2018 October FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                                  2018 October FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

When you hear someone or others judging you, it’s not about you.  It’s about them: their insecurities, limitation, needs, bad memories, and feelings of inadequacies they felt a long time ago.

As a mom, my children would come to me with all sorts of “boo-boos”.  They were hugged, a band-aid was applied, and a kiss to make the “boo-boo” feel better.  Sometimes I’d have to remind them they’d been told not to do what they’d done to get the “boo-boo”.  When I taught high school, I had a student come to me with a paper cut.  He asked for a band-aid, which I applied.  I asked him if he wanted a smiley face drawn on it.  He smiled and said, “Please.”  Then, without thinking, I asked him if he wanted me to kiss it and make it better.  He declined that, but the smile on his face got bigger.  I think I’ll always “Mom” someone, even to another’s child.

There was a lot of teaching going on at the dinner table, when I was growing up. Daddy would throw out words to look up in the dictionary; Mother would talk about her childhood and those experiences living on a farm. Then when we were much older, my brother got a job in the communicable diseases laboratory at a local hospital. It was while eating mashed potatoes and peas, he told about a specimen he'd dissected and examined that day.  I tried selective hearing at his voice tone after that.

It's interesting to sit back and let your thoughts go when you hear a certain song. It happened to me recently.  I won't say which song it is, but I saw in my memory exactly where I was and who was with me. I saw our smiles, heard our talk, even felt a touch. When I was young and so in love.....you know that love which brings the thought, "This will last forever!!" He went his way; I went mine, but the memories were brought to a place, a person, a smile, and moist eyes. When I was young and so in love.....

This is my favorite month.  It is so colorful, air temperatures are just right, bugs are leaving, and I’m comfortable….it’s not too hot and it’s not too cold----sort of like the porridge Goldilocks ate.

Many of you know about my enjoyment of words and their origins (etymology).  I have found some which are common to most of us and would like to share and enlighten you....I was.  (Thanks "Daily Writing Tips" for helping me discover these.)

bumblebee: This word stems from the Middle English word humbul-be, but by association with bombeln, meaning “boom” or “buzz,” the initial sound changed.  caterpillar: The word for a butterfly or moth larva stems from the Old French word catepelose (“hairy cat”); the alteration of the third and fourth syllables to -pillar (from Middle English piller, meaning “plunderer”) may have developed from the notion of its destructive effect on plants.  This is probably where the "yellow god" of Peoria, IL got its name.)  cockroach: This word is derived from the Spanish term cucaracha and employs two words that, when combined, sound similar to the original word.  Is the song stuck in your head, now?  crawfish/crayfish: Although these are variations of a name for an aquatic animal, the second syllable in each is not equivalent to the word fish; the entire word, ultimately from a Germanic language, stems from the Anglo-French term creveis by way of the Middle English word crevis and is related to crab (and perhaps to carve).  Hmmm, in the South, where I lived most of my early years, it was "crawdad" or "crawfish".  greyhound (my favorite dog): The first syllable of this word does not refer to the dog’s color; it is from the Old English term grieg, referring to a female dog.  mongoose: The animal’s name stems from mamgusa in Prakrit, an Indic language. (It has nothing to do with geese, so the plural is mongooses. [Well, that clears that up, a lot.])  polecat: The first syllable of this name for a mammal in the weasel family (also an alternative name for the polecat’s relative, the skunk) is derived from the French term poul (the base of poultry), from its barnyard depredations.  "Country kitty" comes to mind, too.  sockeye: The name for a type of salmon does not refer to its eyes; it originates from an attempt to pronounce a Native American word for the fish.  white rhinoceros: White, in the name of this animal, is not a reference to its color; it stems from the Afrikaans adjective weit (pronounced "VY*T"), meaning “wide,” a description that distinguishes its wide upper lip from the pointed lip of the black rhinoceros. 

I grew up in the South, not the rural, but close to it.  I went to college in the South, West Virginia to be exact.  The small town had little road-side gas stations.  It was there I learned the difference between “fillin’ stations” and “gas stations”.  Fillin’ stations :  men sitting on a porch chatting about everything; customers moseying about inside, but not in a hurry; maybe some fresh baked something for sale or give away, samples provided; stay-on-your-face-a while smiles galore; locals called by their first names; some penny candy or priced so a child can buy one piece or 3 for a bit more; more smiles galore; wrinkled newspaper with articles circled and puzzles worked sitting on the counter for all to read; a bit of dust everywhere, but not a worry; you can pay at the pump, but customers would rather go inside to pay and chat; "Y'all come back soon, Buddy" told to the customer, if you're not known, "See ya soon {first name included}", if they know you.  Gas stations:  hurrying customers; all edible products wrapped in brand name cellophane; quick smiles and rushing out the door; rush, rush, rush; more paying at the pump; not much dust; not many smiles, either; "Thanks" mentioned, but no first name follows; not much for a child to buy for a penny or a bit more; newspapers for sale in a sealed stand that yells, “Pay before you read; We don’t trust you.”

 A lesson in life from an old tale:  A man starts down a mountain and along the way a colorful snake appears. The snake says, "Please pick me up and hold me close to your warm body. I am almost frozen." The man says, "I don't want to because you are a poisonous snake and you'll bite me." The snake assures the man he won't bite him.  The man picks up the snake, holds it against his body, and walks to the bottom of the mountain. The snake thaws out and when the man opens his coat, the snake bites him. The man screams, "You said you'd not bite me if I helped you. Now you did!!" The snake coldly looks at him and says, "You knew what I was when you picked me up," and slithers away.  Some people are like this, too…think about it.

We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public until someone brings out the bubble wrap.  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit and so is pumpkin. Wisdom is not putting them in a fruit salad.  I don't really want to hurt those who hurt me, but it is still on my mind and keeps me awake at times.  If you can’t be totally honest, at least be completely vague.

The word “homeowner” has the word “meow” in it.  Good luck trying to pronounce it correctly ever again.  I hear you already, “Ho-meow-ner”.  You’re welcome.

Bean is a four-letter word; it is versatile. It can mean a person’s head (use your bean!), money (he’s a bean counter.), secret (spill the beans), the least amount (he doesn’t know beans from bupkis.), nonsense (he is full of beans if he thinks Yankees can win this year), energy (she’s still full of beans at 102).  Oh, it is also the word for some green vegetables or legume (finish your beans!).

“It takes a minute to find a special person; an hour to appreciate them; a day to love them; but, then an entire life to forget them.”  To all my friends and loved ones, I wish you enough love, happiness, smiles, laughter, hellos, moments of peace, hope, faith, and memories to take you through the tough times.

Connor, age 7, was arguing with Charles, his step-father, about Charles taking away what the kids have:  the PlayStation, the pokemon cards, the cars , etc.  Connor said, "It's OUT RIGHT to have our stuff. You're violating our rights!"  So, the mini-lawyer was told he was WRONG and those items were a PRIVILEGE, not a RIGHT, and maybe he needs to study a little more before he gets legal-eagle again.  He tells his mother, "RIGHTS ARE IN THE CONSTITUTION!"  She suggested he go to bed and study more tomorrow.

Brenduhh rushed over to tell me about going to her first football game with her sweetie.  “I really liked it and seeing all those guys with big muscles, the fast running, and tight pants.  But, there was one part I thought was kind of stupid.  At the beginning, there was a flipping of a coin to see who’d play first, I think.  During the game all I heard was, ‘Get the quarterback!!’  Yeesh, it was only $.25.  Why’d they get all excited about a measly quarter?”    
                                                              Peace, y’all………….Trudy

2018 September FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                                      2018 September FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

School has started for just about every child of school age.  Here in my community it started in the middle of August.  That’s not so bad for the kids in my area because the schools are now air condition.  Usually, it is hotter than the hubs of Hades here in August; so, the administrator and boards of education got smart and air conditioned the schools.  Not all schools in this area are, though.  I remember those days when all I taught for about a month, with fans blowing air the speed of jets, was how many trips to the water fountain can one make before they have to use the bathroom. 

The Aztecs gave us the word “ahuacatl” which we’ve made into “avocado”.   Ahuacatl, literally means testicle, but you didn’t want to know that, did you?  HA! Now you do. Tomato is the official fruit of Ohio and Tennessee and official vegetable of the state of New Jersey. Arkansas and Arizona can’t make up their minds and call it both official fruit and vegetable. Finally, the US Supreme Court has decreed that it’s a veggie.  It is, also, acceptable to pronounce it “tuh-MAY-to” or “tuh-MAH-to”.   In the South and other rural areas, “mater” is used.  Is everything clear now?  

Brenduhh’s brother, Bubbuh came over asking if I’d please loan him my object grabber stick.  I asked him why he needed it.  He told me, “Welp, the FedX man brought me a large, brown envelope  and put it on my door mat.  The envelope says, ‘DO NOT BEND’ in bold letters, and I’ve been trying for 2 hours to pick it up without bending.” 

Aint Daisy asked me over for some of her delicious lemonade.  I never pass up an opportunity for that or to talk with her.  I asked her how she was doing and how her children were.  She is so blessed to have them live within 20 miles of her.  She told me she was doing just fine, but was a bit perplexed with the kids.  “It seems they just can’t find time to come visit at least one day a week for an hour or so.  I guess they don’t realize once I’m gone, I’m gone for good.  I’ve mentioned them visiting me, but they always seem to have a full-schedule of events all week which keep them, as they say it, ‘very busy.’  In my opinion, if yer too busy to call or go see yer mom, yer just too danged busy.  I hope they’ll have time to make it to my funeral.”  I ached for her and decided I’d go see her every week, invite or not.

I went to college in West Virginia.  I was from Pittsburgh and was used to urban and suburban living.  It was in the county hills I learned a lot about life and folks.  West Virginia is the only state in the Union to have acquired its sovereignty by proclamation of the President of the United States. West Virginia is considered the southern most northern state and the northern most southern state. Mother's Day was first observed at Andrews Church in Grafton on May 10, 1908.  It’s rolling mountains and hills are absolutely breathtaking in the Fall.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.  If at first you don’t succeed---skydiving is not for you.  “Oops” is not what you want to hear from your dentist.  I have found that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.  He who laughs last, thinks the slowest.  If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?                                                                                        

Daddy had a sweater he loved.  It was grey with a pocket on each side.  He'd worn it so much that Mother had to patch the elbow of the sleeves, rework the button holes, and sew on a button or two.  There were times he saw me a little distressed.  He'd be sitting in his chair with the old sweater around his shoulders.  "Seems like you have some burdens right now, Babe," he say.  I'd let him know that, yes, I was troubled, but was trying to work it out.  He'd smile and tell me, "Try this on.; you'll see why after a while."  I'd take it from his hands, put it up to my throat feeling the softness surround me, and smell the fragrance of his aftershave.  After a while, the tension in my shoulders eased and I felt some peace.  "Daddy, thank you for loaning your sweater to me for a while.  You were right, I feel better."  He grinned and said, "Sometimes actually feeling a garment of one you trust is all you need to bring you some peace."  He didn't mention the fragrance of that person brings peace, too.  There have been experiments done with fretful babies and animals using clothing of a caretaker placed so they can smell them.  They would become calm afterwards.   

Once, twice, thrice... so what is four or five, or more?  There is no word for four times, five times, etc., in the English language.  As a consolation, English does have words beyond primary, secondary, and tertiary. There are quaternary, quinary, senary, and so on.  Now you know, if you didn’t know already.

TO ALL TEACHERS OUT THERE:  Every student needs someone who says, simply, "You mean something. You count." -Tony Kushner, playwright (b. 16 Jul 1956)

A conundrum:  Why is it that BI-WEEKLY means twice a week, but it also means EVERY 2 weeks?  Hmmm??

Food for thought:  If your absence doesn’t affect them, your presence never mattered.  “Doing your best” does not mean working yourself to the point of a mental breakdown.  The mind replays what the heart can’t delete.

A former student gave me a mug.  It held 20 ounces of beverage and coffee was my choice that day.  I’d been struggling with a problem, by myself, which didn’t seem to wane.  As I drank from that mug using my right hand in the handle, the saying said, “With God, All things are possible.”  I thought and then turned it around using my left hand to hold it.  It said, “All things are possible, With God.”  There was clearly a message there for me.

Guy, my Beloved, told me, he and our son Stephen were riding in the car to go somewhere when another car sped around them and cut Guy off.  Stephen asked what Guy was going to do. Guy told him, "Oh he's stupid and I'm just going to leave him that way." They came up to the stop light and Guy was on the left side of the other car. The man's window was rolled down. Stephen rolled down his window, stuck his head out and said to the man, "You are really stupid, and Dad's just going to leave you that way." 

My daughter, Tara was having trouble with another student when she was in first grade. She told me about it and I taught her how to tell him off in Polish, but I never told her what it meant. She practiced the saying often. This one day she came home irritated. I asked her why she was irritated. She said, "John was bugging me again, but I fixed him. I told him that saying you taught me. Oh, here's a note from my teacher." I opened the note; it read, "Trudy, I know you're trying to teach Tara non-violent ways to solved negative interaction problems with others. Today she told John to "kiss my ass" in Polish. It was all I could do to not laugh out loud. I asked Tara what she had said. She told me she didn't know, but you'd taught it to her and it would fix the problem. My grandparents lived with us while I was growing up. They were from Poland; Grandpa had quite a temper.  All the best to you, Erika."   I was sure no one in this area spoke Polish. Thank goodness that was the ONLY phrase I knew.  Be careful what you teach your children to say; they will take it and use it……..that’s their job!!!

NEW WORD:  paragnosis:   noun: Knowledge that cannot be obtained by normal means.

Peace, smiles, and blessings……..Trudy

August 2018 FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                                 2018 August FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

I’ve wondered some things.  They don’t keep me awake at night, or in the day with an unplanned nap, but they do make me wonder.  Why is “monosyllabic” 5 syllables?  I have some green soap, but the foam and bubbles are white….WHY?  How does the medicine you take for something know where to go?  Why can I see something better when I look a bit away from it when I’m looking at it in the dark?  If the plural of goose is geese, why isn’t the plural of moose….meese?  Why does the hair on your head keep growing and stops at a certain point on other parts of your body? I.e. Your arms. (thank you Carole M. Wright)  Butterflies smell with their legs.. how do THEY know?? THEY say dogs see in black and white... how do THEY know?  And, who is THEY???  (thank you, Tammy C. Marquez)  Scientists say they can create living dinosaurs.  WHY???  Wasn’t the first round enough and we have crocodile and alligators as examples.  If you see a turtle without its shell……is it homeless? (thank you, Sam Saladino)  Why is there Braille at an ATM?  (thank you, Lisa Sipka)  Why do kids act nasty when I’m on the phone?  (thank you Rachel O.)

Brenduhh came over all excited.  “Trudy, I’m in love with a man whose name is “Didley Dildy”.  I asked, “So, if you would marry him, you last name would be “DILDY”?  She affirmed that.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  She asked why I was laughing.  I told her, “Be careful when you spell the last name.  It would be something if you replaced the “Y” with an “O”.

I had a very uncomfortable back ache.  I went to the store to get some over-the-counter relief.  The top two shelves had the aspirin, Motrin, and Advil.  The third and fourth shelves had EXCEDRIN PM, extra strength Tylenol, extra strength EXCEDRIN, Midol for killer cramps, and Bayer migraine strength.  The fifth and sixth shelves had ICY HOT, BEN GAY, SALONPAS, and infused back patches to stick on the area of discomfort……THE BOTTOM 2 SHELVES FOR THE PREPARATIONS TO RELIVE THE WORST PAIN!!!.  Yeesh!!  I guess, in the basement, you’ll find the coffins.

Have you ever wondered what a thesaurus has with its coffee in the mornings?  Well, the wondering is over ----------- Synonym rolls.

Just think, an opinion without 3.14 is just an onion.  If you’re wondering what 3.14 is, the answer is at the end of the column.  ****”pi—which is written as the Greek letter for p, or π—is the ratio of the circumference of any circle to the diameter of that circle. Regardless of the circle's size, this ratio will always equal pi. In decimal form, the value of pi is approximately 3.14.”  Thank you SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN

As a parent of 5 children, I’ve had wonderful moments of peace and silence; like when I’ve put the kids in the car and closed their door, walked around to my own door.  It’s like a Caribbean cruise.  Then there are the 5 seconds of peace and quiet after I’ve closed the bathroom door to be alone due to nature’s call or to bathe.  Suddenly I’m needed; fingers are searching for me to touch me from under the door; the “door crack” talk of words through smooshed lips; the incessant knocking with my name being called more than 13 times.  I’m sure some of you can identify and are adding to the list.

It hadn't rained much that week, so the walk up to Ain’t Daisy's was a bit dusty.  She was out there on the porch like she always is at 4:00; just rocking and watching nature prance around.  "Come sit a spell, chile.  You’re hot and dusty.  How ‘bout some sweet tea?” she invited; "You look like you got something on your mind."  I sat down in the white rocker and joined her in her rocking rhythm.  "Ain’t Daisy, have you ever cried so much you don't think you have anymore tears left?"  She just kept rocking and her silence invited me to say more.  "I've had a big cry today all about what some think is silly, but it hurt me badly.  I don't think I have anymore tears left."  She rocked and looked my way with a gentle smile on her face.  "Honey, whatever is heavy on your heart is not silly, nor is it anyone's business of why it hurts.  It hurts and that's that.  Did you know that tears are the safety valve of the heart?  People who hold in their sadness or even anger hurt themselves on the inside.  Tears are good.  When I've had a cry, it seems the tears wash away the obstruction of my vision, and I can clearly see much better the problem or the answer.  Just like the rain has washed away the dust so you can see the leaves and rocks so much better."  How interesting that she'd know one of my favorite songs....."I Can See Clearly Now".

In the check out lane behind me at the grocery store was a young mother.  I placed the divider so she could put her things on the belt.  I didn't see that there was only a small amount of space for her items; so, after I realized it, I moved so she had more room.  She thanked me and said, "That was kind of you."  I smiled and told her, "It is never wrong to be kind."  She agreed and told me she was trying to teach her children that.  I smiled as I was glad to see there was a young parent trying to teach her children about being civil and kind.  I say that because I'd just spent more than a nano-second in an aisle with a mother who was too busy talking on her phone to get her children, who were running up and down the aisle and bumping into my cart, to walk quietly beside her.  None of them even said, "Excuse me."  I leaned over to the young mother behind me and said, "You, also, might teach them a Marine rule I had on my bulletin board when I taught high school....."Respect those in authority; if you can't respect them, respect their rank."  She told me she liked that and would be repeating it to her children.  I have no doubt that she will.

What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness? -Jean Jacques Rousseau, philosopher and author (28 Jun 1712-1778)

I was talking to a friend who needed a chiropractor in her insurance company’s “network”.  I mentioned a few in our area, but each wasn’t in it.  She said her insurance company is in Chicago and knows very little about downstate.  I don’t like Chicago and said, “Good luck with that. Chicago does not have a clue about anything south of the Cook County line. If that were the title of a song, there'd be NO TUNE or LYRICS.”    Peace……….Trudy

July 2018 FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

2018 July FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

Here are names of towns in the USA which are numbers:  Six, WV; Sixes, GA; Sixes, OR; Eight, WV; Twentysix, KY; Fifty-Six, AR; Sixty Six, SC; Seventy Six, KY; Seventy-Six, MO; Eighty Four, PA; Eighty Eight, KY; Ninety Six, SC; Hundred, WV.

How Will You Know? department:  Polish polish; wound wound; read read; bow bow;  bear bear; bass bass; desert desert; entrance entrance; lead lead; moped moped; object object; row row; tear tear; wind wind; number number.  Now, try to use them in a sentence with them not separated by another word or words.  Example:  He was putting putting last in his golf game.

My friend, Melodie, sent me this new word for my vocabulary.  Thank you so much, Melodie; you know I’ll use it.  HONEYFUGGLE:  verb:  to entice or deceive by flattery or sweet talk.  EXAMPLE:  Don’t think I am unaware of your attempts to honeyfuggle me.  My thought is, “Only a nithing would try to honeyfuggle me.”

I made roasted Brussels sprouts in a cast iron skillet in the oven. They are/were delicious. I offered some to Tara, my daughter. She said, "No thank you." I said, "You don't know what you're missing." She replied, "Oh yes I do, that's why I'm not accepting." I'm kinda of glad I don't have to share.

A former student of mine had this observance.  It is profound and very true.  “Never bet on another man, always bet on [you] to win. If you win you gain respect for yourself, if you lose you gain humility.”  Andrew Thomas

I went to visit Ain’t Daisy.  She was sitting on her porch rocking in her favorite rocking chair.  She saw I was a bit miffed and told me to, “Come and sit a spell.  We’ll talk.”  She asked what was bothering me.  I told her, “I have a friend who thinks she knows it all.  It irks me because there are so many times I want to share a happening or excitement of mine with her and she goes off on all she knows about that and more; thus, squelching conversations.”  Ain’t Daisy is old and wise.  She rocked a bit, then stopped and looked at me.  “Child, in all my days I’ve seen and heard this of some; it even has happened to me.  But, I just let them talk because I know for a fact, when one thinks they know it all, they don’t know much.  Ain’t no use of you letting someone put out your campfire when they only have a thimble full of water.”  I just love this lady.

Well, it’s the season for road repair. Those orange diamond shaped signs which say “Right lane closed ahead” or “Left lane closed ahead” are not in a foreign language. HOWEVER, as I’ve traveled the roads, I find some people read the sign as, “RIGHT LANE/LEFT LANE MIGHT BE CLOSED AHEAD. SO JUST STAY IN YOUR LANE AND MERGE AT THE ABSOLUTE LAST BLOODY SECOND IN FRONT OF THE ONE WHO PAID ATTENTION AND GOT IN THE CORRECT LANE AND WAS PREPARED, CAUSING HER TO SLAM ON HER BRAKES, SAY WORDS HER MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT HER, AND SHOWED YOU SHE CAN COUNT TO ONE IN A NANO-SECOND.”

I remember those toys of skill which had a wooden paddle, rubber “string”, and ball attached to that string.  I had fun with them utilizing them to improve my hand-eye skills.  My parents utilized them and used them against me………….usually on my butt.

There are days I’ve found that the supply of swear words is most insufficient to meet my demands and needs.

Do you ever feel alone….really alone?  I have and do from time to time.  I forget that there is a presence with me which I overlook until I start thinking about all those who have walked through my life.  Some have stayed for a very long time….73 years, some for as long as I can remember them being with me, some stayed briefly, and some stayed for just a very short while.  Each one had a purpose and was placed with me by a divine spirit, I believe.  I need to stop thinking I’m alone because I really am not.  That spirit is always with me.

I've been thinking about the word "mosey".  It's not commonly used in the cities of the North or some of the big cities of the South.  It's more a term used in the comforting rural areas....like 1/8 to 1/4 of a mile off the "hard road".  When one moseys they walk slowly and are usually deep in thought.  You just can't mosey and not be thinking.  Daddy used to tell me, "If you keep moseying along, moss will grow on your legs."  That was his way of telling me to hurry up.  Daddy was from the South.  I've found I can't "smell the roses" if I walk fast; I can't solve some problems while walking fast; and if I need to say some words of prayer.....well, moseying will take care of it much better.

Opposition by others is usually proof you’re on the right track…..EXCEPT when a child opposes.  I think it’s their job to oppose most things mentioned in raising them to be respectable, responsible contributing members of our society.  I’ve had 5 of those beings, and never did any of them immediately accept what I was saying, suggesting, or encouraging.  They are all on their own now.  When we talk, sometimes I hear me from the past.  Holy cow!!!  Something sunk in and stayed.  I don’t dare mention that, though.  I’d probably get some opposition.

One time my Beloved and I went to Wal-Mart together.  That’s an adventure in itself, folks.  He saw me browsing in the book section.  Knowing how much I enjoy reading, he was sure he was going to be stuck there for a while.  He groaned, “I suppose you’re going to be here a while.  I know how much you love books.”  I looked up long enough to say, “Yes, I do love books; especially CHECK books.”  I thought about sending him out to another store to get some things from there, but I knew the men of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years not asking for directions; I was sure things hadn’t changed.  We got home after a long arduous shopping time, and unfortunately got into some very heated, intense fellowship.  Mad as all get out, Beloved bellowed, “I’m leaving!!!”  He stormed out leaving me standing there wondering, “Do I shut the door or leave it open?” Dang! Decisions, decisions.

I have a little book by H. Jackson Browne called LIFE’S LITTLE INSTRUCTION BOOK.  He wrote it in 1991.  There are over 500 suggestions and life’s observations of his; I added a few of my own.  Here are some:  “What’s right it right; what’s wrong is wrong” (followed by)  “If it’s right it won’t be wrong, if it’s wrong it won’t be right.” “Be what you is because if you aren’t what you is, you isn’t what you are.”  “Stop to appreciate the silence; not everything of importance has sound.”  “Learn to agree to disagree, but don’t lower your values.”  “Silence can be your best response; it can, also, be your best weapon.”  “To be empathetic is lasting; to be sympathetic just takes care of a moment.”  “Not always is common sense common.”  “Give away at least one smile a day.”  Be appreciative of how hard someone works so that you may benefit from their labor of love; tell them, too, and give examples.”  “Live your life and treat others so that when you arrive they are happy, and when you leave, they are sad.”  And, wisdom from my mother:  “Treat your friends like family and your family like friends.”

"I'm sorry", an APOLOGY: The act of not meaning you were wrong or the other person was right. It means your relationship is valuable to you and more important than your ego.

I don’t know you, but if you’re reading this right now, we have something in common.  I wish I could remove every bad moment that’s ever happened to you, but I can’t.  They are growth spurts and learning curves of life.  So, this will have to do-----I hope you have some part of your day that is just the way you wanted it; I hope you remember you’re loved and appreciated by someone; I hope you smile at someone and they give you one right back.  But, most of all, I hope you have a peaceful moment every day of your life and talk to a Higher Power because you want to.

Peace, smiles,                                                                                                                                                                and blessings to you.  Trudy J

2018 June FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                                      2018 June FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

I was telling my sweet daughter, Della, that someone had told me I had OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).  She laughed and said, “No Mom, you have CDO.”  I thought for a while and then asked her, “What is CDO?”  She grinned saying, “OCD, but in alphabetical order.”

We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It's easy to say "It's not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem." Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes. -Fred Rogers, television host, songwriter, and author (20 Mar 1928-2003)

When you are focused about hiding certain things, you get sloppy about other things.

I’ve come across some adages, also known as laws, in my years.  HANLON’S LAW:  “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”  MURPHY’S LAW:  “Anything which can go wrong will go wrong."  SEAGAL’S LAW:  “Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.”  COLE’S LAW:  When something solid is shredded----like a head of cabbage.

While watching a favorite program of mine, I was introduced to an ethics I was not aware of by the term, but by the action of it.  DEONTOLOGICAL ETHICS:  “people who are committed to doing their absolute best for people who depend on them, no matter what the consequences.”  That is what the actor stated as the definition.  The actual dictionary definition is:  Deontology states that an act that is not good morally can lead to something good, such as shooting the intruder (killing is wrong) to protect your family (protecting them is right). According to Kant, morality is affected by rational thought more so than by emotion.  I think about the people I’ve encountered who are in this category:  my parents, some teacher colleagues, firefighting personnel, and emergency room doctors and nurses.  I’m sure you have encountered someone who practices deontological ethics.

I play a solitary word game just about every day.  It is used on my Nintendo DS.  It was my daughter’s, but after playing it for a week or so, I told her she’d probably never get it back because I just love it.  She agreed it was mine FOREVER.  While playing it, I’ve come across many anagrams----A word or phrase formed by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The English word anagram goes back to 1589.  I’ve broadened my horizon and now try to think of multiple words together which are anagrams.  I find it interesting that some words and group of words are related somehow.  Here are a few: Villainousness: an evil soul's sin;  parliament: partial men; George Bush: He bugs Gore; Clint Eastwood: Old West action; slot machines: cash lost in ‘em; punishment: nine thumps; the eyes: they see; togas: goats; this: hits: sh**: election results: lies—let’s recount; eleven plus two: twelve plus one; dormitory: dirty room

This question was posed to me:  “Have you ever gone out of your way to help someone and then find out how ungrateful they really are?”  I have and told the individual who asked this, “Yes, I have.  That is their burden, not mine.” 

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. -John Ruskin, author, art critic, and social reformer (8 Feb 1819-1900) The list is endless with works of art, acting, music, sports, and even parenting.

In April I mentioned “wandering” after posting: “Not all those who wander are lost.” -J.R.R. Tolkien, novelist and philologist.   I told of my sweet Daddy’s wandering adventures in the hardware store and letting me tag along giving me an education I’d not thought about.  Some of my readers replied to my tale.  It seems I’m not the only one who finds going to the hardware store an interesting adventure.  One told me they’ve asked their hubby to stroll with them down the aisles and explain some of the products.  To her dismay, he goes, gets what he came for and then leaves.  I told her I’d go with her and channel Daddy as we picked up things and talked about them.  One told me, “I have always loved to tootle around Nena's on Forrest Hill. It has everything and in a smaller area than the big box stores. The people who work there actually know what you need and where it can be located. They even know what a “thingamabob” is and how it is used.”  I shared, “I stumped one of them with a ‘What's-a-majigger’. You should have seen the look I got. I think he was all of 20. But, if you ask an old soul, they'll know right away. We speak the same language, evidently.” 

I often have stuff that comes out of my mouth that sounded fine in my head. However, once it is out even I am like "what?".

I was explaining to my girlfriend’s son that his mom’s car had some panel lights come on for a reason I wasn’t sure of.  He told me to unfasten the gas cap and put it back on, and that could be the reason for the lights.  I did and it wasn’t secure as I thought it should be.  I told him, “I pushed and screwed, pushed and screwed to no avail.  The lights are still coming on and the gas cap is loose.”  As I was telling him, he kept trying very hard not to laugh.  I asked him what was so funny.  He said, “Your description of what you were doing was rather carnal.”  I thought and started to laugh, too.

Some observances to ponder:  “I don’t have time to worry about who doesn’t like me…..I’m too busy loving the people who love me.”  “Education is not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think.”  “There are two things to remember in life:  Take care of your thoughts when you are alone, and take care of your words when you are with people.”  “I’ve seen better days, but I’ve also seen worse.  I don’t have everything I want, but I do have all I need and want all I have.  I awakened with some aches and pains, but I awakened.  My life may not be perfect, but I am blessed.”  The last one is my on-going thought.  I had a friend who always complained about work/job, family, the day, etc.  One day I’d had enough and said, “You’ve complained about your work……there are many who don’t have a job and an income.  You’ve complained about your family…..there are many who’d love to have a family who love and tolerate them.  You’ve complained about the day…………YOU AWAKENED this morning-----some haven’t.”  They were very quiet.

PEACE and BLESSINGS TO YOU……………….Trudy J

🌸May 2018 FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                              2018 May “FROM MY PERSPECTIVE”

Last month I left you with some little-known words.  I’d like to finish that list as the remaining ones will be as useful to you as the April ones.

LANSPRESADO:  Someone who always conveniently shows up with no money.  FROBLY-MOBLY:  Neither well nor unwell.  (I think “Meh” fits in here, too……”A little frobly-mobly, a little meh.”)  CACOETHES:  Irresistible urge to do something inadvisable (eating TIDE pods, lighting flatulence on fire, tasing yourself….the list is endless, I’m sure).  SNOLLYGOSTER:  a shrewd,  unprincipled person.   Thank you, Kelly W. and historyhustle.com

“Making the decision to have a child----it’s momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”  Elizabeth Stone.  I know this for a fact.  I birthed 3 children and adopted 2.  I think of them every day as they go out into the world to make their marks.  I’m sure my mother thought about her 3 as we moved away, in distance from her, to start our lives.  Once you become a mother, your entire world changes and you are really never alone in your thoughts.  When I’m missing mine so much, I pull up the memories of the past smiling, nodding, and having a tear or two.    They walk around the outside of my body and creep through my mind, never leaving my heart.  Happy Mother’s Day to those of you who have been blessed with a child and to those of you who “mother” others’.

The brain’s been busy.  The people in hell…..when they get angry, where do they tell the others to go?  Why is there a handicapped parking spot in front of a liquor store?  Why is there a Braille message plate next to the drive-up window at a fast food place or a bank?  Why are some people so mean by asking me if I want to go for a run and do I like creamed okra?  Do pigeons walk “peopled toed”?  “In a New York minute.”  Well, what about Atlanta?

I believe a person earns respect, but the position/rank has already earned it.  So, if you can’t respect the person, respect the position/rank.  That way, you will not look bad, be considered disrespectful, get into trouble, or all of the aforementioned.

“If you’re confused or stuck or at a point where you don’t know what to do, then be a good listener.  Be a helper.  Be inclusive.  Be respectful.  Be a smile.  Be a hug.  Be kind.”  Bryan Skavnak

One week in February, central Illinois had freezing cold, torrential rain, wind, and warm and humid temperatures.  Mother Nature said, “You can’t fit all four seasons into one week.”  Illinois said, “Here, hold my beer.”

If your love wasn’t enough, what makes you think your words will make a difference?  It’s sad, but true in a lot of cases…but not all. 

I saw a sign the other day.  It was profound and so true:  “I am not what you think I am.  You are what you think I am.”  We all wear many “hats” and under each “hat” is a slightly different me.

I have a friend who was really depressed and was briefly thinking of ending their life.  They shared their thought with me.  Suddenly all this came out of my mouth, “I can see God at the gates when you arrive.  He’s sitting down with one hand on his knee, elbow out and the other hand on His hip.  He says to you, ‘WHAT are you doing here, NOW?  Do you want me to send you to where some of your students told you to go?  You’re going back because the ice cream shop is closed for a while, the freezer is broken at the house, and you’ll just start to complain and bother the others.  If you insist on staying, you’ll have nothing but Brussels sprouts, cheese, asparagus, and spinach to eat.’ (these are hated foods of this person)”   My friend about fell off their chair laughing.

Children do not always believe our warnings as parents, especially when shopping.  I have always told my children, “Stay with me, do not stray, tell me if you want to go look at something because I will keep on walking and perhaps leave without you.”  Sure enough, someone didn’t believe me.  As I was exiting the doors, over the loud speaker came, “If Trudy R. is still in the store, please come to the service desk and get your charming child who has eaten ½ a chocolate cake and is very messy.  Please hurry.”  I strolled to the service desk.  My look was ominous, so was the customer service representative’s.

My friend Melodie was telling me about an experience she’d had at the dental office.  Here it is for your enjoyment:  “When he lays me back in that torture chair, and I'm staring at his 'knee caps', I cup my hand and say, ‘We're not going to hurt each other, are we?’ ;) One time I had a great dentist with a great sense of humor….very quick-witted. I told him, ‘I'd rather have a baby than have my teeth worked on!’ His reply was, ‘Make up your mind so I know how to adjust the chair!’” LOL!

At what age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for an entire village? If you're Italian, it won't happen. You'll have left-over pasta for the next 3 meals and to share. Then there is the spaghetti sandwich, left-over spaghetti/macaroni/pasta for the chili, or a salad, or goulash, or just heat it, put butter on it and Parm. cheese----lots of Parm. I bet you’ve forgotten about the slucking of spaghetti and the whip lash on your nose? It can be a contest for the kids.

In March, I was driving on a local road trying to dodge the potholes.  A police officer pulled me over, got out and continued to sniff the air I was exhaling. I asked him what he was doing. He said he was checking me for alcohol because with the way I was driving he was sure I was drunk. I told him I was stone sober and that he must have forgotten we live in Illinois where IDOT is not prompt in filling the potholes, and that I didn't want to lose my VW Bug in one of them.

TRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA (tris-ky-dek-uh-FO-bee-us) noun Fear of the number 13.  I’ve always liked the sound of this word and the way it feels on my tongue as I say it.  It’s something about the flowing of the Tr, Sk, and K sounds that makes me feel like my tongue is skipping around in my mouth. 

What fills the heart is reflected on the face.  May your heart be filled with love and peace.

CONNOR-ISM:  Charles/Dad: “Connor, look both ways crossing the street.”  Connor: “I KNOW Dad. I grew up in the streets!”  Ahh, the wisdom of a 6 year old.

“Don’t kill people with kindness, because not everyone deserves your kindness.  Kill people with silence, because not everyone deserves your attention.”  Book of Prosperity

I’ve used this with some people.  It is better to remain silent and have them wonder what you’re thinking or going to do, than to verbalize what you’d like to do and maybe get in trouble.  Also, some people do not understand kindness, thus silence is the better choice.  Besides, when your silence is directed toward them, they will leave, and that’s probably what you wanted them to do in the first place. 

Peace, good will, and smiles to you.  Trudy :)

2018 April FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                                        2018 April FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

Kids don’t realize what their energy does to parents.  Here is an example from my friend, Kelli, who has 5 of all ages under her roof.  “My teens today “who is the whiskey in the fridge for?"   Me: .....not you.  Them: right but who is it for.   Me: its a gift.  Them: for who?  Me: Dad.  Them: why?  Me: BECAUSE WE HAVE KIDS. NOW GO AWAY  

A former student of mine wrote this.  I wanted to share it with all of you because I know his “history” and am proud of the man he is now.

“There are different types of courage, the person fighting for their lives from something they can't see inside themselves , the women with anxiety that has the courage to get up and face the day , the man that gets up and goes to court that knows he's going away , the soldier on the battlefield that faces death each day , the mother that knows she'll have to raise three children by herself if she leaves him , the man who knows if he leaves her his heart is going to break , the child who never had a real choice that has to start life at a disadvantage yet makes it anyway . Different types of courage, yet all the same, "Brave". ~ Andrew Thomas~”

The brother of a friend of mine took his 3 month old son to the pediatric emergency room at a local hospital.  Here is his account of the verbal exchange he had with a medical intake person.  You just can’t make some things up.  “We took JJ to get checked (he's been real congested). In the peds ER, the registrar comes and asks me a few questions:  ‘When was he born?, Current address; Has he been out of the country or been around anyone who has in the last three months?;  Correct way to contact his mother and/me; Does he speak English?’ (No... not yet, he’s 3 months old.)  Here's the best one: ‘Is your son single, married, or divorced?’  The look the dude got from me must've been priceless because he quickly said, ‘I have to ask this.’  No you don't, fool; use some common sense!  But instead of that being my reply, I simply said, "No, he's divorced."

“Not all those who wander are lost.” -J.R.R. Tolkien, novelist and philologist (3 Jan 1892-1973)  Daddy used to wander all over a hardware store after he got what he went in there for.  I went with him one day.  I thought I was going to be bored----girls don’t usually go into hardware stores like Daddy did.  He got what he came for, and then started to “wander”.  As he slowly walked down an aisle, he stopped to pick up an item.  He showed it to me and told me what it was and its use.  He did this for 5 aisles stopping multiple times and explaining each item he picked up.  The man was not lost, and I got quite an unexpected education.

My granddaughter came up with this gem when she was little.  When this was said, her brother, Will, was crawling around meowing pretending to be a cat. CJ says, "No, Will, be a doggie!" and then he does. Then she says, "Ok Will, enough barking, be a boy, be a boy!" He doesn't...then I hear " AAARrrrrggghh! Will, be a GOLDFISH!" LOL!  This is told by her mother.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness.”  ---David Tutu

Sometimes when the people you love hurt you the most, it’s better to stay quiet because, if your love wasn’t enough….do you think your words will matter??  Tjr  To be hurt by someone you love is a part of life. To be able to keep quiet is a part of being mature. To be able to not choke the snot out of the hurter is a part of Karma, because Karma will get them and you'll smile.

A man followed a young girl into a department store’s bathroom in Texas saying he self-identified as a woman.  The man’s teeth were knocked out by the girl’s father, who says he self-identifies as the tooth fairy.  Alrighty then!!! 

There are some names of individuals which are very appropriate for the profession they’ve chosen.  Here are some examples I know of:  Euell Sue….attorney; Mr. Wyre and Mr. Tapping…..detectives; Justice Wong…..judge; John Vroom…..motorcycle dealer;  Henry Ford Carr…..automotive dealer;  Dr. Bonebrake…..chiropractor;  Betty Boring….English teacher;  Lois Screech….vocal music teacher.  Three of these people I have known and have had a difficult time not smiling/laughing when introducing them to others.

Do you remember the “pet name” you were called by your parent(s) or grandparent(s) when you were young?

Mother called me, "Trudy Boo"; Daddy called me "Babe"; my Beloved called me "Tootsie"; and my grandmother called me “Trudy Girl”. Oh, how I'd love to hear them call me those names, again.  This stirred a memory, didn’t it?  Perhaps your memory ran down your cheek or turned your mouth into a smile.  It did mine.

Aint Daisy and I were sitting on the porch discussing directions to places.  She reminded me, “Ya know, chile, up North those folks give you directions using North, South, East, and West.  That’s sort of confusing, especially when you might be directionally challenged; it’s, also, boring.”  I agreed with her and told her I have trouble with directions to somewhere which have those words in them.  She told me, “Down here, we give some color to the directions, landmarks, and throw in a bit of local information.  Here’s an example:  Down yonder a piece passed Joe Hanyes' 3 silos which ain't never full, but he keeps 'em standing making shade for the cattle, you’ll turn left at the first dirt road.  Go a piece and you’ll see a little yellow house with a porch that has 2 rockin’ chairs on it.  Sarah Gallup likes to make sure her visitors come and sit a spell and drink some of her fresh lemonade."  I drove the directions and sure enough, there was everything just sitting there like Aint Daisy described.  Sarah made lemonade and we talked and rocked until the sun was low.

I enjoy Ellen DeGeneres’ sense and delivery of humor.  Here is one of her good ones:  “Catch-and-release, that's like running down pedestrians in your car and then, when they get up and limp away, saying -- Off you go! That's fine. I just wanted to see if I could hit you.”  This statement reminds me of the time I was in a grocery store pushing my cart down an aisle.  I made a quick turn and skidded passed a lady, also, pushing her cart.  I thought I’d bumped her, stopped, and asked her, “Did I bump you?  If so, I’m very sorry.”  She replied, “No but thank you.”  With a twinkle in my eye I said, “How about if I roll back and try, again?”  She started to laugh, and then tears rolled down her cheeks.  “I’ve had a really rough 2 days, but your question, which made me laugh, has relieved some of my burden.  Thank you so much.”  I gave her a hug and told her she was in my prayers.  I got to thinking that a moment of silliness caused more than a moment of relief for someone else.

Why is it that when you are struggling with something you can not change, it sometimes changes you?

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. -Stendhal (Marie-Henri Beyle), novelist (23 Jan 1783-1842)  Hmmmm, sounds a bit political to me, but then again, it sounds biblical, too

Most of my readers know I love big words and unusual ones, too.  Here are some which are old ones and not heard often, but I plan to revive them:

FUDGEL:  Pretending to work while actually doing nothing.  GROKE;  Someone who stares at you while you eat, hoping you’ll share (like your dog or cat!!).  DYSANIA:  Extreme difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. (I’m sure most of you will be using this one.  Use it to tell your boss why you were late.)  PERENDINATE:  To put off until the day after tomorrow.  (Another useful one!!)  KAKISTOCRACY:  Government by the least qualified or worst people.  (I’d better keep quiet about this one.)  UHTCEARE:  Lying awake and worrying about the day ahead.  SLUGABED:  A person who stays in bed after the usual or proper time to get up.  PHILOGROBILIZED:  Having a hangover, but without admitting to actually drinking.  GRUMBLETONIANS:  People who are angry or unhappy with their government.  SNOLLYGOSTER:  A shrewd, unprincipled person, especially a politician.  TWATTLING:  Gossiping idly about unimportant things.

ULTRACREPIDARIAN:  Somebody who gives opinions on subjects they know nothing about (She’s nothing but a twattling ultracrepidarian.) Thank you, Kelly W. and historyhustle.com

That’s it for this month.  Smiles and blessing to you for all of April.  Try not to be a twattling ultracrepidarian.  Trudy J