2017 June FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                                   2017 June FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

The last of April, central Illinois has so much rain there was a lot of flooding along the Illinois River and some of the creeks.  Personally, I was ready to start building an ark.  Brenduhh came over all excited that week end.  “Trudy, I’m going on vacation and it will be so much fun.”  I asked her where she was going.  “Well, I thought it would be a lot of fun to go surfing.”  I asked her when she was going to California or Florida to do that.  She gushed, “Oh you silly girl.  I don’t need to go that far to surf and ride the waves.  The Illinois River is really deep now and some of the creeks are running real fast.  Those are gonna be perfect places.”  I told her it was too cold and the waters were very muddy.  “You know all your blond hair will turn brown, don’t you?” I questioned.  She thought a bit and agreed she’d have brown hair and not light blond if she went.  Sometimes it doesn’t take much to change her mind; but then again, there’s not much there to change.

I was swimming recently and accidentally splashed a lady who was next to me.  She hollered, “You splashed me; I don’t want to get wet!”  She was standing shoulder deep in the pool.  My gosh, it was Brenduhh’s mom.

All through life this question pops up---we wonder who we are, what role we really play in certain situations or other’s lives.  I’ve applied this to “Should I buy this or that”, “Should I address the issue or let it go”, and “Is it (object) to be here or there?  I definitely apply it when I’m cleaning out closets and drawers.  Life is full of questions. Sometimes there are more questions than there are answers.  It, also, seems that just when I’ve found the answer, someone throws in another question!  Ever question if you did a good job raising your child(ren) only to see/hear them quote you to their own child(ren) that which they so vehemently objected to coming from you?  When my children were growing up, I was pretty strict with them.  Daddy and Mother had been strict with me, their wild child, but, they informed me, not to the degree I was with my children.  I told them I’d had two good teachers, and I turned out pretty good.  They didn’t question my strictness anymore.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.  Well, I see it’s time to get a good book and carry it with me as I drive.  No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple, or supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, either.  On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.  Our influence extends further than we know!  Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite, and nitro comes in jelly form.  LUNCH!!!!  “Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand; “lollipop” with the quotes is the longest with your right hand.  “I” is the shortest with the right and “A” is the shortest with the left.  Some people have a lot of time on their hands, don’t they?  TIME is evenly divided between both hands.

Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water. -Christopher Morley, writer (5 May 1890-1957) Which brings me to a saying I heard a long time ago:  “Tears are the safety valve of the heart,” and “It’s all right to cry; crying lets the sad out of you.”  All of this is so true.  Studies have been done about the chemical composition of tears brought on by various situations.  They are all different in composition.

I have accepted a position with a famous crayon company.   I am a consultant now.   I was so surprised when they called and told me my resume was exactly what they were looking for.   Some of the colors, although I loved them, were delicious, but I didn't eat a single one.   I made suggestions of:   "8 in a box is about as thrilling as dried lox;"   "If you must give delicious names to the colors, have them smell that way too, provide the caloric and fat content, and provide more than one serving in a box."   Macaroni and Cheese was my favorite with a close second of Mashed Potatoes.   Of course, double chocolate cake was so tempting.   I suggested ADULT crayons: "Jose Cuervo gold; Sex on the Beach ooh lala tan; Screwdriver yellow; Manhattan with 5 cherries bronze; Dom Perignon clear like diamonds; Rum and Coke liquid browned bronze."   I asked that rutabaga, Brussels sprouts, and other disgusting veggies have no place in the box---throw them out; don't even think of it. Puce (French for flea) sounds too much like another sickening word--P U * E, so hurl that color, too."   They were most accepting of my suggestions.   I'm now waiting for a paper I submitted.   It was difficult to outline and stay in the lines as excited as I was, but I did it.   I, also, suggested a warning sign be put on the box:   KEEP OUT OF REACH OF A HUNGRY DOG.   TECHNICOLOR POOP IS DIFFICULT TO REMOVE FROM LIGHT COLORED CARPETING.   They liked that one, too.
P.S.   If you believe this position for me, I have a box of used, very-loved, made-into-missile-bullets, broken crayons for ya.   ‘Had to have some fun.

A long time ago I read a book titled A HOUSE IS NOT A HOME by Polly Adler.  Its subject was about a house of ill repute and the ones who “lived” there, their lives, and the lives of others who went to that house.  The title has stuck with me all these years.  I’ve lived in many houses and with each one I tried to make it a home.  The people, my family, are what made the building, a house, a home.  When you have those you love being together in a house, you have a home, and…..you have everything.

Written By: Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer.  "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

1.  Life isn't fair, but it's still good.  2.  When in doubt, just take the next small step.  3.  Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.  4.  Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will.  Stay in touch.   5.  Pay off your credit cards every month.  6.  You don't have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree.  7.  Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.  8. It's OK to get angry with God;  He can take it.  9.  Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.  10.  When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.  11.  Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.  12.  It's OK to let your children see you cry.  13.  Don't compare your life to others.  You have no idea what their journey is all about.  14.  If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.  15.  Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.  16.  Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.  17.  Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.  18.  Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.  19.  It's never too late to have a happy childhood.  But the second one is up to you and no one else.  20.  When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take “No” for an answer.  21.  Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie.  Don't save it for a special occasion.  Today is special.  22.  Over prepare, and then go with the flow.  23.  Be eccentric now.  Don't wait for old age to wear purple.  24.  The most important sex organ is the brain.  25.  No one is in charge of your happiness but you.  26.  Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'  27.  Always choose life.  28.  Forgive everyone everything.  29.  What other people think of you is none of your business.  30.  Time heals almost everything.  Give time time.  31.  However good or bad a situation is, it will change.  32.  Don't take yourself so seriously.  No one else does.  33.  Believe in miracles.  34.  God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.  35.  Don't audit life.  Show up and make the most of it now.  36.  Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.  37.  Your children get only one childhood.  38.  All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.  39.  Get outside every day.  Miracles are waiting everywhere.  40.  If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.  41.  Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.  42.  The best is yet to come.  43.  No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.  44.  Yield.  45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift." 

Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.

Have you ever thought how scary DO NOT TOUCH is in Braille?  Do fish ever get tire of swimming?  Why do cats jump and are scared of a moving leaf, but don't snarl and hiss when you go to get them off your favorite chair?  When buttermilk goes sour, how will you know?  What’s the difference between “Eggs over easy” and “Eggs over easily”?  Have you ever notice that hieroglyphics could be the original emojis? 

“When you repeat a mistake, it is not a mistake anymore:  it is a decision.”  Paulo Coelho   “Mistakes have been known to be called “experience”, IF you learned from them.”  Trudy Jean

See you in July.  Blessings and smiles to you.  Trudy

May 2017 FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                                  2017 May “FROM MY PERSPECTIVE”

I was raised to treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO.   I’m of the knowing that everyone has a job.  Throughout my career and life this observation rings very true:  Sometimes the most important job is the lowliest on some people's “totem pole”; but, it is the most important for the comfort and inner workings of all who work there. Those who aren't considered as important as the head honcho are actually more important.  When people think the bottom of the totem pole has the least important position, think again.  Without the bottom, how would all the others be supported.  Thus, the bottom of the totem pole is actually the most important.

Nature's laws affirm instead of prohibit. If you violate her laws, you are your own prosecuting attorney, judge, jury, and hangman. -Luther Burbank, horticulturist (7 Mar 1849-1926)

This is what I call “natural consequences” except for: when you sling mud at people….you always get a little bit on you (law of physics); make your words kind and sweet for tomorrow it’s them you may eat (nutrition 101); you can’t treat people awful and expect them to be glad to be with you (sociology and psychology)…..and all those other little ditties my parents told me as I was growing up.

“Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”  Damien C. Thanks for your wisdom.

Recently I saw a former student say they thought they were the “black sheep” of their family because most of their family did not associate with them.  I know this person well.  They are kind, generous, honest, good, and true.  I am proud of them and love them as though they were a child of mine.  Here is what I told them:  “I wouldn't consider you ‘black sheep’, I'd consider you colorful. However, with that said, black sheep wool is more highly prized and rare. It is stronger and uncommon----not the run-of-the-mill, common. It is not like all the others; it is unique. Now, perhaps you will be proud of thinking you are the ‘black sheep’ because it is a positive, not a negative. You are loved.”

Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, menopause, hot-flashes, mood swings and all that.  Men have to deal with women.  I’d say that’s a tie.

CONNORISMS:  Connor was home with a fever.  My friend, his mother, asked him how he was feeling.  Here’s the typical “Connorism”, he looks at his arm and says "Yep, still sick".  I said "How do you know?"   He says,  "I still have hair on my arm. My fever is trying to burn it off".  ‘Pretty sure that's not how this works......  ANOTHER ONE: I was looking for the ice cream scoop.....couldn't find it. Connor runs upstairs and gets it...... I asked him why he had it.  He says "I didn't want any one to steal it."   There's an ice cream scoop thief out there,  people. Hide your scoops!  (Thanks, Kelli, for the sharing the smiles.)    

I saw this and felt compelled to share it with you.  If you are a parent, this just may be your creed:  “As your parent, I promise you that I will always be in one of 3 places….in front of you to cheer you on, behind you to have your back, or next to you so that you aren’t walking alone.” 
For those of you who have teens who are going to graduate from high school soon, I’m sure many conflicting thoughts and feelings are surfacing with you.  They did with me.  I kidded that I dealt with “teen terrorists in training”, that there would be welcoming peace through out the house where silence was a foreign (almost non-existent) word, and that the refrigerator would be full most of the time.   Well, those words/thoughts were to mask the sadness I knew would happen when they left “the nest” to go out on their own or to college.  I experienced separation anxiety and loneliness, just as you may do.  What helped me was knowing I’d done the best job I knew how to do in raising them and that God, in His infinite wisdom, knew these adolescents had made a profound impact on my life; thus, the reason He made them act like a baby when I didn’t treat them like an adult; I needed to appreciate the miniscule moments of silence when they were home because the vastness of the silence when they’d be gone would be deafening; and that, Kroger’s usually had what I needed---not what they wanted---when I shopped for food to put in the refrigerator and know it would still be there 2 hours after I placed it on the shelf.  Hopefully, all I’ve just said will help you through those moments you’re going to face, soon.

Stephen King said, “The thing under my bed waiting to grab my ankle isn’t real.  I know that, and I also know that if I’m careful to keep my foot under the covers, it will never be able to grab my ankle.”  I am aware of the “thing” under my bed, so no body part of mine goes off the edge of the mattress…..EVER!!  And, the pillow has to be turned so the flap is pointed to the outside of the mattress; there are pillow goblins in there, and I don’t want to see them.  I’m sure some of you can identify with this.

My second cousin has a teenaged daughter.  She said, “Aubrey, I think we should have ice cream for dinner.”  Aubrey said, “No, I need real food.”  My cousin wonders, “What have I done wrong?!?!”  I’m wondering if this child even has our blood running through her veins.    
Here is something to think about:  When your feet slip you can recover your balance; when your tongue slips you can not recover your words. 
“There is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to other animals as well as humans, it is all a sham.” Anna Sewell, writer (30 Mar 1820-1878)  I can think of a few groups and people who fall into this category.  I’m sure you can, too. 
  
ECDYSIS (ek-duh-sis) mean the shedding of an outer layer, molting.  EXODUS means a going out.  Birds have feathers.  So I’m thinking that when they periodically fall out they make an ecdysis exodus.

“We take our colors, chameleon-like, from each other.”  Nicolas de Chamfort, writer (6 Apr 1741-1794)  Have you ever notice you around certain people?  I have me.  There are and were certain people I wasn’t the same person I usually am when I am/was interacting and among them.  Some had me be sophisticated and being careful not to say “off-color” words as expressions.  Some had me be so laid back that a lounge chair looked tense.  Then there were the ones who made me feel I could show all facets of me, or someone else (through vocal imitations), and tell jokes of all sorts, and use innuendoes and puns.  I had no trouble being any of these “characters or people”, but I think the one I like the most was/is the one who brought/brings smiles and laughter to others.  Smiles and laughter from others is a healing power to me.


It is said, “You’re only as old as you feel.”  At this time, I feel I’m an exhumed mummy.

My friend’s little daughter, age 3, ate a peanut.  She was delighted at the flavor and told her mother, “Mommy, this has peanut butter in it!!”  I love comments made by innocent children.

No matter what I did to help my children.  No matter what I said.  No matter whether I breast fed or bottle fed them, gave them nourishing food, was available at most any time……they still turned into teenagers with too many opinions, wanting to eat junk food, drink unhealthy soda pop, found it sporting to argue at the littlest issue, and spend money they thought grew on trees.  Then I found it delightful to try to teach others’ teenagers!!!  Where did I go wrong???

And there is this:                                                           

CONNOR-ISM:  Connor: "Mom, you make my whole world better." Then he gets in my bed with shoes and back pack on for a cuddle.   My arms, my heart and my eyes were full and over flowing. My cup runneth over.  (Connor is the 6 year son of my friend and former student, Kelli.)

That’s it for this month.  Smiles and blessings to you for 31 days.

Trudy J

April 2017 FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                              2017 APRIL From My Perspective

I recently read this:  “If a woman says, ‘First of all,’ during an argument, run away and hide.  She has prepared research, data, quotes, and will destroy you.  She’s majored in history and is a history buff…..on YOUR history.”  I know….I’ve done it.

I put a picture of me on a social media website.  It was taken in 2009.  The dear friend with whom I had it taken mentioned she remember where we were when it was taken.  I haven’t seen her since then, but explained, “I haven't changed much from this picture.....just a little bit more sterling silver in the onyx-colored hair. You know I'm expensive, thus the referral to sterling silver. ”  Another friend made a comment to the picture about herself, “Ahhhh...I am not so expensive. My hair is getting the aluminum foil look! I feel like I may be turning into the Tin man's sister!”  That made me laugh out loud.

Our language is so interesting.  There is a name for just about everything and then if we can’t find one, one is taken from other languages and made into a word.  Here is OXYMORON.  It is derived from the 5^th century Latin oxymorus, which is derived from the Ancient Greek oksus which means:  “sharp, keen, pointed” and moros which means:  “dull, stupid, foolish.”  This, then, makes OXYMORON an oxymoron.  Mention this at a party and see what discussion arises…..or people will just look at you like deer eyes in headlights.

My Beloved, God rest his soul, had many soothing words to say to me when I seemed weary.  Here is an example:  I’d spent a lot of time shopping for groceries and other things we needed--- it took about 2 hours---and, I was tired.  I unloaded the van, which seemed like an eternity.  After putting them all away, I sat down in my chair to check the receipt.  Guy looked over and replied, “Oh, I see you brought a novel to read.”  The man was brave, folks.

“Ner-ism” time:  My friend told me that one night Ner came down stairs wrapped in a towel after a bath. "Daddy, stand up. I want you to see how hung I am."  Charles says, "WHAT?!" Ner holds his hand over his head, "You know, how hung I am. I grew" (I am dying laughing) Charles stands up and Ner stands next to him. "See?  I'm hung like you!" (He measures his height up against Charles’ body.)  Finally, I managed to stop laughing enough to say "How TALL you are, sweetie, not ‘how hung’.”

"A memory, which brings a smile, is an extra heart beat." Tjr

I saw a sign which said, “The 4 greatest words you will hear are:  ‘I love you, Mama.”  My thought was, “The 4 greatest replied words the child will hear are:  ‘I love you more.’ “

Our lives are like islands in the sea, or like trees in the forest. The maple and the pine may whisper to each other with their leaves ... But the trees also commingle their roots in the darkness underground, and the islands also hang together through the ocean's bottom. -William James, psychologist and philosopher (11 Jan 1842-1910)

This is a rather profound observation from William James.  Most of us think we are not related in any way to various people, but in actuality we are.  We can be different, but we are the same---we are humans with basic needs all humans share with another.  You might be scoffing, but give it some serious thought of what he said and his comparisons.  You’re welcome.  J

“Gossips are worse than thieves because they steal another person’s dignity, honest reputation and credibility, which are challenging to restore.  Remember, when your feet slip, you can always recover your balance; but, when your tongue slips, you cannot recover your words.”  Karen Salmansohn

When my daughter was eight years old, she was taking a bath one evening.  I heard a lot of splashing and cheers of glee coming from her.  Cautiously I entered the bathroom---one never knows what one will find with this kid and her exuberance---and asked her what she was doing.  With as much gusto as before she happily replied, “Oh Mom, I’m just surfing.”  The bathroom looked it, too.

It still stands....."TRIX are for kids."  So, I mix TRIX and KIX together and I'm a teenager!!!!

What used to be still comes around, I don't know how, but it does. I guess that's memories for you.....creeping in when you have to deal with now. It's mostly the good ones, but every now and then a bad one seeps on through. Lessons of the past are still teaching, still teaching you.

I got a "false call" today. Here is the dialog: I answered the call (815-410-3058). She said something about a magazine place. I told her I wasn't interested. She said, "Well, you signed up for it." I told her I didn't and knew nothing about it. She didn't keep me on the phone for long. Maybe it was me telling her I'd cast a spell on her giving her chronic diarrhea and all her relatives, too, while they were visiting her for a sit-down dinner. Who knows???!!!

I went to Burger King and ordered a hamburger with grilled mushrooms, grilled onions, caviar, and melted provolone cheese. They told me they didn't serve that. I told them, "The advertisement says, 'Have it your way' and that is my way." I'm suing tomorrow for false advertising. They told me they'd meet me in hell. I told them, "Have it your way."

Brenduhh came over ready to rant.  I let her get out of her system as she went on and on about what direction toilet paper should come off the roll.  After she stopped, I said, “Do you know what would be worst that the paper coming off the roll from the back or front?”  “No, what would be worse?” she queried.  “Not having any toilet paper,” I said “charminingly”.

A man who lies to himself, and believes his own lies, becomes unable to recognize truth, either in himself or in anyone else, and he ends up losing respect for himself and for others. -Fyodor Dostoevsky, novelist (1821-1881)      Peace to each of you, smiles and blessings, too.  Trudy

2017 MARCH "From My Perspective"

2017 March FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

It's good to have money and the things that money can buy; but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. -George H. Lorimer, editor (6 Oct 1867-1937)

Have you ever noticed that when you figure out something which has been a puzzle to you, it is seldom you’ll forget it?  I pretty sure this has to do with….if we teach ourselves something we usually don’t forget the lesson because we have such an intimate and close relationship with the teacher.

I found out that if one weighs 200# on Earth, they only weigh 76# on Mars.  Wow, one is not overweight--- they’re just on the wrong planet!

My daughter seems to have a knack of inventing her own words.  What’s amazing is THEY MAKE SENSE.  We were talking one day and I asked her when she would be arriving at my house for supper.  She replied, “Well, I’m almost ready to walk out the door; so, it will be ‘soonly’.”  I asked her what that meant.  She replied, “Well, it’s between soon and quickly, but it’s neither.  It’s ‘SOONLY’.”  She’s writing her own dictionary.  I think she’ll call it NEW-WORDS-WHICH-MAKE-MORE-SENSE-THAN-THE-ORIGINAL-ONES DICTIONARY.

Have you ever noticed a good mother’s love is unconditional?  I have, but her temper is another subject.  I’ve told mine, “I'll love you until I die, then I'll come back and haunt you into behaving well and reminding what you should not do or say.”

I know it’s March, now, but I wanted to express how much I love October.  It is the only time the cobwebs in my house become the status of DECORATIONS.

Peace isn’t the absence of conflict as people think it is.  Peace is the acceptance of conflict and knowing there will be calm from time to time.

The veggie garden was upset about the row of nosy, Spanish peppers. In complete frustration the tomatoes hollered, "They ask too many personal questions. They won't leave us alone. They're always jalapeño business!!!"  The Spanish archer did not take their turn at shooting.  When they were asked why they didn’t, they replied, “No habanera.”  Mountains are not just funny, they are “hill areas”.

While listening to one of my favorite radio stations, Mix 106.9, a word definition was given and the listener, in order to win a prize, was to call-in and give the word.  Here is the word and other words (synonyms) and the definition which I found:    Apophasis  "to say no" is a rhetorical device wherein the speaker or writer brings up a subject by either denying it, or denying that it should be brought up Accordingly, it can be seen as a rhetorical relative of irony.   The device is also called paralipsis– also spelled paraleipsis or paralepsis – or occupatio and known also as praeteritio, preterition, antiphrasis ,or parasiopesis.  It can be employed to raise an ad hominem or otherwise controversial attack while disclaiming responsibility for it, as in, "I refuse to discuss the rumor that my opponent is a drunk." This can make it a favored tactic in politics.  Apophasis can be used passive-aggressively, as in, "I forgive you for your jealousy, so I won't even mention what a betrayal it was." Praeteritio was the word the station was wanting.   Thank you, Wikipedia.com.
While reading a dictionary which happens when I start to look for ONE word (yeesh), I found this word:  HOWDAH.  It is from the Hindi and Urdu language and means, a seat on the back of an elephant or camel.  It made me think, “Of course.  It’s the perfect word for that seat because once you’re up there, you’ll wonder, “How duh get down from here?”
Brenduhh came over all smiles and giggles.  “Hey, Trute.  What do you call some bad employees?”  I didn’t want to spoil her fun so I started guessing.  None of my answers were correct.  “O.K. I give up.  What’s the answer, Brenduhh?”  She was laughing so hard she could hardly get out, “A staff infection!”  She went for the snort, too.
Life is mostly froth and bubble, / Two things stand like stone, / Kindness in another's trouble, / Courage in your own. -Adam Lindsay Gordon, poet (19 Oct 1833-1870)
A friend of mine told me, “I keep finding more and more “nuts” within the branches of the family tree. Gosh, you don't know how happy I am that they live in another state, and you will never know they're my kin! Did I become saner because I moved away from them, and I am crazy I admit that?”  I told her, “Yes, to knowing your relief of moving, and No, to your being crazy to admit it. You're in good company, anyway. I keep a jar of almonds, walnuts, pecans, and filberts out all the time just to remind me of some of my friends and relatives.”
Some of you may remember a balladeer by the name of Tom T. Hall.  One of my favorite songs he sung is WATERMELON WINE.  I got to thinking about that song and wondered what the 3 things mentioned were referring to.  Someone posted them:  "Old dogs" are those with wisdom, "children" are those with idealism, "watermelon wine" is what helps you deal with the injustices of the world. I love Tom T. Hall.“   Yep, I’m thinking that person was correct.  Give the song a listen if you have the time.  Listen carefully to the lyrics.
I saw a sign the other day.  It was talking about how water solves just about all problems.  “Do you want to lose weight?  Drink water.  Do you want a clear face?  Drink water.  Are you tired of the people who try to make you feel badly?  Drown them.” 
Dr. Maya Angelou said, "Be a rainbow in somebody's cloud!"  Have you ever notice how all the colors of the rainbow have come together to make a beautiful appearance in the sky?  They all complement the other and without all of them, it wouldn’t be a rainbow.  
What did the paper on the bulletin board say while being held up by a push pin?  “OH NO!!  I’m under a tack.”

Steganography:  (ste-guh-NOG-ruh-fee)   MEANING:  noun: The practice of concealing a message within another nonsecret message.   ETYMOLOGY:  From Greek stego- (cover) + -graphy (writing). Ultimately from the Indo-European root (s)teg- (to cover), which also gave us thatch, toga, stegosaurus, detect, and protect. Earliest documented use: 1569.   Examples of steganography: Shrinking the secret text until it’s the size of a dot and then putting it in an unsuspected place, such as the dot on top of a letter “i” in some innocuous letter. EXAMPLES:  Shaving the head of a man, writing the secret message on his pate with unwashable ink, and then letting the hair grow back before dispatching him to the destination.  To take an example from modern digital techniques, one could put the text of a message in the blank spaces in an image file. (Word A Day)  This gives me ideas for mystery stories I might think about writing.

I have a friend who goes to a little diner which serves breakfast all day and the best BLT sandwiches.  She invited me to go with her.  The diner sits on the corner of Koch and Bacon Streets.  I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw where it was located.

Smiles, blessings, and chuckles for the month.  Trudy J

2017 February FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

                                  2017 February FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

A few years ago while doing some raised-volume “motivational speaking” to the teen terrorists-in-training, they seemed to shy away from the area of my “podium” in front of their rooms. “Get back here and pay attention!” I growled. One brave soul said, “Mom, you really are losing your memory. You’ve said this same thing at least 15 times this week.”  Oh, the memories of raising 5 “darlins” over the years.  Some memories keep me smiling and some add to the frown lines produced from “directing” them.

I saw this sign at a car wash:  “Guaranteed satisfaction or we’ll give you back your dirt.”

A friend of mine had an encounter with a sexual predator who was talking with her child at the school bus stop.  She had told him to go away and not talk to the child, again.  She went to the police and school administration.  They told her they’d look into it, but there wasn’t much they could do until something happens.  This was not very reassuring to her, so she shared all of the conversations with her husband.  He went to the police department and told the investigating officer, “If something happens to my child with that sexual predator, I’m gonna happen to him.”  The detective told the father he can’t make threats.  The father told the detective, “I’m not making a threat.  I’m stating a fact.” The police department put a patrol officer at the bus stop in the mornings and afternoons for protection of someone.

Here are some interesting names I’ve found.  “Chewy” Gumm (his parents were big STAR WARS fans); Lonie Ranger; O. Nohh; Warren Peace; Silence Bellows; Iccolo Miccolo (piccolo player with the San Francisco Symphony); Banker Teller; Donno Wen; Somma Pickle Peters; Brighton Early; Collinka Davisinka; Scott Scott; Ruby Gemm; Fine Night who married Sunny Dayh; Oh-no Bono .

I know some of you, well most of you, are moms.  Oh the tales/stories we can tell to others about our “adventures” with the tiny terrorists who have captured our hearts and souls.  I have young friends you are not as seasoned as I in “mom-hood”.  They are finding out through the verbiage from their loins that they “are the worst mom in the world.”  Here are some of their stories:  “I just found out I'm the worst mom ever when he realized it really is shower night. After 15 mins. of repeating myself, he is finally in the shower crying it out. If I were my parents I would have heard ‘keep it up I'll give you something to cry about’.  Next thing you know they are doing armpit farts in the shower and laughing like crazy-ended with book reading and all are happy. Go figure! But, I'm going to let this one slide, because this kid will go to school tomorrow telling me I'm the best mom ever! It's tough being 6!”  “My 11 yr old HATES to shower and my 7 yr old wants two a day!!!??!? Feel like I can never win!”  ”I experienced that. I'd usually shout, ‘USE SOAP, STINKY.’”  “Gabby told me she was going to "pretend like she has a good mom." This was after she got into trouble for making a huge mess. I said, ‘O.K, I quit,’ then she begged me not to. Motherhood...it's a real treat sometimes (sarcasm).”  “My daughter stomped off to bed. Slammed the door. I gave it some time and when I went in she was sleeping. Will they ever know how many forehead kisses they really got as a child/ teen?”  “One of mine yelled, ‘You’re the worst mother in the world!!’; then, 20 minutes later told me I was the best mother in the world.  I told her, ‘Do not confuse me within a half-hour of time.  I’m old and not responsible for the confusion it causes.’”

Someday they will realize we were the only ones who “had their back” 24/7, would walk through fire and hell for them, would tell them we loved them while they were screaming they hated us, and never, never would have said to them some of the things they’ve said to us…..well, other than calling them “Stinky”.

I’m including some “Ner-isms” from time to time.  “Ner” is a 5 year old child of a friend of mine.  He says some pretty funny things.  Recently a friend of mine shared with me a conversation between her 5 year old ‘Ner and 7 year old Ben.  “ ‘Ner said he has four new friends. Bud asked him what their names were; ‘Ner could remember two. Ben was questioning him what the other two kids looked like and ‘Ner said, “Brown hair and eyes.’  ‘What color skin? White or black,’ Ben asked.  ‘Ner says, ‘I don't know. Skin is skin.’ Points to his skin and asks, ‘Is this white?’  Ben said, ‘Yes.’ ‘Ner  said, ‘I don't know what his skin is. He's just my friend.’  When my son was 6 he was talking to a little girl who had a dark skin color.  She asked him, “What color is your skin?  Mine is brown.”  He thought, and then answered, “I think mine is clear.”  Kids do not see the difference adults do.  How refreshing it is.

We all have our time machines. Some take us back----they're called memories. Some take us forward----they're called dreams. -Jeremy Irons, actor (b. 19 Sep 1948) And then, there is the one where we get stuck----that’s called reality. Trudy (b. 1945)
I was recently asked, “Hey, what’s on your mind?”  I told the person, “Well, not much since I was informed I'm an ‘air head.’ Teens can be so cruel to a mother. The freezer can hold a body and the fridge has 3 bottles of wine in it.  Oh, the choices, oh, the choices.”

A barnyard fowl was walking along the road.  It met a man and asked, “What is your name?”  The man replied, “Bond…..James Bond.  What is yours?”  The fowl replied, “Ken……..Chick Ken.”  Groaner, huh?
If a group of computers got a virus and passed it on to those who worked on those computers, would that be called “a staff infection”?

Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia (sfen-o-pal-a-tine  gang-leo-neur-al-gia) is the scientific name for an ice cream headache.

A Spanish magician said he’d disappear on the count of three.  He said, “Uno, dos, ****POOF!!” He disappeared without a tres.  (another groaner, huh?)
I’m sure you’re familiar with that wonderful product called WD-40.  It does just about anything to make our lives easier.  I’ve seen where there are over 2,000 uses for this product.  Here is the website:  http://wd40.com/files/wd40-2000.pdf.  What is, also, amazing is the determination of its inventor, chemist Norm Larsen, who performed 40 tries to get the lubricant's formula correct.  This is a fine example of “Never give up”.  Thank you, Norm!!

“Ner-ism”:  I have a friend who is well endowed.  Her 5 year old son came to her with this treasure.  “Ner found my bra, put it on backwards, came to find me.  "Mommy is this your back pack? This is like a backpack, huh? What do you put in here??? Big books?? Got two sides. Put lotsa books in dere."   Until next month…….smiles and blessings to you.  Trudy

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2017 January

                                        2017 January FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

I saw some signs; they made me wonder who decided to have them printed. 

WATER ON ROAD DURING RAIN; WATER WILL BE ICE WHEN VERY COLD; IN NEED OF DRIVERS AS SKILLED AS VIN DIESEL; seen at the entrance of a pasture, RESTRICTED!!  NO BOATS BEYOND THIS SIGN; SUICIDAL DEER, GO SLOW; in front of a mortuary CUSTOMER PARKING ONLY;  ROAD ENDS IN WATER; a bike trail sign TRAIL ENDS IN HELL (Michigan has a town named Hell); BE AWARE OF INVISIBILITY;  ( at a store in Shitt’s Creek, Alaska) YOU ARE NOW IN SHITT’S CREEK, WE DO NOT SELL PADDLES.

Brenduhh went to the store and had some car trouble and it stopped in the middle of the street.  She had gone to High’s grocery store, and then across the street to Lowe’s hardware store.  She called me and asked me to come get her.  I asked her where she was.  She replied, “I’m in between High’s and Lowe’s.  That’s Brenduhh!

There’s a town in Illinois named DOWNS.  I wonder if UPS goes to DOWNS.

I really like Winter better than Summer.  I can always get warm, but can’t always get cool.  I love to bake in my kitchen, but not outside.  I can heat up the kitchen and it will feel good.  Soup is one of my favorite meals, but not in the Summer.  With my layered clothing, my fat body is somewhat not as noticeable.  I don’t have to shave my legs.  The bugs have returned to Hell where they belong.

Whenever I see “ROFL”, I hear Scooby Doo trying to say, “Waffle.”  I know, now you’ll try it sounding like Scooby, and it’ll get stuck in your head for the day, and you’ll laugh or chuckle and feel good.  You’re welcome.

At 71, almost 72, I sometimes think about my funeral.  No, I’m not being morose; I’m being practical because I know I probably don’t have 25 years more like I did when I was 50.  I want a closed casket funeral.  Towards the end of the service, I want the organist to play “Pop Goes the Weasel” over and over until everyone in attendance is staring at my coffin with silent, horrified anticipation.  Then, I want “The Hokey Pokey” played a few times to see who will follow the directions.  Teachers never die; they just wait for directions to be followed.

My Plenty to Love friend came over all honked about not being able to return something at Walmart because they said she’d ordered it from on-line and had it delivered to her house.  I tried to soothe her irritation to no avail.  Finally, I gently said, “This is a case of ‘poop happens kind of situation”, honey.  She grinned, finally, and said, “Yep.  As you can see by my size, I’ve had a lot of fertilizer dumped on me.”  We laughed.

“Nothing so completely baffles one who is full of trick and duplicity himself, than straight forward and simple integrity in another.”  Charles C. Colton

A dear friend of mine works as the office manager for a tombstone monument and grave maintenance business.  She was asked to develop a catchy phrase for the business.  She came up with, “Our business keeps you grounded” or “Ground coverage….top to bottom”. 

When I was a teen my mother would cross her legs when she sneezed or coughed.  I’d laugh.  I no longer find that funny.

I saw this on Facebook.  It is one of the most refreshing things I’ve read.  “People who make you feel better about yourself when you’re sad are so important.  Nothing is more attractive than a confident person who doesn’t pretend to be something they’re not.  Beautiful has nothing to do with looks.  It’s how you are as a person and how you make other feel about themselves.  The beauty of life doesn’t depend on how happy you are, but on how happy others can be because of you.  Love more and care more.  We may enjoy physical things, but they don’t satisfy the soul quite like love and care does.  I am actually extremely grateful that some things didn’t work out the way I once wanted them to.”

Brenduhh came over for tea.  She was chuckling as we sipped our drinks.  I asked her what was so funny.  She shared, “Well, I got baptized in church yesterday.  I put an ALKA-SELTZER in my mouth, and then the water got put on my head.  I pretended to be possessed by the evil spirits.”  The visual was just too much causing me to choke on my tea and double over in laughter.  I can’t look at Alka-seltzer now without laughing.

I keep my extra fat for possible self-protection purposes. I'm least likely to get kidnapped; if I fall, I will bounce and not break a bone; should a perpetrator need to be stopped, I'll sit on them so they can't move and wait for the police; I can protect the refrigerator with my food investments from teenagers who have no discretion, by standing in front of the fridge door.

I think names are interesting.  Some are very common, but some are unusual.  These unusual names make me wonder what the parents were thinking:  Yule Fokker; Al Dente; twins Cherrie and Goldon Pancake; Claude Ball; Hoda Harre; entertainer Don Ho’s daughter, Heidi Ho; Owen Hell; Rosy Yass; Zowie Bowie.

The family wanted an omelet for a meal.  I got out 8 eggs, some tiny cubes of ham, and some sharp cheese.  Bacon grease into the cast iron skillet, beat the eggs and poured into hot greased skillet, put the ham and cheese on top, put the lid on the skillet for 3 minutes, flipped the whole thing over.  We’re having scrambled eggs with ham and cheese, instead.

A Facebook male friend proudly announced this:  “Work, run, eat, gym, eat, work.”  I responded with, “You and about 1.8 billion others, Except for bears. They just run, walk, amble, eat, chase eating things, and nap.  Oh and fart. ” Well, the banter began.  He boasted, “I’ve done all that before 3 PM, my time (he lives in Europe).    My reply, “Well, whoop T doo to you!”  He said, “I'll try and fit the Bears routine in this afternoon, sounds leisurely.”  I reminded him, “Don't forget the berries. They love the berries…..nibble, nibble.”  

I just read this:  “You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.”  WOW!!

Don't let the homophones fool you - carats are how precious stones are measured. Karats refer to the weight of gold; a caret is a common proofreading mark; and carrots, well...ask Bugs Bunny.

A friend of mine has a 5 year old who comes up with some pretty funny information.  Here is one:  Kelli:  “Stop running or you’ll fall!”  Conner:  “Mom!! My shoes are out of control; help me stop them!”

I’m pretty sure you are aware that everything costs something.  Everything has a currency; everything has a value.  Some things have a currency of money; some things have a currency of work and effort; and some things have a currency of time.  Love’s currency----time, caring, and sometimes work.  “You can give without loving, but you can not love without giving.”

A man is like a fraction whose numerator is what he is and whose denominator (number on the bottom) is what he thinks of himself. The larger the denominator, the smaller the fraction. -Leo Tolstoy, novelist and philosopher (9 Sep 1828-1910)

Did you know that every single day of your life you do something nice for someone else?  If you are loved and/or liked…..you live.  If you’re not liked or loved, you live which causes the disliker’s blood pressure to alternate reminding them, they are living.  ‘Betcha never thought of it that way, huh?

Blessings and smiles to you………….Trudy J \0/ \0/ `\0/`

2016 December "FROM MY PERSPECTIVE"

                              2016 December “FROM MY PERSPECTIVE”

Scintillate, scintillate globule vivific fain.  Would I fathom they nature specific.  Loftily perched in the capacious ether, strongly resembling a carbonaceous gem Now that I have your attention, this is a complex verbiage of TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR.  What difference simplicity makes.  J

Wouldn’t it be weird if you choked on a Life Saver?

Facebook keeps asking "what's on your mind"? So here it is---I still have so many unanswered questions! I never found out who let the dogs out; the way to get to Sesame Street; why Dora doesn't just use Google Maps; why we don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"; why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed; why "abbreviated" is such a long word; why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons; why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections; and, why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to; could that be a shipping and handling charge? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Why do The Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs? And just what is Victoria's secret; and why do noses run, but feet smell?  Why is it no matter what color the soap (liquid or solid) the bubbles are always white?  Where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent?

“It doesn’t require many words to speak the truth.”  Chief Joseph, Nez Perce

Brenduhh was in a debating mood the other day when she came over for some tea.  We discussed a lot and her “wisdom” started waning rapidly.  “Ya know, Trute, dead people don’t know they’re dead.  They think they are all right.  It’s difficult for the ones who know they’re dead, though.”  I thought for a moment trying to see her logic; then, said, “It’s like being stupid, huh kiddo?”

A friend of mine was so upset and feeling dark that she went to the pool and tried to drown herself. She got to the bottom and slowly started to surface.  She tried again.....failed. Tried a 3rd. time thinking a 3rd time would be it.....failed. When she told her doctor about her feelings, He became concerned. She told him, "Don't worry, I can't drown---I'm too fat." He told her he was going to quit suggesting she lose weight, "It's a life saver for you, Lois."

There is so much controversy now about everyone.  The problem, though, is that no one who is objecting to a person’s religion, skin color, orientation, or political position stops and thinks about skeletons.  Everyone’s skeleton is pretty much the same:  1 head, a neck, torso, 2 arms, 2 hands, 2 legs, and 2 feet, except for pirates.  Pirates, usually, have 1 ½ legs.  So, if you must discriminate against someone, discriminate against pirates.  They’re different when all the skin and muscles are stripped away.

The most valuable possession you can own is an open heart. The most powerful weapon you can be is an instrument of peace. -Carlos Santana, musician (b. 20 Jul 1947)

Recently my daughter came over for some chatting and cups of coffee.  When she arrived, she saw a dark spider on the wall.  She promptly found a tissue and went after it.  Sure she’d gotten it, she slowly opened the tissue only to find it wasn’t there; she laid the tissue on the table for a later attempt.  I said, “You realize you’re guilty of attempted murder with the murder weapon out in plain sight, and now I'm an accessory to that attempted murder because you laid that weapon on my furniture!”

After having a bone scan done to see if I was free of osteoporosis problems, I saw a sign inviting ladies of all ages to a friendly and fun get together.  Here is what it said, “Fun-filled evening with friends.  Free mini-massage, delicious desserts, bone scan, and uncomfortable and stress-free mammogram.”  Well, the first 3 were enticing, and then it dawned on me, “A man had to have written this because NO mammogram is void of discomfort or stress-free”…..well, at least the ones I’ve had.

Brenduhh has two brothers…. Briten and Early. They were quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Briten said, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife – she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."  Early spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and said, "Better think it over---women like that are hard to find."  Bless their hearts.

My friend has 3 boys.  They are all interesting in their expressions and descriptions of common objects.  Here is one of their gems:  "Hey Mom, where do you keep the finger pliers? You know, those mini pliers you use to take out splinters?" ...”Well son, we call those tweezers.”

Have you ever wondered how TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR is said in other languages?  Here are some:  Latin: Mica, mica parva stella.  French:  Brille, brille, petite étoile. Spanish:  

Brilla, Brilla, pequeña estrella.  German: funkel, funkel kleiner Stern.  Mandarin Chinese:  yī shǎn yī shǎn liàng jīng jīng.  Hawaiian: `Imo `imo hôkû iki.  

You will find relief from vain fancies if you do every act in life as though it were your last. -Marcus Aurelius, philosopher, writer, Roman emperor (121-180) (121-180)

If you use half dollars, quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies, you can make change for one dollar 293 times!  Start counting.  J

Have you ever noticed music seems to say what the heart and soul can not?  Whether it is happy, sad, frantic, calm there is a song or piece written which will fill the emotion(s).  Music grounds me and says what I have trouble putting into words.

Smiles and blessings to you as we close this year and look to another one.  Trudy