😁 May 2024 FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

😁May is the start of blooming spring, the rebirth and renewal of life.  My Sweet Della, 
age 52, was 3 when she discovered the delights of a mud puddle and some of the creatures which lay 

beside it.  After thoroughly covering her yellow velour jumpsuit with “liquid earth”, she found one 

of those creatures.  She is a generous child and believes in sharing.  So, without a second thought, 

she held the big worm and tore it in half calling to her sister to come and get her fair share. 

I almost spit up.

Did you know dead skin eventually ends up in the atmosphere?  Just think, when they all get together, there will be another celestial body floating around.  The number of cells in the human brain can't be counted in a lifetime.  Well, in my experience and observations, that's for most of us.

Laugh of the day on me----There’s a new store in Peoria Heights, IL.  It's called COOKIES.  The building has been painted white with blue trim and the letters of COOKIES are blue.  I thought it was a bakery since it was named COOKIES.  Come to find out, it's a marijuana dispensary!!!!  Talk about FALSE ADVERTISING!!!

“Eat like a bird” alludes to how many birds pick at their food and seem to eat little, while “eat like a pig” invites comparison with the hearty enthusiasm of a pig when it eats. To eat one’s fill is to consume food until one is full, and a pregnant woman is said to be “eating for two” when her appetite increases. To eat someone out of house and home refers to when a house guest demonstrate one’s healthy appetite by exhausting the supply of food in the home of one’s host. (from Daily Writing Tips)

Ignorance spoken is really just words that had nothing better to do. 

Cenosillicaphobia (cen-o-silli-ca-phobia) is the fear of an empty beer glass.  Cheers!!

My friend, Carole, and I were having a fun conversation.  She started to yawn and said, “Well, its time for a nap.”  I told her, “I don’t usually have a schedule for a nap---they just happen.  I’m real leery of long stop lights.”

As I walked up the flat-rock walking path to her house, I saw Aint Daisy planting various flowers in the beds in front of the porch.  There were all sorts of pretty ones----tulips, daisies, hyacinths, pansies, and baby’s breath.  I was admiring her selection and told her, “Pansies are my favorite ones.  They have faces in the middle of them which bring a smile to me.”  She said, “Yep, they’s a message in each one.”  I wondered what she was meaning, so I asked.  “Wahll, jes a-look at ‘em.  Do ye see jes a face or sumptin’ else, chile?”  I told her I just saw faces.  She smiled, patted my hand and said, “Ye know the good Lord sends His angels to look out fer us.  They a-come in all sorts of ways, even a li’l flower.  Look closer at the pansy’s middle.  You’ll see an angel.”  I looked again and did see an angel.  Now when I see pansies, I see only angels, and I smile. I don’t seem to see the faces anymore.  More wisdom from the Lady of the Holler.

Being a teacher, even though I’m retired, I just can’t seem to help not teaching just about every time my daughter, Tara, and I get in the van and go somewhere.  I was mentioning about words and different meanings and parts of speech to her.  She sighed.  I asked her why she sighed.  In her unfiltered explanation she said, “Mom, I know you loved teaching, you still do.  Do you think you could just be ‘Mom’ for this trip and not a teacher?”  I turned my head and looked out the window.  I couldn’t look at her and not laugh.

Brenduhh came over all excited carrying two jugs of fluid.  "Trudy, look what I found!  Here is a jug of blinker fluid and a jug of horn oil.  Now no one can tell me, anymore, I need to get some."  She was so excited.  I read the label of the blinker fluid; "Trusted since 1776, Full synthetic blend, ID-10T Use Only, 710 Cap Compatible."  The horn oil stated:  "HORN OIL for 10,000 honks."  I told her that she had a rare find and wished her well as she skipped away.  My eyes kept rolling.

Do you remember some of the breakfasts you fixed your children when they were young?  I remember a lot of mine.  Mother was such a good cook.  She presented a lovely delicious table.  She’d fix eggs, bacon, juice, and toast; or Cheerios, milk, toast, and juice.  When I was a teen she couldn’t understand why I asked her to not fix eggs anymore.  I told her they didn’t stay with me until lunch.  She asked me to suggest some things.  So, I suggested her vegetable soup.  She usually made a huge pot of it every week in the winter.  I don’t know why she objected, but she did.  I guess she didn’t think it was “traditional” enough.  I convinced her, though, and when I got home that afternoon, I told her I wasn’t hungry by 9:00 a.m. like I was when I had eggs.  I, also, asked her to not fix GRAPE NUTS for me because they took too long to chew.  I usually was about out of “home time” by the time I ate breakfast….10 minutes at the max before I had to race out the door to get the bus.

Guy tells of the wintry mornings his dad would fix CREAM OF WHEAT.  He’d make it so stiff it’d be like mortar for a log house.  His mother would thin it out with milk.  I asked Guy if the cow ended up going dry due to the amount needed.  Guy mentioned he didn’t look forward to winter mornings.  I think of what I fixed my kids on school mornings.  Usually COCOA WHEATS was requested.  Then we got into that time thing and they ended up with CW smoothies.  That is when you put COCOA WHEATS in a 16 oz. glass, some sugar, a glob of peanut butter, and fill it up the rest of the way with milk.  Stir quickly and drink it down.  The kids said they could see the headlights of the bus and still have time for a good breakfast.  I’d stand at the door with a tray of empty glasses waving “bye” to them.  ‘Sort of felt like June Cleaver or Aunt Bee. 

While talking to a friend, she shared she’d had a particular rough time from January until our talk, and she didn’t think it was over.  I thought a while remembering some of the tough, challenging times I’ve had.  I told her, “The experiences of the past bring you wisdom, insight, knowledge, and peace. God teaches us, in so many ways, that His plans for us are to mold us into being the best for Him and others.  Tough times do not last; tough people and prayer do.”  She doubted she was very tough.  I reassured her with, “Well, if you weren’t, you’d have not made it this far with your sanity and determination.”  She smiled; so did I.

This will be a long read.  I saw it on FACEBOOK and gave my reply.  Here is all of it:
The military branches explained:  the Army, Navy, and Marines are all brothers in a family.  Army is the oldest and mom and dad made all their parenting mistakes with him.  The Navy is the middle son, they’re the explorers who left home and no one cared.  The Marines are the youngest who mom and dad let do whatever they want and they still have an inferiority complex due to their small size.  Well, mom and dad got divorced once all the boys were grown.  Mom got remarried to a rich guy and quickly gave birth to a fourth son, the Air Force.  Now, she loves him the most, showers him with the best toys, and buys him whatever he wants. When they go on vacation they fly first class, stay in 5 star hotels, and enjoy the finest meals.  The Air Force is spoiled rotten and his three older brothers have bitter resentment toward him for this.  Finally, there’s the Coast Guard.  The coast Guard is the rich step-dad’s son from his first marriage and none of the other brothers think or act like he’s part of the family.
My perspective:  The “middle son” has the biggest ships, teaches the “youngest son” all about being in the water and its dangers and even has SEALS as pets.  The first son got the dirtiest and is usually first-in when there needs business to be taken care of.  They call all the other brothers for help depending on what the terrain is.  The fourth son is always up in the air about something, but boy can he fly and make statements about his skills.  Now along comes the rich step-dad’s son.  He hovers over the dangerous waters the other can get themselves into and drops rescuers to them, comes and gets them with his boats, and doesn’t blink an eye  He doesn’t care if he’s part of the family or not.  He knows his skills and knows them well.  All together, they protect.  Hoo-rah!!

“There isn’t a single person on this planet who is entitled to treat you like crap.  Remember that.”  Emblazon it on your conscious mind!

Distant hugs, smiles, and wishes for all the good you’re entitled to.  Trudy J

☔ April 2024 FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

 

One of my readers, Kelly W., sent this to me.  It was the first laugh I had in the morning as I could see exactly what she was describing.  I want to share it with you:

So…couldn’t sleep. Have I ever told you I got whiplash from swatting a deer fly once? Yep! Had to wear a neck brace for 8 weeks. Also, this time of year, flies are sluggish and weird. I was reading my phone, in the dark, just trying to get sleepy. A fly would not stop crawling on my hands, dive -bombing my face. I swatted at it, but did not know where it went. UNTIL I felt it crawling on me under my nightgown! Jumped out of bed doing the “just get off me!” dance and figured it had flown off and was around planning its next sortee. I went to find the only flyswatter no one has lost…looks like an electrified tennis racket, and sat on the side of the bed with lamp on waiting for it to buzz the lamp. After about a minute, I feel it under my nightgown coming out from his hiding place under my “b****t! Let the dancing commence again! This time, I saw it fall and thank goodness, it had expired, as one might expect doing battle inside my nightgown with what lives in there. Held a brief trash bin-side service. Back in bed, but…Nope. Still not sleepy. And if hubby ever tells you he’s a light sleeper, just remember this and that he slept through all of it.

I felt defeated one particular day.  Defeated because I had so much planned in the domestic diva area, but every time I’d start to do one of the things, I ached somewhere on this old body.  Everything seemed absolutely daunting.  I sat down and thumbed through FACEBOOK, a mindless distraction most of the time.  One of my friends must have sensed I needed to read what she posted:  IT’S O.K. IF ALL YOU DID TODAY WAS SURVIVE.  Holy moley, that is exactly what I had done……survived.

EARLY VACUUM CLEANERS RAN ON GAS, NOT ELECTRICITY.  Well, I’ve seen “vacuum cleaners” sucking up meal droppings under the table---they run on four legs and have a wagging tail.

It’s easy to distract fat people; it’s a piece of cake.  It’s easy to distract squirrels; they’re nuts.  It’s easy to distract teachers; everything is chalked up to experience.  It’s easy to distract a laundry attendant; they’re such bubble heads.  It’s easy to distract a bear; just say “Aww, Honey.”  It’s easy to distract detectives; they don’t have a clue.  It’s easy to distract a child, just kid ‘em.  It’s easy to distract a grocer, give them some food for thought.

I learned a new expression---“fun hoover”.  It’s a person who sucks the fun out of something like a Hoover vacuum cleaner.

People who can’t communicate effectively think everything is an argument.

Word for the day:  HURKLE-DURKLE---a 200 year-old Scottish term meaning to lounge in bed long after it’s time to get up.  Hmmm, I do that often.  I love being retired so I can hurkle-durkle until the sun comes up.

Aint Daisy lives in the country. I asked her what those who visit her who live in the city ask, “How do you tolerate the quiet?”  She told me she tells them, “I tol'rate the sublime quiet very well.  It’s the noisy city I cain’t tol'rate.  Of course, there are some loud ‘Moos’ and chatterin' squirrels to put up with an' the birds tell me whar they are.  Then the coyotes sing the song of their tribe at night from time t' time.  The hooty owls call out t' let me know they are a-watching.  Yes, it can get a bit noisy out here sometimes,” she said with a grin and twinkle in her eyes.  Ahh, wisdom from the Lady of the Holler.

Masculinity isn’t toxic.  The absence of it is.  Weak men are abusive and spiteful.  Strong men are protective and loving.

My friend, Dianna, and I were taking a little road trip. She talked to me as I drove and let me know of different things to see. As I drove, nothing looked familiar---I had driven through the area a while before. I asked her to look at the map. She looked at me with a puzzled look and said, "This map is a little confusing to me. I think I'm your 'naviguesser’."

I love how the first thing they do at the doctor’s office is weigh you.  I was already nervous, now I’m depressed.  Maybe next they can bring up something I regret from my past and really get this party started.  My doctor noticed my blood pressure was a little high.  I told him, “Of course it is.  Your nurse insisted she had to weigh me.  She wouldn’t take my word for it when I told how much I weigh,” I grumbled.  “Well, Trudy, what do you weigh?”  He asked.  I told him, “Write this down on my chart.  I weigh too much.”  He chuckled.

Today will never come again. Be a blessing; be a friend; say words to encourage, comfort, heal, not wound. Give someone a smile, it may be the only one they get all day.  Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.

I was reading some Facebook posts.  I saw this enlightenment and found it to be so very true. I'd like to share it with you and my added statement:   "I've learned a lot this year.... I learned that things don't always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should.  And, I've learned that there are things that go wrong that don't always get fixed or put back together the way they were before.  I've learned that some things stay broken, and I've learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you."  Jennifer Weiner  I added:  “As I've discovered/learned, some times looking through the opened window, when the door has closed, gives you a better view and perspective."

Shakespeare had such a way with words; however, in today’s English the thought or meaning gets right to the point.  Here are a few examples I’ve found and interpreted.  Shakespeare: “What light through yonder window breaks?”  Now: “Yo, shut the dang window!  I’m sleeping!”   Shakespeare: “And others have greatness thrust upon them.”   Now:  “What?!  More responsibility on top of all this other work?!”   Shakespeare:  “We know what we are, but know not what we may be.”   Now: “Yep, I’m Noah. What!? You want me to build an ark?  I’m NOT a carpenter!  I have things to do!”   Shakespeare:  “Et tu, Brute?”   Now:    Really, man?  Really??!!   Shakespeare:  "Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice."   Now:  “You need to shut up and listen more!”  Shakespeare:  "What's done can't be undone."  Now:  “Yes, I ate the whole pie.  You want it back?”

Brenduhh came over to tell me she saw a sign advertising for a pickle ball tournament. "Trudy, there's a sign wanting people to play in a pickle ball tournament.  What a waste of good pickles.  Next there will be 'tomato ball', or 'onion ball', or 'head lettuce ball', or maybe even 'watermelon ball' !!"  Oh dear, oh dear, I don't dare mention badminton because she'd hear 'bad mitten' and go off on that.  I can hear her now, "How can a mitten be bad?"

Sitting in church, my stomach started to make the call of a love-sick whale.  No matter how I moved, the sound continued.  I remembered my biology teacher telling us that sound has a name.  This information came about because in the middle of a test, my stomach started to make the sound, and everyone heard it, including the teacher.  The teacher announced, "No, that's not a love-sick whale's call.  It is an empty stomach's sound.  The sound is called borborygmus (bor-bo-ryg-mus).  Having an inquisitive mind, I looked up the definition.  It said, "Borborygmus is the sound from the intestines of the fluids and gasses moving.  I thought, "Along the avenue of exit, which causes another sound, which brings laughter to boys for some reason."

As always, Trudy J