April 2015

­2015 APRIL “FMP”

“Some things you keep---like good teeth, warm coats, bald or thinning-haired husbands.  They’re good for you, reliable and practical; and, so sublime that to throw them away would make the garbage man a thief.  So, you hang on, because something old is sometimes better than something new, and what you know is often better than a stranger.  These are my thoughts, they make me sound old, old and tame, and dull at a time when everybody else is risky and racy and flashing all that’s new and improved in their lives---new careers, new thighs and other body parts, new lips, and new cars.  The world is dizzy with trade-ins.  I could keep track, but I don’t think I want to.  I grew up in the fifties with practical parents---a mother, God bless her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it.  A father, God bless him, who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.  My parents weren’t poor---just satisfied.  Their marriage was good, their dreams focused.  Their best friends lived barely a wave away.  I can see them now, Daddy in trousers and an old shirt and Mother in a house dress---lawn mower in his hand, dishtowel in hers.  It was a time for fixing things:  a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, and the hem in a dress.  Things you keep.  It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy.  All that re-fixing, re-heating, re-newing, I wanted just once to be wasteful.  Waste meant affluence.  Throwing things away meant there’d always be more.  On two cold Spring mornings in the chill of the rooms, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t any “more.”  Sometimes what you care about most, gets all used up and goes away, never to return, except for the memories.  So, while you have it, it’s best to love it and care for it and fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick.  That’s true for marriage and old cars and children with bad report cards and dogs with bad hips and aging parents.  You keep them because they’re worth it, because you’re worth it.  Some things you keep---like a best friend that moved away or a classmate you grew up with.  There are just some things that make life important…people you know are special…and you KEEP them close!  May each of you keep the other close; I do you.” Author unknown and Trudy.

Before you assume…learn the facts; Before you judge…understand why; Before you hurt someone…feel; Before you speak….think.

People's memories are maybe the fuel they burn to stay alive. -Haruki Murakami, writer (b. 12 Jan 1949)

I had plans of watching a documentary on Jesse James of the old West.  I knew Brenduhh was very interested in those gunslingers of the late 1800s, so I invited her over to watch it with me.  As the show played on, featuring actors in the roles and actual photographs of the scenes and areas, she said, “Trudy, look at all the people Jesse James rode with and all the people involved in his life.  It’s in color, too.  Wow!!  Those were some pretty good cameras then.”  I looked away, rolled my eyes, and said, “How about some more popcorn?”  

          

This was sent to me by a friend who can identify with the contents of this man’s speech at THE CONFERENCE ON AGING.  Well, heck, so can I.  Here is the link: www.youtube.com/embed/LR2qZ0A8vic?rel=0 

Have you ever been so upset with someone you want to call them terms they probably don’t know and you continue to remain a nice person?  Well, I surely have, and that is one of the reasons I have learned to tell off some people in 4 different language and some made-up of my own, which at my age is forgotten, but it gives me the opportunity to reinvent another one.  Here are the terms:  VACUOUS---lacking ideas or intelligence; ULTRACREPIDARIAN---one who gives opinions beyond one’s area of expertise.   MYTHOMANE---one having a tendency to exaggerate or lie.  LIBERTINE---a person who is morally unrestrained.  SCURVY---mean or contemptible. FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION---categorizing something as worthless or trivial.  O.K., you probably don’t want to try this one, but it surely does make you feel better if you can.  It will confuse your opponent, too.  (pronunciation:  flaw-C-nau-C-nilly-hilly-pilly-fuh-K-shun)

“People often find their truest self in the worst of circumstances.”  Edward Zwick, director, producer, screenwriter of the movie DEFIANCE (2008)

TRAVEL PLANS FOR 2015: I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there. 

“A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.”  Bruce Lee

The teenaged daughter became a catfish the other day….all mouth and no brains.  When she finished her barrage of disrespectful words and attitude, I told her, “Well, it is the 19^th of the month.  Since you can’t seem to talk with respect to me, called me names, told me you hated me and that I was a terrible mother, you’re going to have a lot of time to think about all your words and how to improve your attitude.  You will have no phone or television for 19 days.  Hand over your phone or I will have it disconnected.”  She rolled her eyes at me.  After that, I told her, “While your eyes are up there, have them look for your brain because you’re demonstrating you’ve lost yours.”  She told me 19 days later, “Mom, that was the longest 19 days EVER!!  I’m very sorry for what I said.”  I guess I did something right.

In February we had a lot of snow.  One day it snowed twice and each time was a goodly amount.  My teen daughter was asked to shovel a bit so we could get out.  She did the first time with no discussion.  The second time she said, “Mom!!  Can’t you do something about all this?  You always seem to be able to fix a problem.”  What a nice feeling to think a teen has that much confidence in your ability to fix problems, especially when the day before you were told, “Oh, what do you know?”

A former student called me the other day very upset about something another had said to them about their character.  I asked them, “Is what they said true?”  They told me, “No, it is not.”  I asked, “Do you truly believe it is not true?”  A bit miffed I’d ask the almost same question twice, they replied, “NO, it is not true!”  I gently told them, “Then if you truly believe and know it is not true, you can hold your head high and feel good about yourself.  You can’t feel badly about yourself when someone disparages your character unless you give them permission.”

Have you ever really thought about your brain?  So many times we just ignore it forgetting that it is an awesome organ.  It functions 24 hours a day from the day we are born.  It only stops when we are taking an exam or fall in love.

A lot of words have an opposite meaning using the same amount of letters.  HATE has 4 letters, so does LOVE; ENIMIES has 7 letters, so does FRIENDS; LYING has 5 letters, so does TRUTH; HURT has 4 letters, so does HEAL; LAZY has 4 letters, so does WORK or BUSY.

This came from a Marine Corps general stationed in Afghanistan:  "So with all the kindness I can muster, I give this one piece of advice to the next pop star who is asked to sing the national anthem at a sporting event: save the vocal gymnastics and the physical gyrations for your concerts. Just sing this song the way you were taught to sing it in kindergarten - straight up, no styling. "Sing it with the constant awareness that there are soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines watching you from bases and outposts all over the world. Don't make them cringe with your self-centered ego gratification.  Sing it as if you are standing before a row of 86-year-old WWII vets wearing their Purple Hearts, Silver Stars and flag pins on their cardigans and you want them to be proud of you for honoring them and the country they love - not because you want them to think you are a superstar musician. They could see that from your costume, makeup and your entourage.  Sing 'The Star Spangled Banner' with the courtesy and humility that tells the audience that it is about America, not you. And please remember, not everything has to be sung as a black spiritual.  We're getting a little weary of that.  Francis Scott Key does not need any help."   All I can say is, “AMEN!”

TODDLER:  Emotionally unstable pint-sized dictator with the uncanny ability to know exactly how far to push you towards utter insanity before reverting to a lovable cuddle-monster.  TEENAGER:  Emotionally unstable gallon-sized fool with the uncanny ability to make you think words your mother never taught you, helps you confirm and understand why some animals eat their young, and who can push you towards utter insanity screaming, “You’ve ruined my life!!!” and 10 minutes later confuse you by cooing, “Mom, you’re the best.”

INTEGRITY:  choosing your thoughts and actions based on values rather than personal gain.

Teens are always trying to look and be different while being the same.  What an oxymoron.

I have a friend who loved everything she had and wanted to take it with her when she died.  She passed away and had the most beautiful casket available.  It was closed for some reason, though.  As I walked up to it, I heard a horrible noise coming from it.  I slowly opened it.  Her cat had just about torn the inside to smithereens.

Our English language is difficult.  Here are some examples as to why:  OW as in how:  foul, loud, house,
flour, hour, sour.  OO as in you:  cougar, louvre, tour, tourist.  OR as in for:  court, mourn.  O as in toe: 
moulder, moult, soul.  UR as in URN:  journal, journalist, journey.  schwa (an indeterminate uh sound) moustache. Then there is the OUGH sound.  though (like o in go); through (like oo in too); cough (like off in offer); rough (like uff in suffer); plough (like ow in flower); ought (like aw in saw); borough (like a in above).  Class is dismissed!

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from avian flu.  A bird pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.  However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.  MTA then hired an ornithological behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."

Living the blessings, Trudy  :)