2015 March

2015 March From My Perspective

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a friend whom I’d not seen for a while.  She was telling me of her activities and about some of her positions at her church.  She’s a very tolerant gal who enjoys working with people.  She told me of the snide remarks some of the women of her church make about various other female members and why they won’t work with so and so.  Among some of the statements were:  “She doesn’t dress well.”, “She always wears sandals.”  “She sits with the poorer people during the church services.”  “She doesn’t give enough in the offering plate.”, etc.  I told her, “Hmmm, all of these statements tell me that if Jesus came to your church, He’d probably be turned away.”  

I have a bumper sticker which says, “Honk if you think I’m sexy and smart.”  Staying idle at green lights really improves my self-image.

Guy and I had had some intense fellowship one time at Mother and Daddy’s.  He asked Daddy how to win an argument with me. Daddy said, "Let me write down the ways to win an argument with Trudy, of which I have learned from winning arguments with her mother over the last 52 years." He wrote on a piece of 8x11 paper, HOW TO WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH TRUDY. Then, he handed it to Guy. The paper was blank.

Water is the only substance on Earth which is heavier as a solid than it is as a liquid.  If you doubt this, look at your glass of water with some ice in it.  Where is the ice?  It is on the top and the water is below it.  You’re welcome.

What is a flat tire in northern Alaska?  A sled dog taking a nap.

My beloved and I took a little trip.  After about 50 miles, he stopped at a gasoline station.  “I think I need to fill up with some gas,” he said.  “I reckon you do.  From what I’ve been hearing for the last 50 miles, it sounds like you’re all out.”  He told me to hush.

“In religion, faith is a virtue. In science, faith is a vice.” -Jerry Coyne, biology professor (b. 1949)  So, what is the thinking process of an ordained minister who teaches science?

Some say ministers have a pretty easy job----they only work 1 day a week.  That may be so, but their boss doesn’t make suggestions---He makes commandments.

I really like the quotes used at the end of CRIMINAL MINDS on CBS.  They are profound and cause me a lot of thought.  Here is an example:  “There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow that it hides itself in insanity.  There are times when reality is nothing but pain and to escape that pain, the mind must leave reality behind.”  Patrick Rothfuss

People who ignore you, until it suits them to talk to you, are NOT worth your friendship or your time.  When they speak to you, be cordial.  I’m usually cool, but polite.

Oh gods!!! The 18 year old just came to me and told me she wants a pet. Her friend has a new batch of kittens and she's told her friend's mother she'd like to have one. I told her, "Why do you want one? You have me!!!" She said, "You don't count. You're a human." Tossed aside again. Sniff .  My friend said, “Kitties are very therapeutic! ...and soft, and cuddly, and calming, and teach responsibility! Can't think of a reason NOT to have one!”  I responded with, “My mink jacket is ‘soft, cuddly, and calming.’ It also doesn't have to be fed, watered, taken to the vet, declawed, poops, or anything else living needs. I told her, when she asked what she could have as a pet, ‘You can have a rock.’ She stormed off saying, ‘That is the LAMEST pet EVER, you troll.’”

One of my readers, Nan in Ohio, sent these bits of wisdom to me.  I can identify with a lot of them.  Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!· 

The day the world runs out of wine is just too terrible to think about! (Right, Charlene, Sharon, Barb, and Tricia?)  I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!  I don't need anger management, I need people to stop honking me off!  Old age is coming at a really bad time!  When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!  Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!  I don't have gray hair, I have "wisdom highlights".  My people skills are just fine, it's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.  Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.  If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.  The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please; I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".  I'm going to retire and live off of my savings; not sure what I'll do that second week.      When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?  I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my kids took it!  Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!  Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand, anyway?  Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW.  Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.    Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?  At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

I don’t want any of you to think I’m a braggart at what I’m going to tell you----I got the highest score on my scale today.

Here’s a good recipe for a family or church pot luck.  It is delicious and comforts the soul.  It is called Chicken and Dumpling Casserole.  Add some peas and carrots or chopped broccoli tops for color and veggies.                              2 lbs. of chicken (I used all thighs, my preference)
1 C. all purpose flour
1 C. milk
2 T. unsalted butter, melted
1 10.5 oz. can cream of chicken soup
2 C. chicken broth (I used the water my chicken cooked in)
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. black pepper    Place the chicken in a pot and cover with water. Cover and cook over medium heat for 1 hour. Remove chicken from pot, save the water, and let cool. Shred the chicken and place in the bottom of an 11x7 baking dish. Whisk together the flour, milk and butter, pour over the chicken. Whisk together the broth, soup, salt and pepper, pour over the casserole, DO NOT STIR. Bake at 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes.  Let sit for a few minutes before serving.

When you are reading this column/newsletter, please know that today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be.  You’ll do some mature things, and you’ll do some immature things, BUT you will do.  Live your life to the fullest today, and with no regrets.

“To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.”  T. Paine

I wear red glasses.  I wear them everyday.  Some people have asked me why I wear red ones and not another color, especially at my age.  (I guess they think that at 70 years of age I should wear wire rims or something else.)  Here is what I tell them, “Two defining forces offered to die for me---one is Jesus Christ and the other is the American soldier.  One died for my soul; the other died for my freedom.  It is out of respect and to honor them that I wear red every day of my life.”

I’ve mentioned how powerful silence can be at times.  Here is another example of my belief:  “When someone is going through a “storm”, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words.” 

With my arms holding many things, I was going to open a door to a public building recently, when a man opened it for me.  I said to him, “Thank you so much. Chivalry is not dead.”  He smiled and said, “Chivalry never died.  The gentleman in most men did.  Being male is a matter of birth.  Being a man is a matter of age, but, being a gentleman is a matter of choice.”  I, also, think his mother had some influence.

He who listens to truth is not less than he who utters truth. -Kahlil Gibran, poet (Jan. 1883-1931)

What do you a call a crazed collector of an old train engine who has a reason for leaving it uncovered out in the elements to get all rusty?  He has a loco motive.  I hear you groaning very loudly.

I don’t know what is happening to me.  I forgot to make my memory foam bed.

“You have enemies?  GOOD!!  That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”  Winston Churchill. 

I just saw some new state slogans.  DELAWARE:  “The first state and that’s about it.”  GEORGIA:  Without Atlanta we’re Alabama.”  IDAHO:  “More than just potatoes.  O.K., maybe not, but they’re real good.”  KENTUCKY:  “5 million people; fifteen last names.”  ILLINOIS:  “Where a politician’s term in office and prison sentence are roughly the same.”  INDIANA:  Dan Quale’s favorite country.  KANSAS:  “Come for the corn; stay for the tornadoes.”  MINNESOTA:  “10,000 LAKES AND 1 gazillion mosquitoes.”  WEST VIRGINIA:  “Our obesity problem can be explained in two words:  pepperoni rolls.” (That is for sure!!)  There are more, but I don’t want to offend some of my readers.  Those who were offended---------get over it, sweeties.

Everyone has been emotionally hurt, whether it is a big hurt or a small one.  These hurts have created obstacles in our path of healing.  Just as a hurdle jumper moves over the hurdle (obstacle), so must we in order to make the hurt work for us---not against us.  It can be painful facing past hurts/obstacles, but when we face them head-on, it is then we can move forward and heal, making that hurt/obstacle work for us.

Instead of saying, “Have a nice day,” say, “Have the day you deserve.”  Let’s keep Karma working in the right direction.

     Blessings and smiles…………Trudy J