so much against him.  I told her it was and that I'd rather be teaching than to have a supervisor as hypocritical and unprofessional as he; this was my last day. I, also, told her that I knew in two days I would be back to teaching because I'd been contacted by a school for a long-term teaching position. I learned a few days later that he was relieved of his "services".  "Truth is hate to those who hate the truth."

I was shopping at Walmart when a person came up to me and tried to move into my area.  When I told them I was in that place, they proceeded to be rude and abrasive.  I just watched their mouth and waited for my opportunity to tell them what was.  Finally they stopped talking.  I smiled and said, "I don't know how you can pronounce the very few words in your entire vocabulary with your summer teeth----summer there, summer not."  As the person was processing (well, I think that’s what the brain activity was doing), I then got the items I was looking at and moved on.

Living isn’t measured in years.  It’s measured in moments---the good ones and the not-so-good ones; the laughter and the tears; the “hurrah”s and the “oh crap”s.  The ones we treasure are like smoke in a gentle breeze---seen and then drifting away.  The sum of all our choices makes up who we are.

“Time is:  Too slow for those who wait, Too swift for those who fear, Too long for those who grieve, Too short for those who rejoice, But for those who love---Time is Eternity.”  Henry van Dyke

I decided to stop by Aint Daisy’s to check on her.  She’d been a bit under the weather.  As I approached the front door, I could hear a familiar voice talking to her.  I knocked and was invited in.  “Come on in here, chile.  Set yer self down and I’ll fix us all some pie and tea.”  She excused herself and went into the kitchen.  I asked Betty Jo how she was and how the family was.  She started telling me all sorts of things (actually bragging) about each child (I knew those kids).  Aint Daisy came in with a tray of pie and tea and sat it down on the coffee table.  Betty Jo continued her chatter (bragging tales) as she ate her pie and sipped her tea.  I looked at Aint Daisy, she just smiled at me and continued to eat and sip.  Betty Jo mentioned she had to go do something important (more bragging) and didn’t want to be late.  She said her good-bye and thank you; then, left.  I looked at Aint Daisy and asked, “We know 90% of what she said was just the opposite of what really is.  Why does she do that?”  Aint Daisy smiled.  “Chile, sometimes the real is too much t’ bear for some folks.  Betty Jo is that.  It don’t dawn on her that we know her actions tell us more than her words.  My Mama always said, ‘Understand folks by their actions, and you’ll never be fooled by their words.’”  She smiled, again, with a twinkle in her eyes.  Ahhh, more wisdom from the Lady of the holler and her mama.

Brenduhh came over to tell me her opinion of how I looked in a flowered dress I’d bought.  I put it on and greeted her as she came through the open door.  “Well, hi there, Trude.  How are you today?” she asked.  “I bought this dress and wonder what you think of it on me.  So, tell me, please,” I said.  Brenduhh has a way with words that can be a bit confusing and non-committal at times.  “Hmmm, turn around and let me see the back.  O.K. turn back around.  I think the dress is pretty with all the flowers.  You wear them well.  In fact, I just love seeing all the flowers in a garden in one place with all 12 rows stretched out.”  I think that was her “tactful” way of telling me the Burpee’s flower catalog had nothing on my dress’s display with me in it.  The dress became a blouse later that day.

Ohhhhh, I found a new word to use (if I can remember it)!!!  NEPHELOCOCCYGIA: The act of seeking and finding shapes in clouds.  Now to help you pronounce this word:  Neh-fell-o-cox-see-gia .  Enjoy spitting this one out at a party.  

As with everyone, I was having a rather difficult day with my feelings.  I shared my discouragement with a dear friend after she said, with love, “Wanna share what’s going on?”  I told her, “So many things.  I usually have it all together when in actuality, today, I feel like my “together” is more like dried PLAYDOUGH on the floor and in a shag carpet.  It sits there crumbled, stepped on, being sworn at by a distraught mother, and useless.  It’s getting to be stink bug season, and they want to come into MY house causing me to question God’s rationale as to why He created them, other than to annoy me and stink up my vacuum.  My left hip hurts due to Arthur-I-Is who came uninvited two or three weeks ago and won’t leave when I tell him to.  So, with gnawing discomfort I’m impeded in movement which distresses me, and I swear, and I know God heard me and put another black check by my name and moved me up on the ‘nasty mouth, naughty girl’ list.”  She said words of comfort, but what made me laugh out loud was her, “Oh sweetie, you crack me up with your way to plow through it all and describe it causing me to reel with laughter.”