🍎🍏 2023 September FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

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SEPTEMBER is the ninth month of our year.  It actually was the seventh month (SEPT means seven), but Julius Caesar decided he wanted to have a month named after him.  So, he took some days from each of the original months and made a month for himself calling it July.  Not to be outdone, Augustus Caesar did the same and he got AUGUST.  That all sounds pretty logical, but here is what really happened:  “The meaning of September comes from ancient Rome: Septem is Latin and means seven. The old Roman calendar started in March, making September the seventh month. When the Roman senate changed the calendar in 153 BCE, the new year started in January, and September became the ninth month.”

Well, Brenduhh came over all in a huff.  “Trute, I am so irritated.  I got two tickets today from a police officer!!” she whined.  “What were they for, and why did you get them, Brenduhh?” I inquired.  “I was about to stop at a stop sign, but I was in a hurry and drove on through it.  Then, I turned right into another lane, but didn’t stay in the inside lane causing a police car to almost crash into me,” she whined some more.  “The police officer made me pull over and stop.  He told me, ‘You could have earned three tickets---one for not stopping at a stop sign, and the second one for not staying in the inside lane when you turned onto the two-lane road; that’s called IMPROPER LANE USAGE.  I can’t give you the third ticket because the printing company ran out of ink for printing the ‘stupid’ tickets.’ ” I told her he was very observant.  I went to get some tea started and put a fresh cinnamon roll on our plates.  She mentioned she was working at a mattress store, but there wasn’t much business.  Most of the employees just lay around doing nothing.  She had been in vacuum sales at another store, but quit because she found most of her profits were sucked up with taxes.

I got a message from FACEBOOK a few months ago. It said, "Your account is restricted for 24 hours. Your account activity didn't follow our Community Standards, so you can't do one or more things you usually do." I posted for all to see/read, "Facebook says I'm restricted from "doing what I usually do" for 24 hours because I went against community standards. WTF??? Of course they won't tell me anything." The gamut of replies made me laugh. Here are some which I thought were enlightening and responses which were amusing:

Darren: "Facebook and "standards" are antonyms." Joseph: "Did you appeal it? Sometimes they will say oops we goofed up." My response: "Oh, like when pigs fly? It will take more energy to appeal than to rest my finger. So, whatever standard I went against, it must be in the realm of nit picking."  Nancy: "It's like you got detention!!" My response: "Yes, and I ran Saturday morning detentions! Oh the irony." Melodie: "WTH?!? You, of all people! Weird." My response: "I know, and here I am all out of M&Ms." Jeremy (one of my Saturday morning detention frequent flyers and former student): With a big laugh icon, "You're in detention!!" My response: "Yep, Ironic, huh?  So, I’ll see you Saturday?”                Donna: "Facebook is sensitive." My response: "I have other words which are more appropriate and       descriptive." Those of you, who know me, know of my vocabulary, that I read dictionaries like others   read novels, and am a retired English teacher.  Carey: "They know who the trouble makers are!!” (big laugh icon)  My response: "Carey, I'm changing your grade!" (He was a student of mine and did very well.) Dianna: "At least you didn't have to sit in a corner at the front of the class on a tall stool with a Dunce cap on!! LoL!!!” My response: "Well, that's a relief, but I would have made it fun."  Craig: "I get that a lot....no way to debate them!" My response: "Cowards make it so you can't show them              where THEY were wrong. Truth is hate to those who hate the truth."  Carole: "They did that to me also, several times. Not sure what they are doing to me now. Not seeing many posts from friends. According to them, I incited violence.” My response: "I can't stop laughing." Carole has the most fabulous sense of humor----dry, witty, droll---and is a very peaceful person. I, on the other hand, am a warrior. So, our being opposites makes me laugh.  Sandi: "Yea, that's FB for ya just tell them you don't agree with their decision and sometimes they'll unblock you." My response: "Well, as I've said, I'm giving my finger a rest or workout."  Then, there was one (a former student) who became a defensive ally. She thought someone had verbally attacked me and blasted them. What a comforting feeling her defense ensued.

Creative people don’t have a mess; they have creative ideas lying around everywhere.  And, if someone else cleans up the “mess”, we have lost our mind.

My daughter and I were at a store.  I saw someone I didn't really like, but couldn't hide among the clothes' racks fast enough.  She saw me-----"Ohhhh, Trudy, how ARE you?  I see you've gotten a bit more plenty to love, and you really should make an appointment with MY hair stylist.  She could do something nice with your hair." (ad nauseam, ad infinitum)  She gushed on and on about her life as we stood there wishing she'd shut up.  Finally, she took a breath long enough for me to tell her we had an appointment soon (like tomorrow).  I hugged her good-bye and walked away.  My daughter asked, "Mom, why did you hug her?  You don't even LIKE her; and she was so insulting to you."  I calmly answered, "Sometimes you have to hug someone you don't really like to find out how big to dig the hole in the woods."  My daughter couldn't stop laughing.

There were some pretty bad storms and high winds in my area recently.  Tree limbs were blown down with leaves blown off some remaining limbs, patio furniture rearranged, bushes bowing to the ground like they were showing respect to royalty; I even saw some inflatable, plastic pigs flying around.  Whelp, I won’t be able to use that phrase anymore.

There are some products offered to us which actually lie about what they are.  For instance:  SLIM FAST---takes too long; it’s time challenged.  SKINNY JEANS---they don’t work and they show all the Twinkies you ate.  SMART WATER---doesn’t work on everyone.  CALGON---Ha!! It didn’t take me away when the kids were at the closed bathroom door---I was still in the tub.

Aint Daisy was busy making pies and rolls as I knocked on her kitchen door.  “Come on in, chile.  I jes took out a cherry pie about an hour ago.  Would ye like some?”  Oh bless her heart.  She knew I would and knows it’s my favorite kind of pie.  She cut a big piece and started piling on the whipped cream she’d, also, made.  When she finished, I think there was still a piece of pie under the mound.  “Thank you, Aint Daisy.  I just love your pies, and you’re so generous with your homemade whipped cream; ‘love that, too,” I said as she smiled, wiped her hands on her apron and sat down across from me with her pie and whipped cream.  “I’ll tell you, Aint Daisy, sometimes I get so busy I wish I had another day in my life to just rest.”  She sat there quietly eating her pie.  “Hmmm, mmm,” came her reply in agreement to my statement.  There was a pause, she looked at me and said, “Chile, if the good Lort gave ye or any body else another day, He’d not be a-doin’ it so ye could rest.  He’s already gone and done that.  He’d add it t’ the already seven a-cause someone out thar needs ye.”  There’s more wisdom from the Lady of the Holler.

My daughter, Della, makes beautiful jewelry, sun catchers, pictures from old jewelry, and other lovely things to sell.  She goes to many vending shows to sell her “pretties”, as I call them.  I called her to come over for a break.  She said, “Oh I’d love to, but my candle’s done burned out.  I’m so far behind I think I’m in first place to be last.”  I went for the snort.

Did you hear about the obstetrician who was quite the STAR WARS fan?  Even his primary office and name were appropriate---OB 1, Ken O’bee, M.D.  He shared an office building suite with a psychiatrist and proctologist.  Some patients referred to that section of the suite as “ODDS AND ENDS”.

I was raised in the South where tea is sweet; summer starts in April; macaroni and cheese is a vegetable; front porches are wide and words are long; pecan pie is a staple; “ya’ll” is the only proper noun; biscuits come with every meal, so do grits; everyone is ‘darlin’ & someone’s heart is always being blessed.

Smiles and blessings for another month.  Trudy J

🏫 2023 August FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

 

AUGUST is 2/3 of the way through the year.  My how the months fly by when you’re older.  Life’s been good, interesting, and a challenge at times, but I’ve learned a lot and appreciate the “weather” of the years.  I hope you’ve had good “weather” with some challenging “weather” throughout your life.  Without the contrast, it would be dull and void of experiences which turn into wisdom if you learn from them.

Soon school will start for some of you and for the children of some of you.  As a retired teacher of many levels of education, except for college, I can identify with what I’m going to share with you below.

ELEMENTARY:  Okay, we’ve got some extra wiggles to work out before we can begin our lesson.  MIDDLE SCHOOL:  As a reminder, the weather is getting warmer.  Let’s all remember our deodorant.  HIGH SCHOOL:  For the love of Pete, put some clothes on!!!  This is a classroom not a beach party!!

The high school one reminds me of a moment when one of my girl students asked me if I wanted to see her new tattoo and piercing.  I had my back turned and answered, “Alright.”  When I turned around, she had pulled her jeans down passed her navel and showed me the tattoo and pierced area around her navel.  I was a bit surprised she’d do that and told her, “Oh my, Brittany, that’s too much information for this old teacher.”  She laughed and went to her seat.  I, mentally, tried to block out the whole scene.

A friend of mine has sent me some published statements made by the VP of the United States.  They really don’t make much sense, if you read and think about what she’s said.  On one particular one is---“IT IS TIME FOR US TO DO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING, AND THAT TIME IS EVERY DAY.”  I responded with, “We have been doing what we’ve been doing when we have been doing what we’ve been doing.”  I heard from him about my statement; he put 8 laughing faces icons as his reply.

Ahhh!!!  I sat down to a delicious cup of courage-induced liquid this morning to deal with another day.  There’s nothing like 16 oz. of freshly brewed, hot, dark brown, wake-up-girl, ground caffeinated beans.  I thought as I looked at the cup, “This morning’s liquid courage from Brazil is brought to me by Whitesnake’s ‘HERE WE GO AGAIN’ with Simon and Garfunkel’s ‘HELLO DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND’ overtures.”

Brenduhh came over all in a twit.  “Trute, I was talking with someone about an issue and they started an argument with me.  I tried to explain my position, but they just would not listen.  They got mad and said, ‘Oh Brenduhh, just clear your mind!’  I just quit talking to them.  What do you think?” as she explained the issue and her perspective.  I listened and told her she had a valid point in her perspective and to just go on with her plans and thinking.  I didn’t want to tell her ALL of what I was thinking-----“If you cleared your mind, it wouldn’t take long.”

I enjoy watching and listening to BORED TEACHERS.  It’s on Facebook and has various statements and actions from administrators to teachers.  The teachers’ replies run the gamut of funny to serious.  One entry was about lesson plans being expected.  I taught for a long time and found lesson plans to be a good guide for me at times and definitely for a substitute.  Of course, some of my lesson plans in the book looked like flight patterns at a busy airport.  Here is my reply to the lesson plans statement:  “Lesson plans helped the substitute when I was gone, and, also, helped me. BUT, when I was told I had to have DETAILED plans with book name, objective, prediction of outcome, and expected results----------THAT WAS AN INSULT. One time I wrote for Book name---The only red one on my desk with the subject clearly printed on it;  Objective----Get these terrorists to listen and learn; Prediction of outcome-----survival at its fittest; Expected results------leave school unassisted by law enforcement. The principal was not amused. I guess the broom stick up their butt was uncomfortable.

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.”  Albert Einstein theoretical-physicist

I stopped in to see Aint Daisy, recently.  I had been very busy helping a dear soul try to change a certain aspect of their life which caused them unhappiness and confliction.  “Hi, Aint Daisy.  I’m sorry I haven’t been over to visit this week.  I’ve been busy trying to help Sara Grace change an issue in her life which makes her unhappy.  She was trying, but another person had criticized her and her efforts so much by mentioning her past mistakes that Sara Grace was a mess.  I need a little advice from you, please.”  I told Aint Daisy about the issue and my efforts and suggestions I gave Sara Grace.  The wise one listened intently, rocked a bit, squinted her right eye, and then spoke:  “Don’t mention a person’s mistakes when they are trying to change.  That’s like throwing rocks at them while they climb a mountain, or throwing mud on them when they’re trying to get clean in a shower.”  I chose to mention that to the person who was criticizing and bringing up the past. ‘More wisdom from the Lady of the Holler.

Talking to a friend who was trying to lose weight, I jokingly mentioned rice cakes and what can be done with them.  She scowled and said, “Your joke is tasteless!”

I received a package from AMAZON.  I looked at the address label to make sure it was for me.  This is because I’ve played the game called “Guess what’s in the package and check the address label because I can’t remember what I ordered or when.”  I hope I’m not the only one playing this game.  Gods!!!!

I went to Wal-mart the other day.  To my surprise there was a sign over the self-check out which said, “EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.”

When Walmart started selling their brand of wine, there was a contest to name the various kinds.  Here are the entries:  12. Chateau Traileur Parc 11. White Trashfindel 10. Big Red Gulp 9. Grape Expectations    

8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" 7. NASCARbernet 6. Chef Boyardeaux 5. Peanut Noir 4. Chateau Des Moines 3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!  2. World Championship Riesling And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine: 1. Nasti Spumante

I saw a sign from Illinois Dept. of Transportation the other day.  It said, “Use your turn signals---the original instant messaging.”  If only people would obey the signs and use their turn signals, it would help so much with the swearing I have to do.

I was listening to a gal sing at a certain church.  I knew her and knew she found and uttered notes which weren’t written.  I’ve studied music and, when I was young, worked with a semi-professional opera singer.  So, the unwritten notes performed were a little difficult to listen to.  A friend of mine was with me and knew my background.  After the performance, my friend asked, “So what did you think?”  Being as diplomatic as I could, I responded with, “It brought tears to my ears.  I’ll probably not forget the performance, but I’ll try.”

“When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him.”  Euripides

I think of this when one of my children has been hurt physically or emotionally.  A mother aches right along with her child no matter how close or far they are from her.  And that “mama bear” protective mode, well, it does not wane-----at least for me it doesn’t.

Brenduhh came over and told me she was going to pay $250 to get all the toxins out of her colon with a cleansing.  I told her to save her money because Taco Bell has a deal for $5.00 or an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Tootles y’all.  Have a great month.   Always, Trudy J

🎆 2023 July FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

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We are more than half-way through this year!!  Soon the fireworks will be sounding letting us know of the freedom others have fought so hard to keep for us.  I won’t go on my soapbox about how I feel when someone starts complaining about this country, but I will tell you what I usually say to them if they spout off to me----“There is no one insisting you have to stay living here.”  And, to hear someone from another country complain, makes me livid.  I usually tell them how many shed blood for them to have the freedom to say what they have just said, or I tell them, “No one is keeping you from returning to the country you left.  Planes and ships leave every day.”  O.K. I’ll put away the soapbox I said I wouldn’t stand on.  God, bless America.

Brenduhh came over all in a huff.  “Trute, I got a ticket for going the wrong way on a one way street!  I wasn’t going the wrong way; I was going only one way.  The policeman in the other car was going the wrong way because the street was only wide enough for one car!!”  Sometimes trying to understand her reasoning is like trying to smell the color 9.  Then, she followed with, “Trute, do you know why 10 is afraid of 7?”  “No why is that, Brenduhh?” I queried.  “It’s because seven ate nine.”  Oh gods, she’s on a roll, y’all.  Then she told me, “Yesterday I told something to my husband.  He wasn’t happy with what I said and told me, ‘NO!!! and that’s no enzymes or buts!’  I have no idea what he was talking about.”  I told her, “I think you incorrectly heard him.  It’s ‘no ifs, ands, or buts’ meaning, his ‘NO!!” was the answer and he wasn’t going to discuss why with you.”  She still had the “What???” look on her face. 

I’ve discovered that I usually go through five mental stages of awakening in the morning---denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  There’s really another stage, but it’s verbal.  It’s, “Ohhhh, ugggghh, ummphff, yeesh; come on joints and bones, get with it and move!!”

I found a recipe for cream of chicken soup.  It’s wonderful!!                               ¾ C. low sodium chicken broth; ¼ tsp poultry seasoning; ¼ tsp garlic powder; 1/8 tsp black pepper; ¼ tsp salt; 1/8 tsp dried parsley; pinch of paprika; ½ C milk or half & half; ¼ C all-purpose flour.  In a medium saucepan, bring the broth and seasonings to a simmer.  In a small bowl, whisk together the flour and milk until incorporated and smooth.  Slowly pour in the milk and flour mixture and whisk until it starts to thicken in about 2-3 minutes.  You could stir in shredded chicken and sautéed onions and celery, if you’d like. 

During my teaching career, I had some interesting requests from parents.  Here is one for your enjoyment:  The young man was a senior in high school.  He decided to be disrespectful to me in my class, call me a few choice names, and refuse to do what I’d instructed him to do.  His behavior was an immediate pass to the dean’s office and a referral which would garner him time with me in Saturday morning detention.  A meeting was called by the dean which consisted of him, his mother, the deans, the security officer, and me.  We discussed what he had done and said.  The mother asked me to rescind my referral.  She said it would interfere with his opportunity of joining the Marines.  She, also, informed all of us that the Marines were not as tough as my discipline, and I was being unreasonable; but, the Marines were not unreasonable at boot camp.  The security officer about fell off his chair when she said all that.  He was a retired police officer from the K-9 division and had been a sergeant in the Marines.

Three very good friends and chefs, Brock Oli, Kohl Rahbee, and Sal Add decided to open a restaurant.  It was a vegetarian one.

The phone rang and a male voice said, “Grandma, this is your oldest grandson.  I’ve been in an accident.  I’m in jail and the assistant district attorney told me I’d need $9,000 to get out.  Please help me.”  I listened as he went on in a voice imitating physical discomfort and anguish.  I knew he was not my oldest grandson and decided to play with his mind, the little he had.   I told him, “Oh that is awful.  Let me see what I can do for you.”  He told me where to send the money.  I said, “I have twin grandsons who are my oldest grandsons.  Which one are you so I can write your name on the money order?”  There was silence, a click, then a dial tone.  I guess he didn’t know who he was.

My heart was heavy as I walked in the front door of my dear friend Aint Daisy’s house.  She noticed right away.  “Chile, ye have somethin’ heavy on yer heart, ain’t that right?” she stated as I sat down on the flowered, overstuffed seat on her couch.  “Yes, I do, and I’m sorry to bring it with me on my visit to you.  I just can’t seem to get over the death of someone I cared a lot about.”  There was some silence as she rocked back and forth in her favorite rocking chair.  I knew she was thinking and going to console me.  “I read a piece by a feller named Aeschylus.  I don’t really know who he was, but he must have been smart a-cause he said, ‘Even in our sleep, pain which can not forget falls drop by drop upon the heart.’  I’ve experienced the passing of people I cared a lot about.  The pain o’ grief brings wisdom and experience.  Grief is the dues we pay for a-caring and  a-loving.  It never goes away; it jess gets tolerable little by little.  So, child, do not begrudge yer grief.  It teaches that nothin’ is permanent, not even grief.”  ‘More wisdom from the lady of the holler.  I’m so glad I have her in my life.

As I was lying in my comfy, warm bed on a dreary day, I kept telling myself it was time to get up and get busy being a Dolly Domestic diva.  The radio was on and the song I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING (THE LAZY SONG by Bruno Mars) came on.  Gods!!!  How did they know that was my theme song at that moment?

I like to cook and have been doing it for a long time.  I’ve come across some measurements which are no necessarily in a cookbook terminology section.  They come handed down by good cooks and come with practice.  Here they are:          A dash: is roughly 1/8 teaspoon.
A pinch: based on the amount of spice you can literally "pinch" between your fingers, is around 1/16    teaspoon.
A smidgen: is approximately 1/32 teaspoon. It's often used when the recipe creator is trying to add the  tiniest note of flavor to a dish.
A skosh: just a bit or a smidgen, but not much. (That's about as clear as strong coffee, huh?)
A tad:  about as much as a skosh, but a bit more.
A slice:  wel-l-l-l, that is determined by how much you want.  A slice of my favorite pie, to me, is a lot larger  than a slice of avocado, which I don't really like.
A handful:  Oh gosh, this is immeasurable to me.  Look at your hand.  Now, look at the size of someone else's hand.  They're not really the same size, so the measurement of "a handful" is going to be different. A handful of M & Ms is a lot different than a handful of peas, isn't it?
Seasoning to taste: leaves the home cook in control of the final dish.

👀 2023 June FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

 

During my marriage to my Beloved---me for the second time and him for the first---he’d mention he’d found out how educational marriage was.  He told me, “With both of us being teachers, it seems I’m finding out how educational this reunion can be.  You’ve taught me:  toilet paper is best replaced when the roll is empty; grocery shopping is to be done on Sunday through Thursday with a list and full stomach; and even there is a right way to put a carton of milk in the fridge!”  Well, bless his heart.

Aint Daisy was on her porch rocking and humming.  “Good afternoon, Aint Daisy.  It’s good to see you and hear you humming,” I said as I stepped up on the porch.  “Do you mind if I sit a while and enjoy your company?” I asked.  “Oh chile, you jes come on up here and set down next to me.  I like havin’ you here, too.”  We chatted for a while, rocked, listened to the “critters” run about, and birds sing.  I noticed a plate of home made cookies on the little table.  She saw me look at them.  “Well, are ye a-wantin’ one or two, or are ye jes gonna look at ‘em, Chile?”  She asked with a chuckle.  I told her I was a little hungry and would like to have two.  She looked at her watch and saw it was going on 4:00.   “Oh my lands!!  It’s a-goin’ on supper time.  You come on in and have a bite with me.  I’ll bring the cookies, too,” she said as she started opening the screen door.  I followed her and asked if I could help her in the kitchen.  She gave me some things to do and told me to “set down right cheer in this chair”.  I’d set the table with all the necessary things and sat down.  She had macaroni and cheese, stewed tomatoes, green beans fixed the best way---her way, and some home made cinnamon apple sauce.  “Oh Aint Daisy, this is one of my favorite meals.  Thank you for going to the trouble of fixing this delicious food and for sharing with me.  You are so kind,” I said to her.  She smiled and told me, “Ain’t no trouble at all, sweet girl.  I like yer company.  There are two old sayin’s---Share and it comes back to you ten-fold; and friends who plant kindness gather love.”  “I couldn’t agree more, Aint Daisy,” I told her.  Ahh, more wisdom from The Lady of the Holler.

I went over to Brenduhh’s house to borrow a hammer I needed quickly.  She came to the door after I’d rung the bell about 4 times.  “Hey girl, I need to borrow a hammer real fast.  I hope you can find it,” I said in a hurry.  “Yes, come on out in the garage.  I know right where it is,” she assured me.  Well, we got out there in what I call “the den of inequity” due to all the stuff she has out there.  Lordy, I think a mouse would get lost trying to find some bait.  She pulled out things---talked about them; lifted others---talked about them, too; moved something about 6 times after explaining its history, then finally found it.  It took about 10 minutes.  Remember I said I needed it quickly?  Brenduhh doesn’t know what “quickly” means.  I think if she’d gone any slower a sloth would beat her in a race or she operates in reverse.  Maybe it’s both.

I’m not a gad-about----someone who goes out a lot.  I enjoy staying home; after all, we/I worked hard to pay for it, and it costs to live/be there whether I’m there or not.  I enjoy the “fruits of our/my labor”.  My “gypsy” daughter thinks I need to get out more and go more places.  At 78 years old, I need to have restrooms close by and able to use one sooner than someone who is 50.  I told her I DO leave the house at least 5 times a week to take her niece/sister to work about 2 miles away.  Her measured retort was, “Wow!!  Soon you’ll have to resole your shoes!”  She’s such a smarty pants.

Last winter on a cold, rainy week-end, a 40-something friend asked me what I was doing during the week-end.  I told them, "Sweetie, I'm 77 years old; arthritis is taking residence in my joints.  I wrapped myself in fleece and heating pad while I nibbled on dark chocolate M&M pieces."

Mr. and Mrs. Zippah had twin daughters Teeh Doodaah and Teeh Dayh.  They always were together, even in the same classes in school.  Finally, the principal had to intervene.  They were placed in separate classes.  It seems the original teacher had a lot of difficulty calling roll, not laughing, and then maintaining discipline afterwards.  She always called the students’ names last to first.  It seems the students, after the girls’ names were called, would burst into song.  She said, “Zippah, Tee Dodaah; Zippah, Teeh Dayh.”  The students would sing out, “My, oh my, what a wonderful day.  Plenty of sunshine heading my way….”, get up, clap and dance.

Brenduhh came over all bandaged, bruised, and walking slowly due to pain.  “What in the world happened to you?”  I inquired.  “Well, I was crossing the road and stopped to admire some clouds.  There was a tiny, tiny truck coming toward the intersection I was standing in.”  “Why didn’t you get out of the way?” I asked incredulously.  In the typical Brenduhh thinking she said, “Well, when I saw it, it wasn’t all that big, but when it got to where I was, it grew so big I didn’t have time to move out of the way!”  “Hmm, imagine that!” I said.

I admire those who spoke another language first and then had to learn English.  The English language is moderately difficult with Chinese being the most difficult.  With that said, imagine what it would be like to try to learn English by just reading it.  I look at the "ough" words.  That sound has "uff (as in tough)", "Oh" (as in dough), "aw" (as in thought), "ow" (as in bough), "oo" (as in through), "off" (as in cough), "up" (as in hiccough).  Then there is YACHT.  Looking at the way it's spelled, it should be pronounced "YAH-CH-T"; but, it is pronounced "YAH-T". Another is CWM, pronounced "COOM".  I think I'd give up about then.

I saw a message on the Department of Illinois Transportation sign.  It said, “Texting and driving is never wreck amended.”  What a great play on words.

A friend was having a difficult time adjusting to a sad happening in their life.  The showed me this: What’s done is done, What’s gone is gone.  One of the best life’s lessons is learning how to let go and move on.  It’s okay to look back at your memory but never let the past stop you from moving forward.

I told them this was true; however, one needs to stop and rest when moving forward. Thus, reflection on fond memories revitalizes and comforts, which promotes more forward action.

I was walking in the woods surrounding my house.  I saw a tree which had encapsulated a small, brick chimney.  I knew trees would do this to anything in the growth area.  I thought maybe it was an abandoned Keebler factory.  I walked around the tree looking for cookies.  There were none to be found.  I guess the elves ate them all.

I had a phone call from a fella who, with a very pronounced East Indian accent tell me his name was Tom.  He asked me how I was and told me he wanted to talk to me about my medical coverage.  I told him, “I’m very angry.  First, your name is NOT Tom.  It’s a name with 17 or more letters in it.  Second, I have asked that my name be removed from the call list, and obviously it hasn’t.  Third, I promise if you call me again I will talk to you about your car warranty!!”  He hung up.  Imagine that.

If Bobby Flay of the Food Network had a daughter, I think he should name her Sue.

When one of my five children was young, they had misbehaved.  They needed to be redirected in a positive way so their self-esteem wouldn’t be compromised.  Well, that’s what a well-known psychologist wrote in their book.  I call it “disciplined”.  The child argued as I told them, “Kindly put your buttocks on the third step of the stairs.”  The kid looked at me and said, “What??”  At that point, I became irritated and snarled, “Go put your butt on the step and stay there before I smack it!!”  They understood that statement for some reason.

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; some whenever they go.”  Oscar Wilde

Peace and smiles to you for another month.  Trudy 😃

♉♊ 2023 May FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

April showers bring May flowers, so it’s said.  May, also, brings sneezing, sniffling, coughing, watery eyes, and irritation due to pollen.  Just when I think I can open the house, along comes the pollen searching for a place to land like on my nose hairs, eye brows, clothing, head hair, furniture, and other places.  The blessings of May are the lovely flowers and warm sun.  I’ll enjoy those as I sniff, sneeze, cough, and dab my watery eyes.  Claritin is my friend for a month.

I was over at Brenduhh’s watching her make a meat loaf.  As she told me about the rest of the ingredients she puts in hers, she came to a glass bottle with dark liquid in it.  I asked her what that was.  She told me, “It’s wash yer sister sauce.”  I mentioned to her, “It’s usually pronounced---‘wus teh shire’.”  She got firm telling me, “wash yer sister sauce” was the way to say it.  I’m glad I know that ‘vas immer’ in German means ‘whatever’, and she doesn’t because I uttered the sentiment.

An author submitted a manuscript to an editor asking him, “Would you please publish the enclosed manuscript or return it without delay, as I have other irons in the fires?”  The manuscript was soon sent back from the curt editor with his terse note, “Put this with your other irons.”  This is a good example of an archaic word---OFFSCOURING, which means, “Rejected matter; that which is vile or despised”.  His reply probably took her to PUCKERATION---a state of mental agitation.

I stopped by Aint Daisy’s for a bit of chat, pie, and sweet tea.  I knocked on the door and was invited in “to set a spell”.  I saw a sweet friend of ours sitting in a chair across from Aint Daisy, they were in an involved conversation.  “Well, howdy, chile.  You jes go on in the kitchen and git yerself some pie an’ tea.  Emma Jean has come to chat a bit a-cause her heart is so heavy ‘bout her daddy’s sickness and bad memory problems.”  I responded with, “Well, if anyone can cheer up a wounded soul and give words of comfort it is you, Aint Daisy”, and I went on into the kitchen. She smiled.  After a bit, Emma Jean left.   Aint Daisy came into the kitchen and gently said, “I feel so sorry for her.  She’s jes full of troublin’ feelings about why such a kind man would have to go through all he’s a-going through.  She’s jes frazzled like an old cloth and cain’t sleep or eat much.”  “May I ask what you told her?”  I questioned.  “Whall, I told her, ‘Yer question has no acceptable answer for you. What is acceptable is those who love him ask that question, feel his discomfort, and are present even if he doesn't realize or recognize ‘em.  Sweetie, you are stronger than you think, but even oaks break under a certain amount of pressure. Willows bend with the pressure. So, try to bend, like a willow, and unload your sadness from time to time.  Nothing yer a-feeling is unnecessary or shameful.”  Wisdom from the Lady of the Holler.

As I mentioned about May is here, I forgot to mention it, to me, signals getting out my t-shirts to wear.  I have one I like a lot.  It is pink, has a crown on it, and says, “You may call me “QUEEN TRUDY; YOUR HIGHNESS IS A BIT MUCH”.  Another one is black with bold, white letters saying, “I HAVEN’T BEEN THE SAME SINCE THAT HOUSE FELL ON MY SISTER”.  I like it a lot, too.  I wore it to school one day when I was teaching.  A stuffy administrator saw it and told me he didn’t think it was appropriate.  I told him, “Some would disagree.”  I guess he was thinking about his sister.

I got to wondering where the term “t-shirt” came from.  Here is what I found:  “A T-shirt, or tee shirt, was originally worn only by men as an undershirt. Now it is defined as a short-sleeved, collarless undershirt or any outer shirt of a similar design. It got its name because it resembles the capital letter T in shape.”  That’s acceptable, but what about a long-sleeved shirt?  I don’t hear it being called “An M-shirt” because it looks like a capital M.

There were a few days in April that were not the most desirable.  It seemed I kept running in the same direction and couldn’t leave, I had no control, just about all activities were distasteful, and I was drained.  I compare those days to a colonoscopy prep drink.

Do you know what American English is called?  It is called “YANKEESE”.  You’re welcome.

Have you ever noticed some people want you to tip-toe around their feelings as they do the kicking conga on yours?  Well, I can dance, too, and the can-can is one of my favorites.

When I was younger, my mother would occasionally as me, “Have you earned your salt today?”  I didn’t know the meaning of that, but surmised it was important.  During my years of studying, I found out that salt was a precious commodity back in ancient Roman times.  The Roman soldiers were paid with an allowance which enabled them to buy salt.  The allowance was called a salarium.  Through the years, the word ‘salarium’ became ‘salary’.  So, the question my mother presented to me actually meant, “Have you earned your salary today?” or “Has your work been good enough to have a salary?”  I’m sure some of you have worked with one or more who have demonstrated their salary should be a pinch of dust, and some a wheelbarrow of salt.

A young woman was pulled over for speeding.  As the Texas State Trooper Officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, “I bet you’re going to sell me a ticket to the Texas State Police Ball.”  The trooper replied, “Texas State Troopers don’t have balls.”  There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he’d just said.  He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.  She was laughing too hard to start her car. 

I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.  I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to learn to solve.  I asked for prosperity and God gave me a brain and brawn to work.  I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome.  I asked for love and God gave me people to help.  I asked for favors and God gave me opportunities.  I received nothing I wanted.  I received everything I needed. — Hazrat Inayat Khan

I'd had quite a battle of wills with Tara when she was 9.  I went into the living room, collapsed into my leather chair, and breathed a sigh.  Guy, my beloved, was in his chair next to mine, looked over, touched my hand and said, "Honey, you didn't lose, now did you?"  I chuckled at what he thought was important and said, "Only my mind, m'love, only my mind."  These "battles of wills" have not diminished, but there is an element of possible reasoning and conceptual thinking.  She's 26, now, but we still have some "intense fellowships" from time to time.  Sometimes I have to laugh to myself because a long time ago, I told her biological mother, my daughter, during a tense session, "I hope you have a child just like you."  Little did I know I be raising that "child just like you" and dealing with those times, again.  Be careful what you hope for.  Please know, she and her brother have been such a blessing to me.

I know a person who had a lot of heartache to deal with in a year.  She posted: “The greatest thing I can ever do is become the best out of the worst I’ve been through”, and she did just that.  I sent her a note saying, “Strength from love and love from strength has come your way”, which assured and confirmed to her she was not alone and that others who loved her were beside her in person and spirit.

Peace, blessings, and smiles ---------Trudy

🎕💧 2023 April FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

 

Diamonds are the stone for April.  They are made from coal which has been under pressure for more years than you are old.  They are Earth’s hardest natural substance which are formed about 100 miles under the earth and are carried to the surface by volcanic activity.  They are the only gems made of only ONE element---carbon.  They are found in ever color of the rainbow.  They are a symbol of eternal love, trust, and faith.  They do not know how precious they are.  If you have been under pressure for a long time, imagine yourself as a diamond.  You will survive, and are precious to someone.

Brenduhh came over all irritated.  I asked her what the problem was.  She said, “I don’t know about anyone else, but I think I'm done with relationships for a while. I'm tired of the games, the crap, the lies, and the disrespect. I want something that's real, always have, but what I get are guys who want to play with my heart and pull me along when they can't be honest. This generation needs to grow up!!  She had a very valid point as I have noticed how insincere a lot of the dating people are.  I tried to soothe her ruffled feathers with these words, “It is difficult to find someone who deserves you and your goodness. It's better to be alone than to be with someone who does not appreciate you. Besides, are you really alone if you are in good company with yourself?”  She looked at me.  I could tell she was thinking.  “So who do I talk to if I’m alone?” she asked.  I said, “How about yourself?”  She mentioned she didn’t want to sound silly.  I asked her if she would like more tea. 

If you’ve ever studied a foreign language, you know how challenging it can be at times, especially with the spellings of some words.  Imagine how someone whose first language was NOT English feels when they see some of our words and the spellings.  Here are some examples:  Colonel, champagne, convalesce, eerie, doorjamb, asthma, indict, knead, queue, zucchini, hiccough.  The last one brings me to the “ough” words.  Plough, dough, cough, bought, rough, through.  Six different sounds for the same four letters of OUGH.  Yeesh!!!!

Have you ever remembered what you wanted to be when you grew up?  I don’t think many wanted to be a trash collector, outhouse cleaner, liquid fertilizer distributor/applicator, paper bag maker, bean counter, or crime scene cleaner.  Some people just fell into the job they have.  I hope the outhouse cleaner didn’t.  I wanted to be a judge.  My Beloved told me it was best I didn’t become one.  He said, “Tootsie, only the Queen of Hearts could get away with saying, ‘Off with their heads!’  It wouldn’t fly in a courtroom.”

I’ve met a lot of people in my long life.  As I listened to their life stories, I discovered some of the most interesting and amazing people I’ve met had the most hurtful, soul-wrenching, and painful experiences.  They’ve taught me strength, optimism, and perseverance.  You never know whose life story will teach you something good, nor the impact of your life story to another.  People come into your life for a reason.  Some stay for a moment; some for a little while; and some for a very long time.  Each one gives you something you can benefit from in your life.

Every one of you is richer than you think.  Here is why:  You have someone who loves you, a few good friends, food on your table, clothes on your back, and a roof over your head.  And if you have a cell phone, well-----“HELLO!!”

Education will never become as expensive as stupidity.  Some laugh at stupidity.  I guess it’s mindless entertainment to them.  I see it as dangerous----to you and to others around you.

No matter how badly someone needs to be strangled, it is still illegal.

As I’ve aged, 78 now, it’s become perfectly clear why the very early hours of the morning are called “the wee hours.”

My friend’s hubby was having back pain.  He went to an acupuncture professional and found relief.  My friend asked me if I’d ever had acupuncture.  I told her, “No, I never have, but I’ve been on pins and needles at times.”

My friend, Melodie, took me to one of her favorite furniture stores which specialized in different and unusual chairs and bean bag chairs.  She told me she was going to apply for the phone answering position.  When I saw the name of the store, I told her, “You won’t last here an hour at that job.  You’d laugh yourself silly.”  The store’s name was SHACK OF SIT.

One of the duties of the U.S. president is to greet and make small talk with huge numbers of people in receiving lines. At one such gathering, President F.D. Roosevelt became bored with exchanging little pleasantries. He didn’t think anyone was paying attention to what he said anyway. To prove his point, as he took each patron’s hand, he said “I murdered my grandmother this morning.” Most people smiled and moved on. Only one man actually listened to what Roosevelt was saying—and quickly responded, “She certainly had it coming!”  I had to laugh imaging his twinkling eye and the look on the man’s face.  Daddy did stuff like this; Mother always got so embarrassed.  He’d invite people into the house by saying, “Entrails."    I thought it was a riot, and it reminded me of doing the same thing, but not using the same words.   One time I was in a receiving line for some reason and got bored with the “duty” of smiling and shaking hands with people I didn’t even know.  One woman wearing soft pink, whom I knew to be a most insincere individual, was in front of me.  I held out my hand, smiled and said between clenched teeth, “There’s a booger on your nose.”  She kept on babbling and shaking hands.  Later I overheard her tell another I’d told her she looked like a rose.  Another time, same situation, about the 25^th person stood in front of me.  It was a male.  Well, you know one of the statements men dread hearing is, “Your fly is open.”  I couldn’t resist, and said it.  Expecting to watch him express embarrassment, he fooled me and said with a twinkle, “Well, do you see anything important?”  I came back with, “Important to whom?”  I’m glad I am an English major so I could ask a grammatically correct question.

Recently I’ve had a lot of trials and tribulations.  The Bible tells us to give thanks in the good and bad.  Well, that’s been difficult to do because all that has happened reminds me of a colonoscopy prep you have to drink.  Talk about a whole different meaning to “clean as a whistle”.

All experiences teach us something which we can use. A lot of times the experiences give us tools to use when we influence another who is young. Those who learn from their trials, tribulations, and experiences turn all that into wisdom. Wisdom does not come from nothing; and nothing does not come from wisdom.

I had a friend write me a long message.  Although there were some grammatical errors and some sentences needing revision to have more clarity to what she was saying, I understood what she’d written and sent a message back telling her I did.  She messaged me that she was embarrassed because I was an English teacher and she was “just a hillbilly”.  Here was my message to her, “If your written or spoken words do not make sense to the reader or listener, then there is need for embarrassment.”

Two things to remember in life:  #1. Take care of your thoughts when you are alone; and #2. take care of your words when you are with people.

🍀 💖💖 March 2023 FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

 🍀   💖💖2023 March FROM MY PERSPECTIVE  

Brenduhh came over with a very smug look on her face.  I knew just by looking at her, she was mighty proud of herself about something.  “Hi kiddo!  You look mighty proud of yourself about something.  Do you want to tell me all about it?” I asked.  “Oh Trudy, I’m so tired of my hubby slyly putting me down.  Two days ago, he gave me a roll of toilet paper.  On the wrapper it said, ‘WORD-A-DAY toilet paper’.  I asked him why he gave it to me.  He said, ‘Well, you think you know so much; so this will help you learn more when you use it.’  I didn’t say anything to him.  Today I found some toilet paper that had math problems on each sheet.  I bought it and gave it to him,” she boasted.  “What was the reason you’d do that?” I asked.  She puffed herself all up and said, “Well, now he can get more information and put it where his brain is.  He’ll truly be a smart ass,” she crowed.   Hmmm, I can tell wisdom has been chasing her, but she’s always so fast.

I found this and as an English major and teacher, it really does make sense.  Our language and phonics is difficult.  This will prove it. The Correct Way To Spell Potato: If GH can stand for P as in "hiccough," and OUGH can stand for O as in "dough," and PHTH can stand for T as in "phthisis," and EIGH can stand for A as in "neighbor," and TTE can stand for T as in "gazette," and EAU can stand for O as in "plateau"...Then the correct way to spell potato would be:                 GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU--------POTATO

Recently a smarty pants teen criticized me for not knowing how to work Snapchat or TiKTOK.  I listened as they crowed on.  Then I presented some every day things to do.  I wrote them a long message in cursive script and asked them to read it to me; took away their calculator and devised a math problem (story problem style) for them to do; had them make change without the cash register telling them how much change to give back to me; then, asked them to tell me the exact time it was on my clock, which had numbers, a minute hand and second hand.  They struggled and got frustrated.  I mentioned to them, “These are things I learned in school and am successful at doing.  I’ll show you.”  And with that statement, showed them.  Booyahh!!

My friend called me.  She and I enjoy most of the same music, and I heard she was listening to WIPE OUT by The Surfers.  I mentioned how upbeat it was and gave me energy and at this time it was my song.  She laughed.  “Oh Trudy, right now I’m so tired that moving is a chore.  My song would be more SLOTH BOOGIE,” she groaned. 

I have a friend who has multiple back conditions:  scoliosis, retrolisthesis (a spinal alignment disorder causing some of her vertebrae to shift outwards and away from her body), and disc degeneration.  She was upset and a bit angry about all of it as she told her sweet hubby about the dilemma for the day and how she was feeling.  He gave her a gentle hug and said, “You’re pretty bent out of shape, today, sweetie.”  He doesn’t usually say things which are funny, but this gave her the laughter she needed.  Laughter can ease discomfort, both mental and physical.

One can’t be reasonable and angry at the same time.  Anger is a wind that blows out the lamp of your mind.  Stay cool and you’ll rule.  Have you ever tried to gently touch someone when you’re angry?  The gentle touch is not readily there, is it?  Below is a statement from a famous writer and true example of this and their statement:

The single clenched fist lifted and ready, or the open hand held out and waiting.  Choose, For we meet by one or the other.  Carl Sandburg  This reminds me of a situation I had to deal with concerning a very angry, aggressive teen.  I’d denied the teen of what they wanted, patience was not their choice.  So, angry words and aggressive body language ensued from them.  I stood in my place, said a few words in a soft tone.  As they approached me with clenched fists, I held out both my hands with the palms up.  I asked them to put their hands on top of mine and to wait.  They did as I asked, which surprised me because they were so angry and ready to hit.  I told them I was going to gently touch their back and give them a hug.  Surprisingly they allowed me to do as I told them I would.  I felt them relax and laying their head on my shoulder, they started to cry saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”  I told them I knew they were and accepted their apology.  My calmness transferred to them through my hands. Peace was restored.  You can NOT gently touch someone when you’re angry.

I’ve mentioned that silence can be a formidable weapon or the best answer.  It can, also, be an opinion---a pretty good one at times.

I had to post these warnings to others:  Do NOT accept any requests from Pillsbury....they owe me dough. Do NOT accept any requests from Hormel.....it might be spam. Do not accept any requests from Jack, Jim, Johnny, Jose, or Capt. Morgan......they're all drunk. Do not accept any requests from Charmin.....her thinking is in the toilet.  Don’t accept any requests from Dove…..it flew the coop.  Don’t accept any requests from Snickers, either……it will just chuckle at you.

My friend came over for some comfort both editable and emotional.  She shared with me that the relationship between her and her hubby was rocky and tumultuous.  I gave her a cinnamon roll which I’d just taken out of the oven and a cup of tea to help soothe her emotional angst.  As she nibbled on the roll and sipped the tea, she said, “I’m so fed up with him I’m about ready to call Jolene to come and take my man!”

Did you know the best time on a clock is six thirty?  Hands down it’s the best time.

Sometimes through pains of life, we learn more than we realize.  Here is an example a former student of mine said:  "What is the saddest thing we endure in life? Watching our parents die, losing a spouse or loved one, watching a child die? I feel it's not being able to love. Without love, none of the rest matters. So if you grieve loss, know that you love(d) that person deeply, you were fortunate to share their life---feel blessed for that. Without great love, there isn't great loss. I’m not trying to remind anyone of their loss, only the love that you feel/felt."

"I woke this morning wondering why I have such a problem loving people, and this is why. I have experienced great loss. I never wanted anyone to get close so I would feel that pain again. It gets cold out there in the world without love. Remember how it felt to loose that? Then, remember someone out there loves you. Don't give in, don't give up, never ever stop getting up, because someone loves you the way you used to love someone else.”  My response to his realization:  “Deep thoughts, remembered pain, easing and enlightening revelations.”  Thank you, Andy T.

You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.  Ralph Waldo Emerson