2019 March FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

2019 March FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

Recently I had a friend tell me they hadn’t done much that day, and they felt very guilty about it.  They, also, seemed a bit discouraged.  I asked them, “Did you make your bed?  Did you wash any dishes?  Did you make someone smile?  Did you say, ‘God bless you’ to someone?  Did you pray?  Did you smile?  Did you eat something you enjoyed?  Did you make coffee and drink it?  Did you breathe?  Did you feel your heart beating?  Did you tell someone, “Thank you”?  Did someone tell YOU, “Thank you.”?  Did you think of a loved one?  If you can answer, “Yes” to 90% of these, you did something today.  She told me, “There are yeses to all but 2 of them.  I seem to have been very busy; I’m exhausted.”

I saw this recently.  It makes a lot of sense.  “Worry is a conversation you have with yourself about the things you cannot change.  Prayer is a conversation you have with God about things He can change.”  I’d like to add, “Wisdom is knowing which one will bring positive results.”

“I've made plans to return as a spirit when I die.  “You know when I'm gone I really won't be, don't you? I'll visit often and you'll know," I told my daughter.  She replied, "I know, Mom. You'll HAUNT the hell out of me." I told her, "Well, someone has to. Ahhgrahhh, a mother's work is never done."

It was rainy with loud thunder in central Illinois.  A male friend of mine posted a picture of him and his sweet dog, Betty.  He said, “Someone is a bit afraid of all the thunder.”  I replied, “It’s a good thing you have Betty.”

It was a very busy, needful school morning.  I'd made some toast, got sidetracked due to a child's needs, and ended up burning the toast. I took it out of the toaster, buttered it, put it on a plate at my place at the table with the intention of eating it as soon as possible. Another need was announced, so I tended to that one. When I came back, the toast was gone and the plate was in front of Guy, my beloved. I told him I'd be glad to make some non-burned toast for him. He said, "You're busy with what is more important than more toast for me. Besides, I like burned, buttered toast." I looked at him and asked, "Since when, big boy?" He smiled and said, "Oh, since 5 minutes ago." THAT WAS MY BELOVED GUY.

Y’all probably don’t know about the word “whipper snapper”.  Well, you probably never thought of it, either, if ya didn’t get smacked with your daddy’s belt.  Daddy didn’t go to that level often, not that I was an angel, but when he did, that belt came flying out of his belt loops faster than I could blink.  First, he’d smack his hand, then my butt was next.  Just two licks (that’s what they’re called) did the trick of convincing me of the 11^th commandment---“THOU SHALT NOT BE STUPID AND DO THAT AGAIN”.  So now you know where the term “whipper snapper” came from………….the lightening speed of my Daddy’s belt, to be placed on my buttocks 2 times, as it left his pants’ belt loops.

It was raining pretty hard and splashing onto the porch at Aint Daisy’s.  So, we sat in the living room where there were pictures of many people in her family.  She displayed them proudly and had a story to tell about each one.  “Those stories I tell are verbal history, chile.  Not all you read in history books is true, and a lot of simple, interesting information is left out.  Listen to your elders as they talk about their experiences of their life.  Ask them what was going on around them when they were your age.  You’ll learn a lot…more than what you’ll read in a history book.”  I still remember the stories Mother told me of her childhood.  They aren’t written down in books…they’re verbal history. 

My hairdresser, Cathy, has a 4 year old granddaughter who says anything she thinks; she has no filter.  Cathy told her, “Abby, you make me smile.”  Abby replied, “Oh Grannie, you make me laugh.”  Cathy continued, “I never know what will come out of your mouth.  I love you so much.”  “Grannie, your teeth come out of your mouth.  I love you so much.”

True friends do not “abandon your ship” when things get rough.  They grab an oar and help you row.

Conner, age 6, was watching his dad work on the family car.  Usually when his dad works on something of that caliber, something goes wrong.  After about 1 hour, Conner ran into the house and announced with the exuberance of a 6 year old, “Dad’s been working on the car.  It didn’t blow up!!”  In another happening, he went running up the stairs to his brothers’ rooms shouting, “Who wants a knuckle sandwich?” thinking it had to do with food and snacks.

Never, never, EVER store your CHAPSTICK in the same drawer as the glue stick!!  I speak from experience.

Brenduhh asked me over for some tea.  She said she had something important to tell me and it was a secret.  I arrived and saw her putting her Tupperware lids in the freezer.  “What in the world are you doing?” I asked.  “I’m making lethal weapons.  They are the best weapons because no one will ever find them.”  She has a point. She called the Hershey candy company telling them they needed to recall all the MOUNDS bars because hers had an upside down wrapper on it and all the others she looked at did, too.  She said, “I bought a Mounds candy bar, but the wrapper said, My Mounds bar wrapper says, ‘Spunow’.  You need to recall all of them and put the correct wrapper on them.”  I told her to eat it anyway; it would taste just as good.  

Andy’s….:  (Andy is a former student of mine.  He’s one of my treasures.  He says he’s lived a full-life with all he’s done.  He is rough, but honest; hard, but tempered; protective, but kind and giving.  He has shared many profound observations with me.  I want to share them with you.  That is why I call this “Andy’s…”.)

“Life ain’t never been easy, but, man, it’s worth it.  Find the good in today and make the day count.” 

“Death is nothing.  How you live your life is everything.”  “I like the black sheep, the odd ones, the ones who are different, the ones that think differently than me…that make me see the world through their abstract mind. The artist, the poets, the musicians, for they are the light in a dark world.”  “I will be 47 in a couple days and I have lived far from a perfect life, but I have definitely lived a full life.  I went out last night with a young man for his 21st birthday, and thought to myself ‘his life is just beginning’.  By the time I was 21, I had already lived a wild life.  I actually and seriously didn't think I would see my 21st birthday, and as birthdays came and passed, I decided God wasn't going to let me die.   Good or bad, here I am working towards 50, feeling blessed to have made it this far. Lord knows I have felt pain, I have suffered loss, watched friend's and family pass away like leaves falling to the ground. But, I have seen some of the most beautiful and amazing things in life also. ‘Watched friends find love, babies being born, grandson growing up, beautiful daughter becoming a woman, and boys becoming men who I am proud to call my friends.”  “No one's lived your life, no one has experienced the pain that you have, nor do they or will they ever understand.  We may have the capacity to relate with someone else, but we will never understand how “life’s garbage” affects someone else psychologically.   So, try not to judge, be kind when you can, if you ever need me I will do my best to relate and listen.  I have lost too many to things which I have lived through not to offer. Please know, I might not say what you want to hear, but I will be honest.”

Some people can lie, cheat, treat you badly and somehow manage to make it all seem like it’s your entire fault.  There is a psychological term for that----“manipulative psychopath.”  The street term for that is----“fu**in’ sh**head.”

FACEBOOK tells and teaches a lot.  One of the many things it has told me is, most of the users are not ready for a spelling bee, yet.  It has taught me that drama can begin with one innocent agreement or disagreement.

I was telling my friends, “Jesus plays SCATTERGORIES.”  They were both surprised to hear that and asked what made me think that.  I told them, “Well, Jesus said, ‘If you are gathered in my name, I’ll be there, too.’  We pray together, we have fellowship, and talk about our blessings while we are playing SCATTERGORIES.  So, He’s here right in the middle of us playing right along.”  I don’t know why they were shaking their heads.

I was standing in the “15 items or less” aisle at Kroger.  The gal behind me had a full cart of food and stuff.   I looked at her, then the cart, then back to her.  I said to her, “Math wasn’t your strongest subject in school, was it?”  She grinned, and I saw only 7 teeth in her entire mouth.  I thought, “Dental hygiene wasn’t either.”

2019 February FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                          2019 February FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

I enjoy reading READER’S DIGEST.  The articles are just the right length to inhale the entire magazine in a few hours.  In the July/August 2018 edition, there was a section called “15 Life’s Lessons That You Can’t Live Without”.   One really brought back a memory of something I said to another after she’d miscarried.  She was lamenting; I listened closely.  I knew how she hurt, as I’d miscarried many years before.  I told her of it and added, “It took a while to accept the loss.  I got pregnant again many months later, and I know, if I’d not miscarried the one, I’d never have known the one I have now.  She’s been a blessing since she was born.”  Years later, that gal told me she’d had another child about a year after our sharing.  “Your words stuck with me all through that pregnancy, Trudy.  I have a wonderful son who is truly a joy to have.”

My friend, who frequents McDonald’s for breakfast, has experienced mixed-up orders, orders not complete, and just about no order (imagine that!).  On a particular morning he took a photo of his closed bag of breakfast and cup of drink.  He announced, “I am going to play ‘BREAKFAST ROULETTE’ from McDonald’s this morning.  It’s always a surprise to find what is and isn’t in the bag.”

I’d been looking, on the internet, at things I thought I needed.  While scrolling through my “wall” on FACEBOOK 2 hours later, I was surprised to see the exact same things being advertised to purchase.  I think I’ll forgo looking at adult toys except for bubble wrap.

In hatred as in love, we grow like the thing we brood upon. What we loathe, we graft into our very soul. -Mary Renault, novelist (4 Sep 1905-1983) What we love we graft into our very soul, too. (tjr 1945 - )

Scratch your head moment:  There was an article in the newspaper that a person stole a Bible.  They wanted to be more Christian.

I am patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it. -Edith Sitwell, poet (7 Sep 1887-1964)  Oh wow, this statement could be a whole dissertation from me, especially after all my years of teaching and some of the parents, students, colleagues, and administrators I’ve dealt with.  Some administrators I dealt with had the thought that since they had a lot of education, they knew more than others.  Stupidity knows no level of education or the collective degree of degrees.  Thus, I could say, “I’m not patient with those who actually are stupid and proud of it.”  Gods, they just drive me over the edge.  I’m certain some of you can identify.

It got to be the season for a kettle of greens and ham to go with buttermilk cornbread; so I made it all.  My daughter, Della, came over and asked if she may take some home to eat the next day.  Of course, I gave her enough to be two or three meals.   She called me and said, “Mom, I fixed a few eggs to go with what you gave me.  I have had greens, eggs, and ham for breakfast!!”  I could not stop laughing and the Dr. Seuss story will have a different meaning to me, now.

My friend wears dentures.  In a hurry, she left them in a cup beside her bed and rushed to another location of the house.  She came back a bit later and couldn’t find them.  She went into the living room and there on the couch were her dentures chewed by her 2 dogs.  Evidently they had “tried them on”, didn’t like them, and chewed them.  When she questioned the dogs while holding the chewed dentures, she could hardly be stern with them asking them if they’d done the deed.  The mental visual of them “trying them on” was just too much to keep a straight face and be stern.

My friend, Ruth, was telling me about a sandwich she had eaten recently at a restaurant.  She said she was going to try to find some smoked pork shoulder to make some at home.  While we were together, she put the phone on “speaker” and called a local meat store and asked if they had any “smorked poke shoulder”.   The man on the other end said he’d never heard of “smorked poke shoulder”, but they did have some smoked pork shoulder in the store.  After she got off the phone, I mentioned to her that “smorked poke shoulder” isn’t known around here in central Illinois.  We had a good laugh as her spoonerism.

There is a word in German which describes one’s enjoyable feeing at another’s misfortune.  It is SHADENFRUDEN.  Not every one can pronounce that German word correctly, so I went searching for an English word of the same definition.  I found, EPICARICACY.  Hmmm, in essence, there seems to be a challenge to some with both pronunciations.

While stitching the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand had been caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with him.  The topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders.  The farmer said, “Well, as I see it, most politicians are ‘Post Turtles’.”  Not being familiar with the term, the doc asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was.  The wise old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post turtle.”  The farmer saw a puzzled look on the doc’s face, so he explained.  “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, and he’s elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb arse put him up there to begin with.”  The doc said, “That’s the best explanation of a politician I’ve ever heard.  On a personal level, I can think of some administrators, board members, parents, and even teacher colleagues I’ve dealt with.  I’m sure you can think of others, too.

I went shopping with Aint Daisy then we sat on the park bench and “people watched”, as she calls it.  “See those young’uns over yonder?  They’ve been fussing with their mama the whole time we’ve been here.  She isn’t doing them any favors by not making them hush and show respect to her.  Respect doesn’t come automatically, one has to earn it, and the mama needs to teach it or they’re gonna have a hard life.”

My sweet daughter saw I was being rather rough on myself as I tried to manage just about every aspect of something.  She said, “Momm, you are a micro-manager.  Back yourself off and rest!”  I told her, “Well, just because I try to organize applesauce and mashed potatoes, does not a micro-manager make!!!”  She laughed.

I have contact with a lot of my former students.  Most are in their 30s and early 40s.  One “live wire” asked on a social media site one Friday late afternoon, “What’s everybody doing tonight?”  There were expected answers of fun group get togethers and night club activities.  I replied, “I'm old, so I'm remembering what I did on Friday nights when I was young. After thinking and remembering for about 30 minutes, I'm exhausted and ready for a nap.”

I called my telephone company and asked if they had plans to put television cable (fiber optic), telephone, and internet all together in my area (they are calling it DIGI-MAX), and if so, would it be here before I die.  The young man said, “We are using the best equipment we have to run the fiber optic and other lines to your area as fast as we can.  As for it being in your locale before you die, we use fiber optic cables, not a crystal ball.”  I appreciated his sense of humor and laughed out loud, then thanked him for his wit.

We had a lot of snow fall the week-end of Jan. 11-13.  A friend in NE Ohio sent me a picture of her back yard with all its snow.  I told her, “We have a lot of snow here in central Illinois, too.  I really don't mind it as it gives proof that I'm not the only one on this 2-acre plot of land.  Deer, rabbits, wandering dogs, and some coyotes track through the front and back yards.  I've watched the deer nibble on some of the cedar trees in the back, bed down for a while under the biggest one, and paw at the snow to reveal a morsel of green grass beneath the white blanket.  I think of those in the deep South, not at how lucky they are to not have all this, but what their reaction would be if they did.....’Oh my gawd, we're gonna die; it's the end of the world!!!’  We Northerners are a tough lot, aren't we?” 

That’s it for this month.  May you have many smiles and more blessings.  Trudy J

2019 January FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

2019 January FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

Wow!!  A brand new year which will be filled with love, family, friends, smiles, frowns, expectations, confirmations, and a host of all sorts of things.  I welcome them all.

Aint Daisy was sitting in her living room on the blue over-stuffed, big flower covered couch.  She was working on a quilt made of scraps of material from clothing she’d made for her, her family, and friends.  I sat down and watched her stitch each piece together.  “Aint Daisy, you could stitch each piece of material together faster if you used your sewing machine,” I mentioned.  She kept on stitching, and then raised her head with a smile.  “Honey, each stitch of puttin’ the pieces together helps me to remember what I made from this fabric, who it was for, and the look on their face when I gave it to them.  I get to relive those moments which are priceless.  I don’t mind the time it takes to put these pieces together and then make a quilt out of the cover.  The best things take time and I enjoy it.  Ya see, Honey, you gettin’ here from when you were conceived to when you were born took a bit over 9 months.  You seem to be one of the best things that took time to make, don’t you agree?”  I’d never thought of my being and arrival that way.  I smiled at her question.  “Besides, I believe one needs to do one thing that makes them happy for a few hours every day… just one thing.”  This lady is so wise.

There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, poet, dramatist, novelist, and philosopher (28 Aug 1749-1832)

Groups of various animals are called different things.  I find these interesting:

“When BABOONS congregate, it's called a 'congress.' ... "Now consider a group of baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?”  MONKEYS:  barrel; LEOPARDS: leap; CROWS: murder; LOCUSTS: plague; PARROTS: pandemonium; ELEPHANTS: parade; APES: shrewdness; GIRAFFES: tower; JELLYFISH: smack; RATS: mischief; UNICORN: a blessing; PORCUPINE; prickle

Have you ever spent a lot of time writing a grocery list and then get to the store and find you left it on the counter?  Well, I have more times than I like to count; so I devised a trick for me.  I list the items I need in alphabetical order.  Then, should the counter still have the list, I have the list in my memory all in alphabetical order.  Of course, I sound and look rather foolish running all over the store reciting the alphabet over and over.

I have some former students who keep in touch with me.  It thrills me, and they are realizing I am always here to help them with words, wisdom and encouragement.  One particular student wrote to me and told me of their trials, despair, and hurts.  They had stopped believing in themselves.  I wrote to them, “You are so loved. You have so much to give to others and to be receptive to what is given to you in love. I recognized your talents and soul a long time ago; you just didn't know I did. Shadows are peaceful.”  They wrote to me weeks later telling me my words gave them the strength they needed.  Teachers never know just how much influence they have on a child.

Two cowboys, Jim and Mack, stopped at a convenience store.   Mack got out and asked Jim, “What do you want?”  Jim said, “I want a beer and a taco with lots of hot peppers.”  Mack returned with an order and gave it to Jim.  “Hey, this is root beer! That’s for immature fools.”  “Drink up,” suggested Mack.

Have you noticed on an application there is an area about what race you are; Black, White, Native American, Hispanic, Other?  I checked White and wrote next to it, “Creamy, light-beige peachy-pink”.  The person looking over my application glared at me when they got to that response and drew a line through my written answer.  I told them, “I’m not white.  That door trim is white; a cloud is white, a chicken egg is white.  I am not any of those colors.  I am what Sherwin Williams’ paint company calls, ‘Casa Blanca Creamy Pale Peach’; and, by the way, White is NOT a race.  It’s a color or negation of color.”  I could tell she was thinking by watching her eyes roll around.

“All know that the drop merges into the ocean, but few know that the ocean merges into

 the drop.”  Kabir, reformer, poet (late 15th century).  'Interesting little fact here;

 this can lead to a larger and more profound message or action.  I think of when I merged

 into some rush hour traffic one day.  Here I was just one lone vehicle finally finding an

 opening in which to move.  I was going along when 2 semis came up too close for comfort;

 one was beside me and the other was thinking, “This hood ornament would look nice on

 my trunk.”  I knew enough that one should not put on their brakes to encourage an

 18,000 pounder to “BACK OFF, DAMNIT!!!”  There was really nothing I could do, but 

keep on traveling at the speed I was.  This was because the 2 vehicles which were in

 front of me REALLY were in front of me now---they’d slowed down to view the scenery! 

 YEESH!  So, this little “drop” merged into the “ocean” of traffic; then, the ocean 

seemed to merge into the drop.  When I got home, I opened a wine bottle, took a drop

 and ended up “merging” the rest of it into me.

This past September, central Illinois experienced very high temperatures coupled with high humidity.  It was oppressive, to say the least.  At 9:30 it was already 90 degrees with 75% humidity.  My daughter asked me what it was like outside.  My response to her was, “It is keep-your-butt-inside-where-it-is-cool degrees out at this time.”

A friend of mine showed a ship cutting through the enormous waves of a storm in the North Sea.  Just looking at the picture made one nauseous and frightful.  The picture's captions said, "Give a response this picture."  Her response was, "Nope...nope...nope.. to the nopest of nopes."  It made me laugh because I know how she feels about going on a cruise in the ocean.

On your way up the ladder of success, don’t forget to look back at how far you’ve climbed.
Smiles, peace, and blessings……………..Trudy

2018 December FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                           2018 December FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

It’s December already.  This year seems to have flown by.  I guess when you get older time seems to go quickly until you have an ache or pain and then it just seems to drag on.  Well, I don’t curse the aches and pains anymore because if I didn’t have one or the other, I’d think I was dead or had another body.

"Hi Aint Daisy.  How are you doing?"  I inquired.  "Come on up here and set a spell, chile," she said.  "Now, you asked me how I was doing.  Are you just saying that or do you mean it?  You know folks don't seem to really want to know.  I talked to a young'un a few days back.  They asked how I was and I told them.  With all the fake smilin' and wigglin' they did I was sure they weren't that interested.  So, I stopped tellin' 'em.  Now, I have a question for you, honey.  Do you want to know or are ya just talkin'?"  I knew it had bothered her.  "I truly want to know how you are because it lets me know there might be something I could do for you."  She smiled, leaned forward and patted my hand.  "Honey, it's folks like you that make us old folks appreciate your listening to your parents about how to treat people and talk to them.  Your parents done good on you, and you done good listening to them.  You see, a child's behavior and way of talkin' is most always a reflection on their up-bringin'."  I've always wanted to have my parents be proud of me even though they are no longer Earthly bound.  Aint Daisy confirmed they probably were.

A friend of mine had to have an IV line put into their arm.  My friend posted a picture of the site where the needle was inserted.  He gave a terrific description of what he thought it looked like.  “I felt as if they were drilling core samples to determine my age via growth rings”, was his comment.  I agreed with him.

My friend, Melodie, told me, “I have an old, loose, crown, in my mouth, and made an appointment to have it looked at. Talking with the hubz, as he was busy working on something, I mentioned that I hope the dentist doesn't find anything seriously wrong, and hoping it won't be too expensive. I'm too old to sell my body. He said, matter-of-factly, 'Yeah, I was kind of thinking that, too, and wondering if we can get about 4 bucks a pound.' OMG! He sure knows how to make a girl feel good. I'm pretty sure our ideas of 'selling my body' differ from one another, or, he just didn't hear me correctly. I left it at that. What a guy.”

I have a friend who is an associate pastor at a local church.  Every Tues. he asks, on a social media page, if there are any prayer requests.  Many respond.  Recently he took a picture of his Bible laying on top of his beagle, Betty.  She was totally content to have the book on her and appeared to be sleeping.  He referred to her as "Prayer Beagle who might be praying in tongues or snoring"…..he couldn't tell which.

Love is like quicksilver {mercury} in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays in the palm; clutch it, and it darts away. -Dorothy Parker, author (22 Aug 1893-1967)

A Marine walks into a confessional and says, “Forgive me Father for I have sinned.  Last night, I beat the ever living stuffing out of a flag burning, police hating, American hating person.”  The priest says, “My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service.”

I saw this the other day and want to add my twist to it.  “Alcohol doesn’t solve problems, but neither does milk”…….unless you have a bag of Oreos or home made chocolate chip cookies.  The dipping of the cookies will help the milk solve your problems.  Chocolate cake will, too.

The older I get, The more I think…You only get a minute, better live while you're in it 'Cause it's gone in a blink.
And the older I get The truer it is---It's the people you love, not the money and stuff  That makes you rich.  And if they found a fountain of youth I wouldn't drink a drop and that's the truth; Funny how it feels I'm just getting to my best years yet.
The older I get The fewer friends I have, But you don't need a lot when the ones that you got Have always got your back; And the older I get The better I am At knowing when to give And when to just not give a damn.
And if they found a fountain of youth, I wouldn't drink a drop and that's the truth, Funny how it feels I'm just getting to my best years yet; The older I get.
And I don't mind all the lines From all the times I've laughed and cried; Souvenirs and little signs of the life I've lived.  The older I get, The longer I pray; I don't know why, I guess that I Got more to say; And the older I get
The more thankful I feel For the life I've had, and all the life I'm living still .

(My favorite line is the one I’ve underlined and put in bold.  It is so very true.)  Song and words by Alan Jackson

I was visiting my 9 year old grandson.  It was time to leave, so I asked him if I could give him a kiss good-bye.  He stood up and turned his cheek to receive my kiss.  Then, he wiped it off with his sleeve.  I said, “Are you wiping away my kiss?”  He quickly replied, “No, Gram.  I’m putting it on my sleeve so I can put it wherever I want to.”  So without anymore words, he put it on his forehead then on his heart.  I asked him why in those 2 places.  He said,  “On my forehead which is close to my brain so I can remember it, and on my heart because that’s where it goes.”  I melted.

My daughter-in-law was telling about an incident when she was 12 and her brother was 6.  She’d fallen and hit her head causing a laceration with bleeding.  Her brother called their mother at work and shouted, “Jessie’s fallen and hit her head.  It’s bleeding, and I can hear the air coming out, too.”

My grandson was telling about the deer hunt he and his dad, my son, had been on.  “Dad got a buck, but made it into a doe in the field.”

You can give without loving, but you can’t love without giving. 

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa to you …... Trudy

2018 November FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                                 2018 November FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

Our calendar is somewhat confusing.  September means the 7^th month; October means the 8^th month; November means the 9^th month; and December means the 10^th month.  Julius and Augustus Caesar wanted months named after them, so they took days from all the other months and made July and August which are the 7^th and 8^th months.

Thanksgiving is this month.  I know you know that.  It is one of my favorite times.  It’s the lead up to it, the cooking, the anticipated gathering with those you love and like, the eating of contributed deliciousness, the football game(s), and the laughter and talking.  Then there is the Friday afterwards where so many go shopping scrambling for bargains and thinking of the next holiday.  I like the day after Thanksgiving because it is then that I KNOW I do NOT have to go out to shop and deal with all the rude, obnoxious people who should be home cleaning up the post-apocalyptic disaster in the kitchen.

I had someone discouragingly tell me, “I just feel like throwing in the towel.”  I listened to their lamentations, complaints, groans, and such.  When they were finished, I told them, “Towels do not soak up the gold nuggets; they soak up the water around those gold nuggets.”  It gave them something to think about.

Too much stress literally causes the human brain to shut down and freeze temporarily.  I know this to be absolutely true.  I was given some bad news.  Everything, every sound was surreal and I felt as though I was in a very slow moving whirlpool.  I could hear the person’s voice, but I could NOT process the words.  Nothing registered not even all my other senses’ stimuli.  So, if you’re having a lot of stress, try to walk away for a while so you can unfreeze your brain. 

Aint Daisy was on her porch watching her world frolic before her.  She saw me and invited me to “come sit a spell”.  I know those “spells”; from them comes some wisdom to carry with me to get me through whatever.  She rocked and hummed.  “Ya got somethin’ on yer mind, sweetie?” she crooned.  I slowly, like peeling away the skin of an onion, revealed my troubles; she listened lovingly.  When I finished, she told me to go get 2 forks, 2 plates, a knife, and that freshly baked cherry pie on the kitchen table, and bring it all to her.  I did as she asked and set it down in front of her.  “Now, go get me a large soup spoon and that bowl of homemade whipped cream in the refrigerator.”  I did just that.  She didn’t ask me if I wanted a piece of pie or how big I wanted it.  She just cut a large triangle and put a huge glop of whipped cream on top, and then handed it to me.  She did the same for herself.  I told her, “Aint Daisy, I’m going to have supper in half and hour.”  “T’aint no mind about that.  You need this.  I’m sure you know that “stressed” spelled backwards is “desserts”.  Now, eat up, chile.”  This lady knows, oh how she knows.

There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it. -Alfred Hitchcock, film-maker (13 Aug 1899-1980)  How interesting the one who made so many “terrors in the bang” movies would say this.  But then again, remember the tube of biscuits….those terror producing tubes.

Brenduhh came over all worried.  “Trudy, I bought this box of spaghetti about 6 months ago.  The expiration date was last week.  Now what am I supposed to do with 2 pounds of uncooked spaghetti since it’s expired last week?  Do you suppose it will dry out if I don’t cook it all tonight?”  Did you know you can exercise your eye muscles by rolling them?

It just takes one-----one smile can start a friendship; one word can end a fight; one look can save a relationship; one person can change your life; one prayer can begin a miracle; one breath can start a life; one hug can heal a hurt; one song can soothe your strife.  It just takes one.

I was to see a new doctor one time.  My daughter, who had worked in the area of his practice, told me he was very arrogant.  I told her I’d previously dealt with doctors like that.   She said, “Bring on the fangs!”  I told her, “My fangs are in place all the time.  I just have to have the “button” pushed.”  I, also, told her I’d curtailed another doctor’s arrogance with a “quasi-joke”, which was when I asked an arrogant doctor, “Do you know the difference between God and a doctor?”  He replied he did not.  I told him, “The difference is….God knows He’s not a doctor.”  Yep, I really and truly said this to a doctor.

Brenduhh came over with an idea for a mixed drink.  “Trudy, do you think if I mixed vodka, orange juice, and Phillip’s milk of magnesia it would be called a “Phillip’s screwdriver” and relieve my tenseness and sour stomach?”  I told her, “I’m sure that’s not all it would do.”

Words…..those little things which can build or tear down; can heal or hurt; can bring a smile or frown.  They are so powerful.  Be careful with them because once they are said, they can be only forgiven, not forgotten.

My friend, Megan, has a daughter. Annie was super frustrated with her mom’s nagging one morning.  Annie: “Mom, if you don’t stop and slow down you are going to miss life, just like you are forcing me to miss life this morning because you keep rushing me!”....by “missing life” she means missing a chance to watch Netflix before school.

It’s rather confusing when a person is called a “dumb butt” and a “smart ass” in the same conversation.

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. Spanish proverb    

Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion. -Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, philosopher (27 Aug 1770-1831)  

“Rock bottom will teach you lessons that mountain tops never will.”  I remember when I had very little money and 4 mouths to feed.  Improvising with a pound of ground beef, 3 potatoes, a small onion, 1 cup of milk, some flour, spices, and a loaf of home made bread fed us all. 

I hope you have had blessings for which to be thankful……………………………..Trudy

2018 October FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                                  2018 October FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

When you hear someone or others judging you, it’s not about you.  It’s about them: their insecurities, limitation, needs, bad memories, and feelings of inadequacies they felt a long time ago.

As a mom, my children would come to me with all sorts of “boo-boos”.  They were hugged, a band-aid was applied, and a kiss to make the “boo-boo” feel better.  Sometimes I’d have to remind them they’d been told not to do what they’d done to get the “boo-boo”.  When I taught high school, I had a student come to me with a paper cut.  He asked for a band-aid, which I applied.  I asked him if he wanted a smiley face drawn on it.  He smiled and said, “Please.”  Then, without thinking, I asked him if he wanted me to kiss it and make it better.  He declined that, but the smile on his face got bigger.  I think I’ll always “Mom” someone, even to another’s child.

There was a lot of teaching going on at the dinner table, when I was growing up. Daddy would throw out words to look up in the dictionary; Mother would talk about her childhood and those experiences living on a farm. Then when we were much older, my brother got a job in the communicable diseases laboratory at a local hospital. It was while eating mashed potatoes and peas, he told about a specimen he'd dissected and examined that day.  I tried selective hearing at his voice tone after that.

It's interesting to sit back and let your thoughts go when you hear a certain song. It happened to me recently.  I won't say which song it is, but I saw in my memory exactly where I was and who was with me. I saw our smiles, heard our talk, even felt a touch. When I was young and so in love.....you know that love which brings the thought, "This will last forever!!" He went his way; I went mine, but the memories were brought to a place, a person, a smile, and moist eyes. When I was young and so in love.....

This is my favorite month.  It is so colorful, air temperatures are just right, bugs are leaving, and I’m comfortable….it’s not too hot and it’s not too cold----sort of like the porridge Goldilocks ate.

Many of you know about my enjoyment of words and their origins (etymology).  I have found some which are common to most of us and would like to share and enlighten you....I was.  (Thanks "Daily Writing Tips" for helping me discover these.)

bumblebee: This word stems from the Middle English word humbul-be, but by association with bombeln, meaning “boom” or “buzz,” the initial sound changed.  caterpillar: The word for a butterfly or moth larva stems from the Old French word catepelose (“hairy cat”); the alteration of the third and fourth syllables to -pillar (from Middle English piller, meaning “plunderer”) may have developed from the notion of its destructive effect on plants.  This is probably where the "yellow god" of Peoria, IL got its name.)  cockroach: This word is derived from the Spanish term cucaracha and employs two words that, when combined, sound similar to the original word.  Is the song stuck in your head, now?  crawfish/crayfish: Although these are variations of a name for an aquatic animal, the second syllable in each is not equivalent to the word fish; the entire word, ultimately from a Germanic language, stems from the Anglo-French term creveis by way of the Middle English word crevis and is related to crab (and perhaps to carve).  Hmmm, in the South, where I lived most of my early years, it was "crawdad" or "crawfish".  greyhound (my favorite dog): The first syllable of this word does not refer to the dog’s color; it is from the Old English term grieg, referring to a female dog.  mongoose: The animal’s name stems from mamgusa in Prakrit, an Indic language. (It has nothing to do with geese, so the plural is mongooses. [Well, that clears that up, a lot.])  polecat: The first syllable of this name for a mammal in the weasel family (also an alternative name for the polecat’s relative, the skunk) is derived from the French term poul (the base of poultry), from its barnyard depredations.  "Country kitty" comes to mind, too.  sockeye: The name for a type of salmon does not refer to its eyes; it originates from an attempt to pronounce a Native American word for the fish.  white rhinoceros: White, in the name of this animal, is not a reference to its color; it stems from the Afrikaans adjective weit (pronounced "VY*T"), meaning “wide,” a description that distinguishes its wide upper lip from the pointed lip of the black rhinoceros. 

I grew up in the South, not the rural, but close to it.  I went to college in the South, West Virginia to be exact.  The small town had little road-side gas stations.  It was there I learned the difference between “fillin’ stations” and “gas stations”.  Fillin’ stations :  men sitting on a porch chatting about everything; customers moseying about inside, but not in a hurry; maybe some fresh baked something for sale or give away, samples provided; stay-on-your-face-a while smiles galore; locals called by their first names; some penny candy or priced so a child can buy one piece or 3 for a bit more; more smiles galore; wrinkled newspaper with articles circled and puzzles worked sitting on the counter for all to read; a bit of dust everywhere, but not a worry; you can pay at the pump, but customers would rather go inside to pay and chat; "Y'all come back soon, Buddy" told to the customer, if you're not known, "See ya soon {first name included}", if they know you.  Gas stations:  hurrying customers; all edible products wrapped in brand name cellophane; quick smiles and rushing out the door; rush, rush, rush; more paying at the pump; not much dust; not many smiles, either; "Thanks" mentioned, but no first name follows; not much for a child to buy for a penny or a bit more; newspapers for sale in a sealed stand that yells, “Pay before you read; We don’t trust you.”

 A lesson in life from an old tale:  A man starts down a mountain and along the way a colorful snake appears. The snake says, "Please pick me up and hold me close to your warm body. I am almost frozen." The man says, "I don't want to because you are a poisonous snake and you'll bite me." The snake assures the man he won't bite him.  The man picks up the snake, holds it against his body, and walks to the bottom of the mountain. The snake thaws out and when the man opens his coat, the snake bites him. The man screams, "You said you'd not bite me if I helped you. Now you did!!" The snake coldly looks at him and says, "You knew what I was when you picked me up," and slithers away.  Some people are like this, too…think about it.

We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public until someone brings out the bubble wrap.  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit and so is pumpkin. Wisdom is not putting them in a fruit salad.  I don't really want to hurt those who hurt me, but it is still on my mind and keeps me awake at times.  If you can’t be totally honest, at least be completely vague.

The word “homeowner” has the word “meow” in it.  Good luck trying to pronounce it correctly ever again.  I hear you already, “Ho-meow-ner”.  You’re welcome.

Bean is a four-letter word; it is versatile. It can mean a person’s head (use your bean!), money (he’s a bean counter.), secret (spill the beans), the least amount (he doesn’t know beans from bupkis.), nonsense (he is full of beans if he thinks Yankees can win this year), energy (she’s still full of beans at 102).  Oh, it is also the word for some green vegetables or legume (finish your beans!).

“It takes a minute to find a special person; an hour to appreciate them; a day to love them; but, then an entire life to forget them.”  To all my friends and loved ones, I wish you enough love, happiness, smiles, laughter, hellos, moments of peace, hope, faith, and memories to take you through the tough times.

Connor, age 7, was arguing with Charles, his step-father, about Charles taking away what the kids have:  the PlayStation, the pokemon cards, the cars , etc.  Connor said, "It's OUT RIGHT to have our stuff. You're violating our rights!"  So, the mini-lawyer was told he was WRONG and those items were a PRIVILEGE, not a RIGHT, and maybe he needs to study a little more before he gets legal-eagle again.  He tells his mother, "RIGHTS ARE IN THE CONSTITUTION!"  She suggested he go to bed and study more tomorrow.

Brenduhh rushed over to tell me about going to her first football game with her sweetie.  “I really liked it and seeing all those guys with big muscles, the fast running, and tight pants.  But, there was one part I thought was kind of stupid.  At the beginning, there was a flipping of a coin to see who’d play first, I think.  During the game all I heard was, ‘Get the quarterback!!’  Yeesh, it was only $.25.  Why’d they get all excited about a measly quarter?”    
                                                              Peace, y’all………….Trudy

2018 September FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                                      2018 September FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

School has started for just about every child of school age.  Here in my community it started in the middle of August.  That’s not so bad for the kids in my area because the schools are now air condition.  Usually, it is hotter than the hubs of Hades here in August; so, the administrator and boards of education got smart and air conditioned the schools.  Not all schools in this area are, though.  I remember those days when all I taught for about a month, with fans blowing air the speed of jets, was how many trips to the water fountain can one make before they have to use the bathroom. 

The Aztecs gave us the word “ahuacatl” which we’ve made into “avocado”.   Ahuacatl, literally means testicle, but you didn’t want to know that, did you?  HA! Now you do. Tomato is the official fruit of Ohio and Tennessee and official vegetable of the state of New Jersey. Arkansas and Arizona can’t make up their minds and call it both official fruit and vegetable. Finally, the US Supreme Court has decreed that it’s a veggie.  It is, also, acceptable to pronounce it “tuh-MAY-to” or “tuh-MAH-to”.   In the South and other rural areas, “mater” is used.  Is everything clear now?  

Brenduhh’s brother, Bubbuh came over asking if I’d please loan him my object grabber stick.  I asked him why he needed it.  He told me, “Welp, the FedX man brought me a large, brown envelope  and put it on my door mat.  The envelope says, ‘DO NOT BEND’ in bold letters, and I’ve been trying for 2 hours to pick it up without bending.” 

Aint Daisy asked me over for some of her delicious lemonade.  I never pass up an opportunity for that or to talk with her.  I asked her how she was doing and how her children were.  She is so blessed to have them live within 20 miles of her.  She told me she was doing just fine, but was a bit perplexed with the kids.  “It seems they just can’t find time to come visit at least one day a week for an hour or so.  I guess they don’t realize once I’m gone, I’m gone for good.  I’ve mentioned them visiting me, but they always seem to have a full-schedule of events all week which keep them, as they say it, ‘very busy.’  In my opinion, if yer too busy to call or go see yer mom, yer just too danged busy.  I hope they’ll have time to make it to my funeral.”  I ached for her and decided I’d go see her every week, invite or not.

I went to college in West Virginia.  I was from Pittsburgh and was used to urban and suburban living.  It was in the county hills I learned a lot about life and folks.  West Virginia is the only state in the Union to have acquired its sovereignty by proclamation of the President of the United States. West Virginia is considered the southern most northern state and the northern most southern state. Mother's Day was first observed at Andrews Church in Grafton on May 10, 1908.  It’s rolling mountains and hills are absolutely breathtaking in the Fall.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.  If at first you don’t succeed---skydiving is not for you.  “Oops” is not what you want to hear from your dentist.  I have found that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.  He who laughs last, thinks the slowest.  If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?                                                                                        

Daddy had a sweater he loved.  It was grey with a pocket on each side.  He'd worn it so much that Mother had to patch the elbow of the sleeves, rework the button holes, and sew on a button or two.  There were times he saw me a little distressed.  He'd be sitting in his chair with the old sweater around his shoulders.  "Seems like you have some burdens right now, Babe," he say.  I'd let him know that, yes, I was troubled, but was trying to work it out.  He'd smile and tell me, "Try this on.; you'll see why after a while."  I'd take it from his hands, put it up to my throat feeling the softness surround me, and smell the fragrance of his aftershave.  After a while, the tension in my shoulders eased and I felt some peace.  "Daddy, thank you for loaning your sweater to me for a while.  You were right, I feel better."  He grinned and said, "Sometimes actually feeling a garment of one you trust is all you need to bring you some peace."  He didn't mention the fragrance of that person brings peace, too.  There have been experiments done with fretful babies and animals using clothing of a caretaker placed so they can smell them.  They would become calm afterwards.   

Once, twice, thrice... so what is four or five, or more?  There is no word for four times, five times, etc., in the English language.  As a consolation, English does have words beyond primary, secondary, and tertiary. There are quaternary, quinary, senary, and so on.  Now you know, if you didn’t know already.

TO ALL TEACHERS OUT THERE:  Every student needs someone who says, simply, "You mean something. You count." -Tony Kushner, playwright (b. 16 Jul 1956)

A conundrum:  Why is it that BI-WEEKLY means twice a week, but it also means EVERY 2 weeks?  Hmmm??

Food for thought:  If your absence doesn’t affect them, your presence never mattered.  “Doing your best” does not mean working yourself to the point of a mental breakdown.  The mind replays what the heart can’t delete.

A former student gave me a mug.  It held 20 ounces of beverage and coffee was my choice that day.  I’d been struggling with a problem, by myself, which didn’t seem to wane.  As I drank from that mug using my right hand in the handle, the saying said, “With God, All things are possible.”  I thought and then turned it around using my left hand to hold it.  It said, “All things are possible, With God.”  There was clearly a message there for me.

Guy, my Beloved, told me, he and our son Stephen were riding in the car to go somewhere when another car sped around them and cut Guy off.  Stephen asked what Guy was going to do. Guy told him, "Oh he's stupid and I'm just going to leave him that way." They came up to the stop light and Guy was on the left side of the other car. The man's window was rolled down. Stephen rolled down his window, stuck his head out and said to the man, "You are really stupid, and Dad's just going to leave you that way." 

My daughter, Tara was having trouble with another student when she was in first grade. She told me about it and I taught her how to tell him off in Polish, but I never told her what it meant. She practiced the saying often. This one day she came home irritated. I asked her why she was irritated. She said, "John was bugging me again, but I fixed him. I told him that saying you taught me. Oh, here's a note from my teacher." I opened the note; it read, "Trudy, I know you're trying to teach Tara non-violent ways to solved negative interaction problems with others. Today she told John to "kiss my ass" in Polish. It was all I could do to not laugh out loud. I asked Tara what she had said. She told me she didn't know, but you'd taught it to her and it would fix the problem. My grandparents lived with us while I was growing up. They were from Poland; Grandpa had quite a temper.  All the best to you, Erika."   I was sure no one in this area spoke Polish. Thank goodness that was the ONLY phrase I knew.  Be careful what you teach your children to say; they will take it and use it……..that’s their job!!!

NEW WORD:  paragnosis:   noun: Knowledge that cannot be obtained by normal means.

Peace, smiles, and blessings……..Trudy

August 2018 FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                                 2018 August FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

I’ve wondered some things.  They don’t keep me awake at night, or in the day with an unplanned nap, but they do make me wonder.  Why is “monosyllabic” 5 syllables?  I have some green soap, but the foam and bubbles are white….WHY?  How does the medicine you take for something know where to go?  Why can I see something better when I look a bit away from it when I’m looking at it in the dark?  If the plural of goose is geese, why isn’t the plural of moose….meese?  Why does the hair on your head keep growing and stops at a certain point on other parts of your body? I.e. Your arms. (thank you Carole M. Wright)  Butterflies smell with their legs.. how do THEY know?? THEY say dogs see in black and white... how do THEY know?  And, who is THEY???  (thank you, Tammy C. Marquez)  Scientists say they can create living dinosaurs.  WHY???  Wasn’t the first round enough and we have crocodile and alligators as examples.  If you see a turtle without its shell……is it homeless? (thank you, Sam Saladino)  Why is there Braille at an ATM?  (thank you, Lisa Sipka)  Why do kids act nasty when I’m on the phone?  (thank you Rachel O.)

Brenduhh came over all excited.  “Trudy, I’m in love with a man whose name is “Didley Dildy”.  I asked, “So, if you would marry him, you last name would be “DILDY”?  She affirmed that.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  She asked why I was laughing.  I told her, “Be careful when you spell the last name.  It would be something if you replaced the “Y” with an “O”.

I had a very uncomfortable back ache.  I went to the store to get some over-the-counter relief.  The top two shelves had the aspirin, Motrin, and Advil.  The third and fourth shelves had EXCEDRIN PM, extra strength Tylenol, extra strength EXCEDRIN, Midol for killer cramps, and Bayer migraine strength.  The fifth and sixth shelves had ICY HOT, BEN GAY, SALONPAS, and infused back patches to stick on the area of discomfort……THE BOTTOM 2 SHELVES FOR THE PREPARATIONS TO RELIVE THE WORST PAIN!!!.  Yeesh!!  I guess, in the basement, you’ll find the coffins.

Have you ever wondered what a thesaurus has with its coffee in the mornings?  Well, the wondering is over ----------- Synonym rolls.

Just think, an opinion without 3.14 is just an onion.  If you’re wondering what 3.14 is, the answer is at the end of the column.  ****”pi—which is written as the Greek letter for p, or π—is the ratio of the circumference of any circle to the diameter of that circle. Regardless of the circle's size, this ratio will always equal pi. In decimal form, the value of pi is approximately 3.14.”  Thank you SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN

As a parent of 5 children, I’ve had wonderful moments of peace and silence; like when I’ve put the kids in the car and closed their door, walked around to my own door.  It’s like a Caribbean cruise.  Then there are the 5 seconds of peace and quiet after I’ve closed the bathroom door to be alone due to nature’s call or to bathe.  Suddenly I’m needed; fingers are searching for me to touch me from under the door; the “door crack” talk of words through smooshed lips; the incessant knocking with my name being called more than 13 times.  I’m sure some of you can identify and are adding to the list.

It hadn't rained much that week, so the walk up to Ain’t Daisy's was a bit dusty.  She was out there on the porch like she always is at 4:00; just rocking and watching nature prance around.  "Come sit a spell, chile.  You’re hot and dusty.  How ‘bout some sweet tea?” she invited; "You look like you got something on your mind."  I sat down in the white rocker and joined her in her rocking rhythm.  "Ain’t Daisy, have you ever cried so much you don't think you have anymore tears left?"  She just kept rocking and her silence invited me to say more.  "I've had a big cry today all about what some think is silly, but it hurt me badly.  I don't think I have anymore tears left."  She rocked and looked my way with a gentle smile on her face.  "Honey, whatever is heavy on your heart is not silly, nor is it anyone's business of why it hurts.  It hurts and that's that.  Did you know that tears are the safety valve of the heart?  People who hold in their sadness or even anger hurt themselves on the inside.  Tears are good.  When I've had a cry, it seems the tears wash away the obstruction of my vision, and I can clearly see much better the problem or the answer.  Just like the rain has washed away the dust so you can see the leaves and rocks so much better."  How interesting that she'd know one of my favorite songs....."I Can See Clearly Now".

In the check out lane behind me at the grocery store was a young mother.  I placed the divider so she could put her things on the belt.  I didn't see that there was only a small amount of space for her items; so, after I realized it, I moved so she had more room.  She thanked me and said, "That was kind of you."  I smiled and told her, "It is never wrong to be kind."  She agreed and told me she was trying to teach her children that.  I smiled as I was glad to see there was a young parent trying to teach her children about being civil and kind.  I say that because I'd just spent more than a nano-second in an aisle with a mother who was too busy talking on her phone to get her children, who were running up and down the aisle and bumping into my cart, to walk quietly beside her.  None of them even said, "Excuse me."  I leaned over to the young mother behind me and said, "You, also, might teach them a Marine rule I had on my bulletin board when I taught high school....."Respect those in authority; if you can't respect them, respect their rank."  She told me she liked that and would be repeating it to her children.  I have no doubt that she will.

What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness? -Jean Jacques Rousseau, philosopher and author (28 Jun 1712-1778)

I was talking to a friend who needed a chiropractor in her insurance company’s “network”.  I mentioned a few in our area, but each wasn’t in it.  She said her insurance company is in Chicago and knows very little about downstate.  I don’t like Chicago and said, “Good luck with that. Chicago does not have a clue about anything south of the Cook County line. If that were the title of a song, there'd be NO TUNE or LYRICS.”    Peace……….Trudy