2016 November FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                  2016 NOVEMBER “From My Perspective”

Brenduhh came over for coffee.  We got to talking about the old days before computers and all that.  I asked her, “Have you ever wondered what your parents did before the internet and television shows which are on 24/7?”  “Yes, I have.  I’ve ask my 18 brothers and sisters and they don’t know either,” she responded.

It’s soup and chili season now at my house.  Each of them is home made and served with home made bread or saltine crackers.  I try to be a lady and break my crackers on the dotted line provided by the manufacturer.  Well, the dotted line is nothing but lies.  Some sadistic, evil person has designed them to NOT break on the line.  This is a nightmare for a person with neat nick tendencies and borders on OCD. 

When Beloved and I went to Omaha, NE during one 4^th of July weekend, I did most of the driving.  I like to chew gum during the tense times of driving.  Sometimes it cracks or pops when I least expect it.  I didn’t know Beloved’s annoyance with this until he said, “Stop snapping that gum!”  I kept chewing trying to not do it, but the inevitable happened, it snapped, again.  He growled, “Either spit it out or stop chewing.”  I said, “I’m sorry.  Gum helps me do something with my jaws.”  “Eeeee, gods, Trute, don’t they ever rest?” he groaned.

Do you remember the comic strip CALVIN AND HOBBS?  I do and have some of the books sitting on my coffee table.  There were many words of wisdom between those two.  Here is one of them stated by the strip’s creator, Bill Watterson:  It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning. (Calvin)-Bill Watterson, comic strip artist (b. 5 Jul 1958) [Calvin & Hobbes] Here are some more:  Calvin: "Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?” Calvin: As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.  Calvin: Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.  Calvin's dad: Being a parent is wanting to hug and strangle your kid at the same time.

I’ve known that scientists are trying to find the center of the universe.  I, also, know some people who are going to be disappointed to find out it isn’t them.

With this election, the decision is so parallel to an electrical socket……Do I put my silver knife blade in the top one or the bottom one?

I unfortunately had a few words with a person who just makes me wince at all the drama and garbage they try to bring me into.  They got angry and stormed, “I’m just not going to talk to you anymore!!”  As I watched them walk away, I called, “Thank you for taking out the trash.”

Some words of wisdom:   “Confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong.” Peter T. McIntyre  “True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island... to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing. ” Baltasar Gracian “Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” Somebody

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.  Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.   I'm great at multi-tasking -- I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. 

Did you know the NFL team, Baltimore Ravens, got its name from Edgar Allen Poe who was from Baltimore?  Did you know that a haberdasher is an owner of or worker in a store for men’s clothing or small items used for making clothes?  Harry S Truman, our 33rd President, was a haberdasher.  Did you know that something can be a genuine imitation, but it’s still an imitation?  Did you know that if you get a job at Hooters the job application is a bra and they say, “Here, fill this out.”?  Why does JC Penny’s have an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor”?  Did you know that the traditional chef’s hat has 100 pleats, which symbolizes the number of ways you can cook an egg?  Did you know that "Only the mediocre are always at their best."?  Jean Giraudoux

Have you ever talked with someone and sworn it was like folding a fitted sheet with no corners?  You roll your eyes, get an eye ache from that, shake your head and get a crick in your neck, then mutter nasties under your breath and they hear you.  CRIMMINIES!!

Brenduhh came up with a terrific solution for keeping cake moist and fresh…..”Trude, you need to eat it all at one sitting.”  Gods!!  Sometimes she comes up with great ideas.

SOCIOPATH:  “They are often well liked because of their charm and high charisma, but they don’t care about other people.  They think mainly of themselves and often blame other for the things that they do.  They have a complete disregard for rules and lie constantly.  They don’t feel guilt or learn from any punishment.”  Psychology 101

The man dies in all who keep silent in the face of tyranny. -Wole Soyinka, playwright, poet, Nobel laureate (b. 13 Jul 1934)  ‘Something to think about this November.

I saw a unique suitcase the other day.  It was in the shape and color of 2 slices of bread.  I bet it was jam packed.

A former student of mine had not been lucky in love.  He’d been engaged a few times and each time she broke it off.  He told me, “Mz. R., the next time I give a ring to someone it will be plastic with a big piece of candy on top.   When it’s gone it will be their fault.”

I have a friend who is so tense, so “tightly wound” that if one put a piece of coal up her butt, in 2 weeks there’d be a diamond!  Peace, blessings, and smiles to you…Trudy

2016 October FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

2016 OCTOBER “From My Perspective”

Month #10, but it should be #8 because ‘octo’ means eight; ‘novem’ means nine, and; ‘decem’ means ten.  Now, back up to September, which is our ninth month, confusing us because ‘septem’ means seven.  Thank you, Julius and Augustus Caesars, for each of you taking 31 days so our calendar can have your names in as a month.  No wonder some of us are confused. 

A thief broke into the local police station’s laboratory and restroom stealing everything in each area. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

When a person's mean to another, it is, usually, because they know their inadequacies and don't want the other to find them out. You can't blow out another's candle without diminishing your light. It takes more energy to be mean than to be kind, just as it takes more facial muscles to frown than to smile.

“If you planted hope, today, in a heart which felt alone; if you caused a laugh which chased some tears away; if someone’s burden was made lighter because of your kindness, then your day was well-spent.”

A friend of mine had a lot of dandelions in her yard.  A persnickety neighbor put a sign on her door which said, “Do something about those blasted dandelions!!”  She did…..she made a sign with big red letters, “Free dandelions.  Take all you want.”

ONE, a single line which when laid on its side represents a negative, taking away and when it's just the one and it's taken away, it becomes nothing. But TWO, oh two is more. It adds; it has company, companionship, and interaction with another. Take one line away and it's back to ONE.....solitary, perhaps alone, perhaps lonely, perhaps moving to nothing. I'd rather have TWO, then I wouldn't be alone.

I was asked what my relationship status was.  I really didn’t feel it was that person’s business, but I didn’t want to be rude, so I told them, “I sleep diagonally in a king-sized bed; there are two towels in the bathroom and they’re both mine; I fix 4 cups of coffee in the mornings and drink all four; I drive a VW Bug and usually have packages on the other front seat.”  They didn’t ask me anymore personal questions.  I think they were afraid of the answers I give.

There are times when I try to sleep my brain and ADD kick-in together.  They’re not friends and what one doesn’t come up with, the other does.  Here’s an example:  “one sheep, two sheep, a turtle, a cow, a duck…Old MacDonald had a farm, E I E I Oh-h-h hey Macarena!!!” And, since my favorite game is SCATTERGORIES, I’ve made up more categories, and THAT kicks-in with, “What types of dances begin with this letter?  What types of farms are there which begin with this letter?  Where would you go to eat chocolate?”  Maybe some of you can identify with all this. 

A friend sent me this “bucket list”; I wanted to share it with you.  It’s political, so move on if you think you’ll be offended.

                 2016 Special Bucket List  HERE IS WHAT IS WANTED... 

1.  Hillary: held accountable for her previous wrongs!  2. Put "GOD" back in America!!! 3. Borders: Closed or tightly guarded!  4. Congress: On the same retirement & healthcare plans as everybody else.  5. Congress: Obey its own laws NOW!  6. Language: English only, other languages may be spoken among those who know it!  7. Culture: Constitution and the Bill of Rights!  8. Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before & during Welfare!  9. Freebies: NONE to Non-Citizens!  10. Budget: Balance the damn thing!  11. Foreign Countries: Stop giving them our money!  Charge them for our help!  We need it here.  12. Fix the TAX CODE!  And most of all:  13. "RESPECT OUR MILITARY AND OUR FLAG!!"

Have you ever noticed that true heroes are only seen in the eyes of those they've quietly helped? With no accolades and no fall-der-rall, they help and do.  Father’s Day has come and gone, but I think of the women who take on both roles, and to all the dads who do the best they can, the men who accept another’s child as their own and become their father image, and to all the grandparents who had to do it twice. Every day may not be the best day of your life, but there's a blessing in every day, if you look at things right.  (Some of this is contributed by my friend and former student, Andy T.  Thank you, Andy, for your kind and insightful words.)

A hug is like a boomerang---you get it back right away.  Everyone needs a hug.  It’s one of the best gifts you can give.  Did you realize that when you hug someone or something, it encapsulates your heart and you feel good? 

Deer season is coming soon and Bambi is getting revenge. The innocuous deer are annually responsible for an average of 130 deaths to humans in North America.  But, don't fear its bite or hooves. The unfortunate meeting of deer and cars usually is responsible for those deaths.

A former student of mine sent me this.  I don’t get political because I believe everyone has an entitlement to their opinion.  Here’s the smiler or frowner….whichever way you choose:  

I stopped by my local Ford Dealership this morning to look for a new truck. I saw a nice F-350 crew cab loaded with all the options that I liked and asked to take it for a test drive.  The salesperson (a lady wearing a Hillary for President lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat next to me, describing the truck and all its options. She explained that the Electric Seats were connected to the ventilation system and could be set to direct cool air to your butt in the summer & warm air to your butt in the winter.  So I mentioned that this must be a "Trump truck". She looked at me a bit angry and asked why I thought it was a Trump truck. I told her that if it were a Hillary truck, the seats would just blow smoke up my butt year round.  The two mile walk back to the dealership to pick up my truck was worth it.

Brenduhh came over all bubbly.  I’d had a particularly rough morning and was “honked”.  “Hey Trude!!  How are ya today?  Are you going to fix lunch anytime soon as I’ll join you,” she blurted.  “I’ve had a very rough morning and will fix lunch.  It will help me.  I’ll make soup……whiskey with ice cubes.”  So I did and felt better after sipping it for a while.

               Until next month……smiles and blessings-------trudy

2016 September "FROM MY PERSPECTIVE"

2016 September “FROM MY PERSPECTIVE”

There was a couple who taught where I taught.  He was very congenial and she was just the opposite causing many to not want to interact with her.  She prided herself in her ability to cause controversy and would purposely do it; then, she’d sit back, watch the drama unfold and enjoy every bit of it.  One day she approached me and told me she and her husband were going out with their many friends to a specialty restaurant; she invited my husband and me, too.  I asked her who was going.  She listed many people we, also, knew and knew many of them did not like her, but liked her husband.   She went on and on about how many friends they had.  Finally I’d had enough of her bragging and disillusionment.  I told her, “Have you ever thought that some of these people are friendly to you because they like your husband, but are not YOUR friend because of you and your enjoyment of creating controversy?”  If I remember correctly, we didn’t attend the dinner for one reason or another.

There are many different “philia”s out there.  This one is interesting:  CERAUNOPHILIA:  loving thunder and lightning and finding them intensely beautiful.

“MOM!!  You just keep nagging me.”  “Oh really?  I call it ‘listen-to-what-I-said-the-first-time’.  Did you know that wives and mothers talk more than any other people?  It is because we are always repeating ourselves.”  “What?” came the question from the kids and hubby.  I went to Dairy Queen for some stress therapy.

Some thoughts:  If you ate today, thank a farmer.  If you ate in peace, thank a soldier.  If you can read this, thank a teacher.  If you awakened, thank God.

Every one of us is experiencing senescence. There is no escaping it.  It starts from the day you’re born.  It is the process or the state of growing old.  Some of us have more senescence than others.  Rejoice and be glad!!

I read this in a medical journal:  “During labor, a woman experiences the pain level a man imagines he has when he has a sore throat.”

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.  It, also, makes them wonder what you know that they don’t.

Here is something to think about:  Liam Neeson said, “Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true.  Loneliness hurts.  Rejection hurts.  Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.  Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.” 

Have you ever thought about how long it takes to grow an old friend; that a friend is a present you give yourself; that a good friend can sit silently with you and you’ve both spoken volumes; that friends laugh and then go for the “snort”, and then laugh all over again holding on to each other?  If you are my friend, you and I can identify with all this.  Some friends are family, too.

Brenduhh stumbled over last night upset at something.  She plopped herself down on a chair and told me, “Would you believe that an hour ago, in the parking lot of JOE’S BAR AND SPIRITS, a horse asked me if I was driving home?”  “Hmmm, are you sure it was a horse?” I queried.  “Well, there might have been a policeman sitting on the top of it,” she slurred.

I really need to seriously consider getting myself in shape.  If I was murdered right now my chalk outline would be a circle.  Hmmm, that reminds me of a pie or pizza, or an Oreo, or a donut, or a bagel.

There is a fine line between a numerator and denominator.  Only a fraction of you will understand this.

I’m sure most of you have seen this sign:  “Life is too short to not be able to laugh at yourself.  If you can’t do it, call me and I will laugh at you.”  I crack up every time I read this.

I former student, a brave one I might add, sent me this message:  “Don’t be afraid of growing older.  You’ll still do stupid things….only slower.”  I wrote back, “Thanks a bunch.  I’ve just changed your grade…only I wrote it slowly so you could read it.”

I don’t know about you, but there are times I have trouble falling asleep. Here is the “discussion” between me and my brain.
Me: “All right, shut off. I’m tired.”
Brain: “I don’t want to. I have things to work on that I haven’t covered for 18 hours.”
Me: “I’m not going to let you. You’re going to go blank.”
Brain: “Really?? Remember all those stupid mistakes you’ve made in your life?”
Me: “Oh, you’re going to bring all that up NOW?”
Brain: “Well, those are some of the things I haven’t covered for 18 hours.”
Me: “You know I’m thinking of words Mother never taught me!”
Brain: “You’re cluttering and interfering with my processing.”
Me: evil laugh.

“Grief is like living two lives.  One is where you “pretend” everything is all right, and the other is where your heart silently screams in pain and despair.”  Author unknown

A while back I took a little vacation having to fly to my destination.  Keep in mind I’d not been on an airplane for years, let alone experienced the procedure one goes through to get on it.  I got to the security portal and was greeted by a man with some sort of “weapon” in his hand.  He told me to put all my things in the little plastic box and my carry-on luggage on it too.  I obliged.  All was fine until I went through the arch.  Buzzing and blinkers went off.  He asked me to go through it again.  I did and the same thing happened.  He asked me to step to a private area where he waved his magic wand/weapon, patted me from head to toe on the front side, back side and both sides.  We found the underwire on my bra had set the alarms off.  Well that full pat-down was thrilling.  Cross that off my bucket list!!

My friend is very well blessed on the chest.  She wears what I call a Psalm 23:5 bra…..”my cup runneth over.”  We were playing a game where the topic was “A PLACE TO HIDE MONEY”.  When we revealed our answers, we both had put “BRA”.  She said her answer first; I looked at her surprised and said, “I have the same answer.”  She was amaze and queried, “Really?”  I said, “Yes, but next to it is your name.”  She laughed and said, “You can hide your money in my bra.”  I told her, “No I can’t; I don’t have that much money.”  She screamed in laughter.

I’ve been thinking:  if Dorothy met men who had no brains, no hearts, or no courage, she’d be in Congress, not Oz.;  I believe that every time I lose a sock in the laundry it returns as a plastic storage lid.;  I see all these young people decorating their bodies with memories and such, a.k.a. tattoos.  I’m wondering if they think about what those inked messages/pictures/memories will look like when their skin is 70 years old.;   One must really be without financial security if their bologna doesn’t have a first name.;  According to the looks of the calendar we use, SUNDAY starts a new week.  I’ve always thought it ended a week.  WOW!!  We have both…a good way to end a week and a good way to start a new week!

Smiles and blessings to you………….Trudy

2016 AUGUST "From My Perspective"

                                   2016 AUGUST “From My Perspective”

I enjoy watching speed and agility racing with dogs.  There is little competition with greyhounds on speed (fastest dogs on the planet!), but on the agility there are many contenders.  Little and medium sized dogs seem to prevail in the agility bracket; however, one entry, in the agility of dogs show I was watching, was an English mastiff.  The owner was so enthusiastic and encouraging to him as he lumbered along at the break neck speed of “I-don’t-give-a-damn”.  When it was all over, he lay down beside her and took a nap.  ‘Made me laugh for a long time.

A synchronous diaphragmatic flutter is the fancy official name for hiccoughs.

I saw a t-shirt the other day.  It was on a person I know is a casual stroller lumbering at an impressive speed of super slow and has obsessive-compulsive issues about constant fishing.  It said, “I’m a fitish (kind of fit, but likes the idea of being fit, but equally likes food), fetish fisher.”  I tried to say it 3 times fast. 

While eating lunch with Brenduhh at a local restaurant, a couple with 4 children sat close to us.  The adults (term used very loosely here) paid no attention to their brood, thus the brood disturbed everyone around them.  Brenduhh called out to the adults, “I won’t be sorry to call animal control on those kids, if you don’t tame them right now!!”  Sometimes that girl has a good idea.

I often tell my children, “I love you to Pluto and back”, because “to the moon and back” is not far enough.  I’ve often wondered what is farther.  Well, I found it and will be using it, because I love them farther and more than they can imagine.  “Farther than Pluto.  Sedna, or 2003 VB12, as it was originally designated, is the most distant object yet found orbiting our Sun. It is three times farther away than Pluto (average distance to the Sun is 5.9 billion km or 3.6 billion miles).”

This is a true happening. "I have a wing chair which needs repaired," said my father to the clerk. "We don't fix chairs with wings because chairs don't fly," sincerely stated the clerk. My father asked if she could chew gum and walk simultaneously. She replied, "I'm not allowed to chew gum at work, and I walk just fine." My father went away shaking his head.  I remembered this story when I read, “I’d like a small strawberry shake, please.”  The order taker replied, “We only have large strawberries, not small ones.  What size do you want for a shake?”

Save us!!!

I’ve been watching the genealogy program, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE of famous people.  They haven’t revealed Vincent van Gogh, but I have a few suggestions.  He has an aunt who is rather dizzy----Ver T. Gogh; a very polite, unsociable uncle---Please Gogh; and a cousin who ate a lot of prunes---Haveta Gogh.

While talking to a friend of mine, he stated, “Ya know, Trudy, having a good heart can put you in some difficult situations.”  I agreed with him, but gave him this to consider, “Those without a good heart are in that situation more often and on a continued basis. They can never feel as good as those with a good heart, hear a sincere ‘Thank you so much’, see a tear of gratitude, feel a hug of appreciation, or walk a little taller knowing they have helped someone live better or smile. So, keep that good old heart YOU have and keep on doing for others.”

I found this encouraging message:  “Give it to God….your bills, your health, your career, and your family.  Every night go to bed empty so you can wake up full….full of hope, peace, and favor.”  I gave my bills to God; however, AMEREN ILLINOIS was not impressed and they promised to turn off my electricity. They said, "Remember, God said, 'Let there be light' and it will happen if you pay your electricity bill."

I have reached an age where my mind says, “I can do that”…but my body says, “Try and die, fat girl.”  This was me when I tried to get up on a chair to kill a spider on the ceiling. My efforts were rejected by my body, and I was introduced to the floor for further thought about that silliness.  Have you ever heard a spider laugh?

Don’t trust everything you see.  Even salt looks like sugar; vodka looks like water; heat waves look like water; and pizza has 5 of the food groups and can be a full-meal deal.

A friend of mine has a 7^th grade boy.  He had shared with her how his teacher, who is pregnant with her first child, incorporated math into her pregnant condition.  The students got to vote on gender and each week they predicted how much the baby weighed and how long using standard and metric measurements. When she asked him if they got to predict and vote on how much weight the teacher gained each week, he laughed and replied, “Really, Mom? I want to actually pass 7th grade.”

Be decisive!  Right or wrong, make a decision.  The road of life is paved with flat squirrels which couldn’t make a decision.

Brenduhh came over upset.  “Trute, I think I’m just gonna die from all this I have to deal with.  I can’t take much more.”  I told her, “I understand.  Just remember, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’”  She thought for a moment, and then made a profound statement, “I’m thinking about bears…bears will kill you.”  Eyes rolled and my lips were clamped shut.

I saw a sign the other day.  “Free bungee jumps for Congress.  No strings attached.”  YEP!!

It’s thought that the USA is the fattest country.  HA!!!  Mexico has an obesity rate of 32.8 percent. The good ole US of A is a close second with 31.8 percent of the population considered obese.  Wow!!  One whole point.

Ciao/chow and “vaya con Dios” to you this month!  As always, Trudy

2016 JULY "From My Perspective"

                                      2016 July FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

Have you ever wanted to tell someone off, but remain a lady or gentleman?  I have many times.  Here are some “gems” I’ve learned along the way to “Gotcha-ville”:  “You’re just a few fries short of a happy meal.”;  “Your mother was a back alley frequent flyer, wasn’t she?”;  “Your family tree has no roots and grows straight up.”;  “I listen to your answers and statements and my ears hurt.”;  “If you were my child, you wouldn’t be.”;  “I didn’t say you were stupid, you’ve opened your mouth and proven a suspicion.”; “You’re a conundrum, a curmudgeon, and categorized as floccinaucinihilipilification.”  “What did you say?” they questioned.  “You heard me,” was my retort.

Did you know there is license in silence, bras in bars, sole in sloe, spices in Pisces, and a reed in a deer?  There are many more; can you think of them?

“You don’t get to success without a series of failures.  Set-backs are a set-up for a come-back.”  Steve Harvey

I wondered about the difference between muffins and cupcakes.  Here is what I found:  While no single criterion distinguishes a muffin from a cupcake if you do not adopt the technical definition above, the following trends exist:

• Cupcakes tend to be sweeter than muffins; there are savory muffins such as cornbread
• Cupcakes are often iced or frosted, whereas muffins tend to have no topping, or a simple crumb topping
• Cupcakes usually have a head or top no larger than the body of the cupcake; muffins are often encouraged to overflow their baking cup, so that their top is larger in diameter, giving them somewhat of a mushroom shape
• Cupcakes are almost always, well, cupcake shaped; muffins can be made as just muffin tops
• Cupcakes are almost never crispy or crunchy; muffins are often encouraged to brown and develop texture, especially on the tops                                                                                                                              YOU’RE WELCOME!!

I remember I accidentally burned the toast. I announced it and was told by my Beloved, "Bring it to the table with some of your homemade jam, please." I did and apologized again. He said with a smile on his face, "This is the most tasty burned toast with home made jam I've had all day." I told him he'd not had any toast all day. He said, "I know that, but this is the first and the best of the day." He smiled; I hugged him.

“You either get bitter or you get better.  It’s that simple.  You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down.  The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you.”  Josh Shipp

Did you know that Spivey’s Corner, North Carolina hosts the annual Hollerin’ Contest on the second Saturday in September.  This is an old way of communicating over the mountain tops and hollers before the widespread use of telephones.  Yes, y’all, some places couldn’t get telephones and the poles put up because of the mountains.  The technology just wasn’t like it is now.  Think of Switzerland and the yodeling done from mountain top to mountain top.  That, too, is an art some of my readers are not familiar with.

There is one word which defines the refreshing odor of the air after it has rained.  Here it is and all you need to know about the word:  PETRICHOR   PRONUNCIATION:  (PET-ri-kuhr) MEANING: noun: The pleasant smell that accompanies the first rain after a dry spell. ETYMOLOGY: Coined by researchers I.J. Bear and R.G. Thomas in 1964, from Greek petros (stone) + ichor (the fluid that supposedly flows in the veins of the gods in Greek mythology).   (from: A Word A Day)

“Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily; and why older persons, especially if vain or important, cannot learn at all.”  Thomas Szasz, author, professor of psychiatry (15 Apr 1920-2012)        

Potpourri, from French literally means “rotten pot,” though it consists of a mixture of flowers, herbs, and spices collected to provide a pleasant scent, its meaning is just the opposite.

I found this and wanted to share it with you gals. 10 Facts Every Woman Should Know:  1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over.  2. When someone tells you that you're beautiful, believe them. They aren't lying. 
 3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill a goat.  4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them.  5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would.  6. Don't look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself.
7. It's okay to not love every part of your body....but you should.  8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life, well, you might be that woman to someone else.  9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan.  10. You're a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable.   words by Mary L. Leonard  I'd rather be a woman because crying and calling someone a "Poo-poo head" when I’m mad would sound silly for a man.

Do you remember the Sesame Street game of ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER(S)?  I found out that from:  avocado, broccoli, cucumber, and squash, only one is an actual vegetable.  Can you guess which one?  It is my favorite------BROCCOLI.  Here is the difference between fruit and vegetable:  Botanically speaking, a fruit is a seed-bearing structure that develops from the ovary of a flowering plant, whereas vegetables are all other plant parts, such as roots, leaves and stems. By those standards, seedy outgrowths such as apples, squash and, yes, tomatoes are all fruits, while roots such as beets, potatoes and turnips, leaves such as spinach, kale and lettuce, and stems such as celery and broccoli are all vegetables.  Don’t even ask me about bananas.  Since I’m human and seem to have the need to put things in categories, I am submitting a third category for fruits and vegetables.  It is called I DON’T KNOW, NOR CARE.

I read that jellyfish have survived for more than 500 million years, despite having no brains.  Wow!!!  That gives hope to some people.

Have you ever had to call a service representative to help you with an electronic device? Well, I did and it was not an enjoyable experience for the service rep. I THOUGHT I was going to have someone on the other side of the telephone receiver who spoke English. HA!!! They were on the other side of the WORLD trying to tell me what to do with an accent so thick cold butter was spreadable. I talked a while, and then started asking them to spell every word followed by me telling them how to pronounce the word and the definition of it in American English. I sensed their exasperation (three cheers for me), so I started to talk very fast (like I was a teenager and used "Like" every other word.) more exasperation on their part (evil snickering here and there). Then I asked to speak to someone who spoke English. They told me they spoke English. I told them I was an English teacher, born and raised in the United States of America and they did NOT speak English. They spoke a language taught to them by someone who was from their country who learned English from a book, had NEVER been to America, and had no clue as to what American English sounded like or how to use it. I told them I spoke American English and could understand Southern English, New England English, British English and Australian English and could even drawl like a cowboy. I asked to speak to their supervisor. Supervisor got on and wouldn't you know it, they spoke English with a thick Bengali accent. So I started my monologue and linguistic teaching all over again. They connected me with an English speaking person in Texas. She was originally from Mexico!!! but, I could understand a lot of what she said. I'm sure my name, telephone number, and call was highlighted in brilliant red and will be used for training purposes. That is fine with me because red is my favorite color......brilliant takes it to a higher level and teaching is my game!

Congress declared bourbon the official drink of the United States in 1964.  Cheers!!!
Until next month, may you have many blessings and smiles come your way.  Trudy

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Please know that my computer sizzled and flashed taking the hard-drive with it.  This made me lose all the addresses in my address book with "MTCO".  There is no retrieval as it has been tried by 2 computer gurus, and MTCO told me the addresses are on my hard-drive and they can not get them, either.  So, if you have received e-mails from my MTCO e-mail, I would like to have you message me on FACEBOOK with your e-mail address, if you want me to have it.  My name on FACEBOOK is:
Trudy Jean Davis-Ripka.  I'll know who you are by my recognition of your name.

Trudy :)

June 2016

                                        2016 June FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

I was sitting in my car just about ready to leave the parking spot when some fool honked at me to get moving faster.  Rats!  Then, I had to just sit there until both of us were dead.

I don’t have wrinkles….I have “wise cracks” because with age comes wisdom.  Being a lady, I don’t sweat, I glisten.  I don’t have hot flashes, I have power surges.  I speak 3 languages fluently….English, Sarcasm, and Mom.  I don’t groan, I purr.  I’m not fat, I’m fluffy….my doctor told me this and so did Gabriel Iglesias.  I’m not all that patient…I just am tired of the drama and senselessness, so I honed my ignoring skills to a fine point.  I like animals, BUT that doesn’t give you the right to expect me to like you and that behavior you’re demonstrating.

Brenduhh came over pretty honked at her hubby.  I asked her what was going on.  She said, “I’ve had it with his attitude and disrespect.  I put most of this “junk” in a suitcase and set it on the porch.  He came home and demanded what was the explanation for it.  I told him, ‘I want you to leave.  I’m tired of your attitude and disrespect.  I hope you are miserable for a long time and your ears hurt constantly.’  He said to me, ‘I already have been miserable for a long time and my ears hurt every time you talk.  So leaving will give me comfort and my ears a rest.’”  I asked her if he was still at the house.  She said, “Yes.  I think he’s a masochist...some people aren’t happy unless they’re miserable and in pain.”

In a little booklet (BITS & PIECES) which was given to me, was this profound statement:  “One moment of patience may ward off a great disaster; one moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.”

A friend of mine came over to talk.  She was upset with her husband.  It seems she doesn’t do much right in his eyes.  “He tells me to change my hairstyle, change the clothes I wear, change my makeup, and change how I cook.  I’m tired of it,” she lamented.  I’d noticed he was never satisfied with her, and she’s a lovely person who is very loyal.  “What did you do or say to him?” I asked.  She told me, “I took a good look in the mirror and liked what I saw.  I fixed a wonderful meal and it tasted very good.  I confronted him and told him I wasn’t going to change; however, he needed to change………….his address and where he keeps all his stuff.  I’m filing for a divorce.”

Most of you know about the washing and drying steps in doing laundry, but did you know about the third step? To be safe to wear, laundry has to be spread out in your living room either on the floor or the couch (I do both because I'm thorough) for several days. Science calls this the "airing" of the laundry and it is vital. Skipping this step results in clothes that are dangerously under-oxygenated. You can also let your laundry breathe in your bed and sleep with it if you feel like it's insecure. This is called attachment laundering. When you put your laundry in drawers and closets straight out of the dryer, you're telling it that you don't care about its feelings. Please, show your laundry some love today. Air it out.

I was riding along with my friend, Frieda.  She has a heavy foot on the gas pedal.  Wouldn’t you know it, a police officer pulled her over.  “Hello m’am.  I’m going to have to write you a citation for speeding.  What is your first name?” he asked.  She replied, “Frieda.”  “Thank you; and what is your last name?” he said.  “My last name is Gomam,” she answered.  “O.K.  Let’s see, you’re Frieda Gomam,” he stated.  And away we went.  The last thing I saw was him shaking his head.

When one of my kids was little they came running to me to tell me something.  “Mom, Daddy hit is finger with a hammer and told me to put my fingers in my ears.  I asked him how it would help him.  He told me, ‘I’ll then be able to say what I need to so I can feel better.’  I don’t understand, Mom.”  I told them, “When Daddy is hurt like that, he speaks a language you don’t need to learn.”  “But Mom, you’ve always told us to study a foreign language.”  I rolled my eyes and said, “Not that one, though.”

Southern Divorce... smile for the day
A  judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"  "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."  "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"  "It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded.  "I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"  "I have an aunt and uncle and 12 cousins living here in town, as well as my husband's parents."  The judge took a deep breath and asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"  "No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one cuz we don't have a car."  "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"  "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music - all that hip hop and rap tap - but we can't seem to do anything about it."  "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"  "Yes, he gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee."  Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why in the world do you want a divorce?”  "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce, my husband does. The fool says he can't communicate with me."

Macaroni and cheese is one of the most popular comfort foods; it is at my home.  I’ve made it on top of the stove, in the crock pot, and baked in the oven.  The oven variety seems to be the most popular here.  Maybe it’s because there are crispy edges which many request when I serve it.  I’ve found that crushed CHEEZ ITS drizzled with butter and sprinkled on top 15 minutes before it is finished baking are enhancing to the cheesy flavor.  Sometimes I stir in some of them before I bake it.  I’ve used a mixture of the white cheddar CHEEZ ITS and the golden yellow CHEEZ ITS.  I’ve seen PEPPER JACK ones, too.  That would add some zip to the already delicious comfort food.

The weather is getting warmer, so it is very important to remember to…close your windows before yelling at your kids.

A French man who wears sandals is known as a “Philippe Philoppe”.  A lazy kangaroo baby which sits on the sofa all day is known as a “pouch potato”.

I love bagels and “schmeer” (cream cheese).  Now there is a bagel which you twist and dip the pieces.  Talk about an invitation to play with your food….that is one of them!

My daughter was sitting on her front porch watching the sunrise.  She told, “Sunrise this morning is a rainbow of blues...an ocean in the heavens.”  What a beautiful description of what she watched.  Thank you, m’love.  Until next month……..smiles and blessings!!  TRUDY :)

2016 May "FMP"

2016 May “FROM MY PERSPECTIVE”

A friend of mine shared with me her conversation she’d had with her husband.  “Me: I have fluid in my ears; I feel it when I talk. My hubby: I wish we had dog treats.” This is why my marriage works, LOL!“

I came across an entry in a little booklet I was given.  There is no author, but the statement or observation is profound:  “People who will not admit they’ve been wrong love themselves more than they love the truth.”  This, to me, goes hand-in-hand with another observation I found and have used which has no author:  “Truth is hate to those who hate the truth.”

As the hunting dog watched the skunk nibble on the food in his bowl, his thought was, “Two of the greatest virtues are wisdom and patience.”

Please know:  Swimsuit season is just around the corner.  In my neighborhood, so is Dairy Queen with a sale on large BLIZZARDS……BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE.  Figures!

Brenduhh came over in a nasty mood.  She argued and fretted at me for about 10 minutes.  Nothing I said changed her attitude.  She isn’t the sharpest point on an angle and presented a COMMON CORE math problem which was wrong, and I tried to help correct it.  “Trudy, 2+2 = 5, doesn’t it?”  I told her it did not, but that it equaled 4.  She argued more so when she asked me again to verify that 2+2=5 I said, “Oh yes it does, and then you have to carry the 1.”  I went to the porch for some air.

 I have a friend who went on a cruise with her family of 4 daughters, hubby and herself.  She took pictures of them all in the van while traveling.  I mentioned to her when I saw the pictures, “You have a U-Haul following you.  Did you know that?”  She replied, “Yes.  That is for our luggage as we travel to Georgia and Florida.”  Well, I was raised in Georgia and she was not.  So, I knew how the Southerners talked.  I told her, “If you stop at a gas station in Georgia you might be asked, ‘Y’all need “awl” in thu U-Haul y’all r-uh haulin’?’”  She told me to please speak English.  I told her I was, but it was Southern English.  Of course, that got me to thinking about what could be asked if the U-Haul was carrying sharp, punching tools which are rusting…..”Y’all need “awl” on thu awls y’all r-uh haulin’ in thu U-Haul?”  I love the Southern dialect.  Joel Chandler Harris, who wrote Uncle Remus’ stories about B’rer Rabbit and those folks, wrote in the deep Southern dialect.  Unless you are familiar with that dialect, you might be ahead to read the stories out loud to understand what is being said.

It is getting much warmer outside at this time.  So there will be people who will say, “It’s too hot for coffee.”  Those people do not understand coffee and are not to be trusted.  Get away from them; banish them from your presence.  You do NOT need this kind of stress or evilness in your life.

Brenduhh say me on the porch swing and joined me for some lemonade.  “Trudy, I’ve decided I’m going to try to laugh at myself more.  I understand it relieves stress, too.”  I told her, “That’s a good idea, sweetie.  It was getting difficult for all the rest of us, and yes, it does relieve stress in “many ways”.

Just try saying, “Irish wristwatch” 3 times fast.  Then, try it 3 times fast after 2 glasses of wine.  Bwahahahahaha!!!!

I was talking with a friend the other day about our trials and tribulations.  We’ve both had quite a few.  She said, “Trudy, you’re so strong.”  I thought about Superman, but I knew she wasn’t meaning all those strengths.  I told her, “Oh, I don’t know about that, but I do know I’ve done what I believed, not thought, needed to be done.  I read a little plaque one time.  It said, ‘Strength doesn’t come from what you can do.  It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.’  I, also, believe what J.C. Watts said, ‘It doesn’t take a lot of strength to hang on; it takes a lot of strength to let go.’  All this together is what strength is, my dear friend, and knowing that there is one entity who will take you through everything if you will trust Him.”

Did you know that catching a bee in your shirt while driving 45 mph increases your vocabulary and demolition derby driving skills/techniques?  Did you know that if you take the word “milk” and change 4 letters you get wine?  Did you know that a pig which knows some karate moves is a “pork chop”?  Did you know that when a person says, “First of all” at the beginning of an argument, they have research, data, charts and a strong determination to annihilate you?  Give up while you still have your butt.  Did you know:  there are bras in bars; lows in slow; there’s tire tier; there are vast vats; you can veto a vote; toneless is noteless?  These are called ANAGRAMS…..different words made from the same letters of another word.  I found one with 27 letters:  hydroxydeoxycorticosterones (a crystalline steroid hormone C21H30O4 occurring in the adrenal cortex) is hydroxydesoxycorticosterone (An analog of desoxycorticosterone which is substituted by a hydroxyl group at the C-18 position.)  Alrighty then!!  Thank you Medical Dictionary on line. 

In March and April others, whom I know, traveled to much warmer climates for vacations.  I found it interesting that they returned grumbling about the temperatures, forgetting that we who stayed here kept the temperatures constant so they would have a comparison analysis.  There was no, “Thank you” from them, either.  Yeesh! Such ingratitude.

I was sitting watching a school bus slow down to release some children.  The orange flashers went on as it stopped, then the red flashers, and the metal, side sign of STOP was extended.  A car sped up and went around it!!  I was furious.  I wondered, “What part of this 45 foot vehicle which has a capacity of carrying 75+ children, with a curb weight of 20,000+ pounds, painted bright yellow with red flashing lights did you NOT see?”  They saw the black and white car with red, white, and blue flashing lights come up behind it, though.  In fact, stupid driver of said car stopped on the side of the road and the black and white car stopped right behind it.  I stood, clapped, and yelled, “All righty then!”

Peace, smiles, and blessings to you.  Trudy